My Toddler

Updated on October 14, 2010
V.D. asks from Smithfield, UT
16 answers

My silly almost 3 yr old has to have things done the same way everytime. for example, for her naps everything has to be in its place. There can't be anything out of the norm or she won't go to sleep. She has to have every one of her 4 cuddle animals and her favorite blanket for she'll call for me after I leave. She'll call for me and when I come to see what's up she'll hand me what ever wasn't normally in her room. Are most toddlers this way or is she OCD? It's nice in a way cause she puts her toys away where they go.

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J.P.

answers from Denver on

About this age children start to realize that the world can be a scary place and that they have absolutely no control over what happens. So they will try to control what they can in an attempt to feel safe. This is totally normal behavior and nothing to worry about!
J.

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I think littles thrive on order. As chaotic as it seems when you have kids. They seem to like to have something they can control and they like when things are predictable and constant. If it's not to the point of casuing a problem, I wouldn't worry. Both my kids like to have things done in a very particular way. It feels like they are attempting to make sense of things and to assert thier independence by controling something. It can also be them sort of mimicking us. They see us constantly putting things in order and deciding what goes where - thenthey have thier own space and do the same thing.

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

Toddlers/preschoolers need order. Your 3 year old sounds pretty normal to me. My daughter must have things just the way she wants them as well. For a year and a half her second book at nap time and bedtime was always the same. I had it memorized. When we went on vacation I didn't need to bring it with me because I could "read" it by-heart. I wouldn't worry about OCD at this point.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

She's NORMAL. It is a reflection of their age stage.
At certain ages... they get "orderly" about things.. .and routine oriented... it reflects their changing cognition.

BOTH my kids did and do that too.

Kids this age, WILL line up everything by size or color or type of toy. My kids did that at from 2-3 years old. Normal. NOT 'OCD."

all the best,
Susan

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is 3 and she has to have things a certain way too. Apparently we did a great job establishing a sleep routine for her because heaven help you if you try to deviate from it or cut corners. She needs 2 stories, her 2 teddy bears and to be tucked in with 3 blankets - the same 3 blankets in the same order. She needs both her humidifier and her CD player with lullaby music on.

So I would say it is normal - it's their way of being in control and taking comfort in routine when so much of their day and their life is not in their control and often can seem very random.

I would just give her the things she needs right off the bat and make sure nothing is out of place before you leave the room, just so she does not have a reason to keep calling you back.

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A.K.

answers from Boise on

i have a 3 yr. daughter who does something very similar. She want those certain toys to sleep with and certain things done before hand otherwise we are up till 5 in the morning. After i talked to several people about it and started watching closer to her reaction to bedtime activities, I realized that she had this security in her things. I also talked to a friend who works with children and she explained to me that its not OCD. As children grow up they need a good routine and if she is in a routine at bedtime and threw the day, then i have done right. I dont think you should do anything it makes her happy and comfortable. Good luck

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

This is normal to a certain extent. She reminds me of my kids. LOL But my hubby is OCD...LOL I was sure they got it from him. I'm ADD... so I have other issues. ha ha ha.

She sounds adorable!!

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C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

totally normal and so cute!

They love routine. We forgot Tigger at nanny and papa's once and I was more scared of my son's reaction then I was of just about anything!

I'm with you on watching the symptoms though. I'm ADD too and watch him closely-even though my therapist says 2-3-4 is still to young to know for certain for exactly the above type reasons-I still think some of his stuff may be ADD sometimes-but either way it is still totally normal for this age.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

I'd say she's normal. If you start seeing really out of line things, then you just need to start breaking her of those habits. I think the thing that my Dr. balked at was my 2 yr old needing every shoe exactly the same -- all ties, or all untied and lined up perfectly. I don't really remember the details of what we spoke about. Breaking OCD is just a matter of not allowing the desires that are outside norm. Works well for both me and my son (now 7). I don't think we really started with him until 4 or 5, though, as most 2 and 3 yo are pretty habitual -- even obsessive. My now 2yo is very ritualistic, and in some weird things. I remember babysitting a 3 yo who picked the lint out of her toes as a part of her bedtime ritual. Have fun with it. :) Just remember, "this, too, shall pass".

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Very normal - she has a say so and can control where the things go - so it's comforting and soothing for her.

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

My 2 1/2 year old has to have TEN animals in very specific spots next to and on her for nap & bedtime. Feet have to be covered by a certain blanket, closet door must be shut, fan on, curtains drawn, 5 books next to her head. 5 certain books mind you...
Prayers have to be said (even at nap), kiss then hug. Not hug then kiss- kiss then hug :)
You get my point. If ONE of those things is out of place or does not happen in the right order she freaks out. She was up until 1030 last night because things just weren't right.
So while I think and hope it is just this age, I will look for signs of OCD as she gets older. I have a few odd things I do myself, so I just chuckle and chalk it up to the apple doesn't fall far from the tree :)

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A.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It's hard to say based on what you have posted, but you may want to talk to your pediatrician to make sure your daughter is typically developing in all other ways to rule out autism. A 3 year old son of a friend of mine was recently diagnosed with autism and he does the same thing. My 3 year old is particular about routines as well (bedtime is bath, teeth brushed, stories then bed but if something is missed he just asks when we are going to do it or quickly adjusts to a change. I'm sure she is just fine - especially based on the other posts, but with autism, early intervention can make a huge difference and it is better to err on the side of caution.

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R.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Her behavior is absolutely normal! She will grow out of it by the time she is 4. Most kids exhibit symptoms of any number of Psychological disorders when they're young, and they grow out of all of them (unless there's a real problem) by the time they're 7. Relax. Your pediatrician knows what to look for.

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

My almost 3 year old has to have the following before bed: 2 Barney books read to her (the same ones EVERY night!), her room clean, her Lorax doll, her 2 frog dolls, her catfish doll, a sippy with 2 ice cubes and water and her blankie. Yes, OCD is very normal at this age! Lol.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

It may be a little OCD but it does not have to become a problem. Don't overreact just let her deal with the world the way she feels she needs to. All of us have our own little quirks and that just makes us unique. My youngest shows a lot of these same tendencies but I try to look into the future and see what a future he has set for himself. My daughter is in college now and she wants the world to be perfect for her and I tell her that life is not that way. She has a pleasant personality and looks at things very logically but keeps her GPA up and her kitchen clean. The world is good!!

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

One of my children is this way. It is not necessarily an OCD thing it is just who your daughter is. I have had days where my son will not walk another step unless his shoes are fastened evenly, he has to have all the same elements around when he goes to sleep, has to keep the same schedule all the time, etc. He is perfectly normal in every other way just very scheduled, picky and tidy. One other note, he doesn't seem to flip out or have any social issues that tend to go with OCD. I would just keep an eye out for any other behavior socially or emotionally before I would worry. I think she is just fine though, just who she is.

Good luck

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