My Husband Wants to Know....

LOL! Because it's true? hahahaha
The sooner he accepts that pretty much everything will always be his fault, the happier he'll be!

If he wants a happy wife and a good marriage, teach him these two words: "Yes, dear."

At least that's what my husband always says.

Wait...he didn't read the husband job description manual? One of the official titles bestowed upon a husband is, "Loser of All Things." Comes with the territory dude.

LOL LOL

Tell him, "Remember when you said, 'I do.' " That is history. And the past tense of "I do" is "I did . . ." as in "I did lose things, misplaced things, move items, change locations of items and make mistakes, etc." ;~))

Good luck to you and yours.

ADDED: See Mary L's last paragraph. I wish I had thought of it first. Way to go Mary ! ! !

It's because everything is his fault. Why is that so hard for him to understand?

Men need to be respected, and by constantly being blamed he feels you don't respect him. And don't be so quick to dismiss the kids! In my house, you wouldn't believe what my 16 month old can haul away with sheer will power and what my 7 year old craftily sneaks into her black hole of a closet!!

Perhaps it would be better to ask, "Can you give me any ideas where I might find this missing thing? Because last time I had it was _______ and I set it right here."

It's a great example for your kids to see, too. I'm not trying to preach - I probably sound all superior, but I'm not. I only know this because I was the same way and have found my children with things I never would have guessed and I've been taught that wording by a happily married (for 35 years) person I respect.

I could answer your husband's question, but you wouldn't like the answer and think it rude of me to say, so I will just say to you, take heed what you do and how you treat your husband, because you make him feel like he is always wrong and always blamed.

Funny post. first he has to answer....why do men never stop and ask for help with directions???? Hahah

In my house it is because my husband did it...he is super ocd about things looking clean neat and tidy....problem is when he straightens, he doesn't remember where he puts things or that he even moved whatever it was...

The worst is he doesn't read papers or things that are not his...and has thrown away (now we paper recycle so I can dig and find it...checks not cashed, children's homework, school information, etc etc etc). He says don't leave it on the counter...I say read it before you trash it.

I can be drinking a cup of coffee set it on the counter and turn around...go to pick it back up and it is gone...dumped and mug in the dishwasher...I am not making this up!!

I have learned to live with it and guard my drink with my life...

tell him it's because he married a mean, mean woman.
:)
khairete
S.

When I got married I told my husband...you only need to know two phrases to keep this marriage going. I'm wrong and I'm sorry. LOL

Same reason why husbands do the same thing to their wives. :p

The thing is the person who usually loses stuff doesn't remember all the things they lost, they only remember all the things they were accused of losing but didn't. The spouse on the other hand only remembers the things they lost but not the things they were falsely accused of.

In other words people only remember what is important to us.

Tell your husband we do it because we are human. :)

I have to laugh because my single brother tells me literally all the time that it's good that he doesn't have a mate because every time something is misplaced or lost, he is sure he would blame her!! LOL

Reminds me of the comic about the little kids - Family Circus. There's always the "not me" ghost running around. Of course, that was the kids...

Sounds like you have your own "not me" ghost in your house who is all grown up...

Smiles!
Dawn

In our house, we have a ghost. His/her/it's name is Not-Me.
Perhaps you have seen this ghost floating around your house? :)
In a family of 5 we tend to see a whole lot of this ghost. But it keeps us from accusing one another of a miriad of faulty mishaps. Missing socks, toothpaste splatters on the mirror, relocated items, and the list goes on-and-on.
I hope that something comes along to take your blames and hold them until you can solve them together.
Best to you and your hubby.
God bless,
A.

Simple!

A+B= C

A)
When you live on your own... you're the only person who moves things.
When you live with someone else... if you didn't move it... they did!

B) Asking "Did you move _______?" or "Have you seen my/ the/ Joey's _________?" is asking for help in finding said missing object ... NOT blaming them for taking it!

= C) Why me???

:D

Why does there have to be any blame at all? Your children should see support and team work from both of you. I hate to say it but it does sound like you nag him a bit. It's importan to work together and set the right example instead of looking to place blame for every little thing.

Take it from the divorced mom - everyone needs to accept responsibility for what they do. It doesn't mean they are in trouble...we can just move on!!

I can only answer for this house...he blames me for his head of grey hair and I blame him for everything else.

Oh, it's part of his job description. He didn't know that? Oh, did you forget to write it in the marriage vows?

At our house, my husband says the cats are mine. (His cat-hating act is getting pretty flimsy, though.) But when one of the kitties tosses its cookies on the bed and I have to do sheet laundry first thing in the morning, it was HIS cat who did it, and I don't mind telling him so.

Seriously, if you're going to blame him for everything, make it humorous. And praise him ten times as much as you blame.

We learned this from my mother:

If something is missing it was stolen.

We don't blame the other for moving or blame ourselves for misplacing things we just say it was stolen, laugh and move on.

I have read some of the posts about respecting your husband and they are right on point. Be very careful how you speak to the man you love. Men's egos are very fragile even if they are not.

Tell him it is part of his husband job description - taking the blame. I always blame my husband for everything too. The sucky thing is that half the time, it turns out that the culprit is ME. This is embarrassing because when I'm blaming him, I'm 100% sure it was him. Afterall, 50% of the time, it is. But somehow this right/wrong ratio makes me lose credibility in his eyes.

Ummm, yeah and he is to blam you for everything in his life is that not how this works?

My husband is wonderful and perfectly capable of taking care of just about everything in his life without me (sigh). Having said that, I'm a creature of habit. I put my car keys, scissors, clothes, stuff in exactly the same place every time I use them. He tends to be absent minded (read, a little AD). He puts things down in the last place he used them. So scissors are down in the basement (I'll never find them there). If he's looking for something in the fridge, the orange juice will end up ON TOP of the fridge on the outside of it. I'll find it 7 hours later - this happens regularly at our house.

The other day he said - you always leave the basement light on. Really, that's funny because when I come up from the basement, I flip the switch OFF - every time. So for the next few hours (read, days) - EVERY time I found the basement light on - I made the very loud announcement "I'M TURNING THE BASEMENT LIGHT OFF NOW". I think I lost count of how many times over several days I said it. Guess what? HE had left it ON EVERY SINGLE TIME! Sometimes several times within an hour (he was putting some furniture together so he was up and down many times). It became quite the running joke. After a while, we had a good laugh and I said - you just forget who you're dealing with here, don't you?

I will absolutely admit any mistake I make (and there are many). I will own up to every fault I have (and there are many). I WILL NOT EVER admit to or apologize for something I KNOW I didn't do.

So in answer to your question - sorry, hubby - we love you - but it usually IS your fault. Admit to it, say you're sorry and we'll make you some food and have sex with you. And while you're at it - throw in a load of laundry and turn off the basement light on your way upstairs. I think that's what's kept my husband and I so happy for 20 years.

I wish I could answer him...only my husband blames me for everything!

The other day it was "when you are done with the dryer make sure you shut the door, the light stays on!"....I probably left it open...but I have no idea...

When I get the blame for everything...i just stop doing things. Don't like the way I load the dishwasher...then I won't do it.

I've been told by so many people that I'm "a guy in woman's body"...I get why the nagging is a tuned out...cause I tune out the nagging. (not that I can't nag with the rest of'em) but when I do I quickly remember...at this point I turn off my listening skills. So he probably is too.

:)
Everything is my fault. But I think I earned it....during my first pregnancy, Jeremy found the milk on the desk, the phone in the fridge, a napkin (for eating) in my sock drawer, and a sock on the counter. IN ONE DAY. Another time (same pregnancy) I wanted plain boring black shoes to just slip on and off, nothing special, I didn't care---I saw one that looked fine, then looked under it to find the box with my size, there it is, boom, walked out and bought the shoes without checking them. It's worse when I wore them several days - TO WORK - without realizing they were 2 mismatched black slip on shoes. Jeremy opened the door to help me out of the truck one night and was like "Babe? Those shoes are different! You BOUGHT them that way?" So now, I am always at fault, even if I don't touch anything. Oh well. Perhaps he earned it at some point? :)

(Note: this is before I learned how to be the organized little freak that I am today---it was NEEDED).

Please tell hubby it is totally not his fault. It isn't your either. It's the blue people. They are the ones responsible for all the misplaced items. Do a search for "A Matter of Minutes" and "Twilight Zone" and look for the YouTube video. I think it is broken into a couple of parts but watch and it will explain all---

just blame it on the rain.... it just keeps falling and falling... I hate that song. Well we got to blame for something or we all would go insane.
I blame our dog, cause if it isnt my husband doing it, or the kids. It is her for sure.

your husband along with mine is with the '99%' (not occupiers, but husbands)

Everything is my fault in our home. I've realized it is because I'm the only one who ever puts things away or tidies up. If he is doing those chores in your home, quit your complaining and appreciate the help. Why the need to place blame anyway? I do it to myself, my husband has only harped on a couple of things he claims I am responsible for losing, everything else he lets go because it will eventually be discovered in the drawer/closet/box that I put it away in. Peaceful marraiges are created by partnership not accusations. I sound gripey...sorry! Tell your husband you love him and that he can come to mamasource and ask questions any time.

I stopped blaming my husband years ago. We all know it's him and he's not going to change but life has gotten better ever since I started cursing at the gremlins that keep moving my things. My five year old likes to grab her flashlight to go look for the monsters while I look for whatever went missing.

Also, my mother blames my father for everything that's moved in her house but the blame lies squarely with her on this one. This video is pretty much shows you how she is:

Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
http://youtu.be/6oHBG3ABUJU