My Two Year Old Son Is Driving Me Crazy!!

Updated on December 01, 2011
M.B. asks from Ballwin, MO
17 answers

Hi Ladies!
Past couple weeks my son has been more than a handful. He knows how to open doors, unlock dooors and even break the child locks off the doorknobs. I had put a child lock on the inside of his bedroom door to keep him in there during bedtime, he gets out of his bed too. Well lately, he has been refusing to take naps and if I can keep him in his room, he usually trashes his room. He has broken several things this week. I know hes tired because tonight he passed out during dinner. Why isnt he napping? He goes to bed around 8-9pm and usually wakes up on or before 7am. Hes getting into everything, refusing to nap, breaking things and just being insane! When I disipline him, he thinks its funny. What am I going to do with him!?!?!

What can I do next?

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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

I wish I had advice for you...I will be watching to see what advice you get, my son is 3 and he started to refuse his afternoon nap and he wakes at 6 am to go to preschool and when he forgoes his nap he falls asleep at dinner time too...so frustrating!

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T.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

I am picturing the Tasmanian Devil whirling through your house. I'm sure you are exhausted.
I think I'd put up some of the valuables until this phase passes. I think he's hit another growth spurt along with an intelligence spurt (knowing how to unlock doors).... You probably need to find some new toys to challenge him with.... and take him to the park in the afternoon and let him burn off some steam, feed him a good dinner, give him a warm bath and hopefully he'll calm down and listen to a story if mom doesnt fall asleep while reading it to him ;)
Have you changed his diet at all? If you are introducing new sugary foods or juices you may be seeing the results of a sugar high. Watch the sugar, lots of kids are very sensitive to its effects. And definitely no caffeine. I only say this because I do know moms that give their toddlers Pepsi.... that is just wrong.

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Just keep trying if that's what you want to do. My daughter was about 2 when she gave up her naps and then started taking them again around 2 1/2 yrs old - but of course has since stopped (she turns 3 this weekend). You can also try to do an earlier bedtime. My 3 yr old goes to bed at 7:30 and my 7 yr old goes to bed at 8pm.

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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Oh, the terrible twos! He is asserting his independence, and wants to see how you'll handle it. My son loves time-out and thinks it's a blast. I just keep praying that some day he won't like it and that he'll see it as a punishment. My son also decides that he doesn't want a nap some days, and then he is miserable for the entire afternoon and early evening. What we do when he trashes his room is take things out in succession. Like, "if you try do destroy your book bin, we will take it out." Then, if he tries to ruin it, out it goes. One day, he had everything out of his room (even his bed which he tried to break), except for his dresser! It only took a few days of losing everything each day to put an end to that. My husband and mother thought I was crazy, but I knew that it would work for him. It might not work for you. You'll need to find something that your son really likes, and then use that to your advantage. Don't be mean, but give him warning that if he continues this behavior, he will get negative consequences. I also am a firm believer in giving choices. Give him a choice between 2 options - "You can take a nap or sit quietly. You can choose, or I can choose for you." Then, if he doesn't hold up his end of the bargain, he will get a consequence. This will take time to get him used to the system, but he will catch on, and it will make your life so much easier. Good luck, from one toddler mother to another!

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My son is 2y 8m and doesn't nap every day. He is trying to give it up all together. So, on the days he doesn't nap, we put him to bed at 7. My 5 year old goes to bed at 7:30. Maybe your son is ready to give up his nap and just go to bed a little earlier.

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R.F.

answers from Kansas City on

Ooooh I know EXACTLY what your talking about. I remember when my son was at that stage and i was also pregnant with my 2nd I thought I was gonna loose it! I think the nap time battle is just a phase it may last a few months but don't give up on naps completely. I think sleep is very important for children and I think it affects their behavior tremendously! I think it's crazy when I hear mom's say their kid stopped taking naps at 20 months or around 2. I think as long as his room is safe for him he needs to stay in there during nap time. You can't force him to sleep but you can keep in in the routine of having quiet time. I'm sure he'll get back to a regular sleep pattern.

Are you a SAHM? Does he go to Mother's Day Out or anything like that where he can run his energy out and wear himself out? Or do you have a gym memebership? We go to the gym all the time and my kids LOVE the Kids Club there. They go play and run around like crazy then come home and their pooped out tired ready for a nap. I stay home with my 2 & 5 year old and they go to preschool 3 days a week in the mornings and we go to the gym 4-5 days a week it's good for them AND good for me. I'd go crazy if I couldn't go burn some stress at the gym, or have my quiet time grocery shopping.

I also know it's harder now that it's cooling off because we can't go outside and play or go to the park so I think the kids get a little stir crazy being stuck in the house just as much as we do. I hope this advice helped! Good luck and know that your not alone.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

This is normal, so stay calm. start with taking out alot of the 'clutter' out of his room. Leave a stuffed toy to sleep with but the rest is just an invitation to play. Find light blocking curtains (Wal-mart carries some very inexpensive ones) and, if he respond well to it, soothing music. Don't tell him it's nap time, tell him it's quiet time and he can look at a picture book in his room (with his stuffed animal) for half an hour, Quietly. Every time it gets noisey start the timer over again.
Look on the bright side, my mother had a freind whose two year old was an escape artist, no amount of deadblot, childproof locks, or watchful family members could keep him in.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

I've known kids to drop naps about this time. I know one Mom who dropped her son's nap but instead put him to bed earlier at night. Eventually he was getting all his much needed sleeptime at night so it was all good. Plus he would get an hour of downtime everyday.

Could be he is also testing boundaries and looking for some independence/some control. That's typical right about this age.

Sorry that's all I've got.

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

I sure hope you get some answers because this sounds exactly like my son. He is almost 3 but is still a huge handful. Totally different than his older sister. Unfortunately his little sister is starting to act just like him. I am eager to see what other moms say.

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P.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was about to create a post about my newly turned 2 year old son driving me crazy too! Dang what happened! It's like a switch in their brains. I was dreading this phase for a long time and it's finally here. He's a strong willed kid, always been and now it's kicking into high gear. He hasn't gotten into the room wrecking phase but probably because I still have him in his crib. He has quite time before bed and my husband has to read him a few stories then we turn on some classical music on really low, he has a vibrating mattress and he also had a Twlight Turtle that when you turn on the moon & stars reflect on the ceiling. It's a nice, cozy and peaceful room that we have set up for him to knock him out and give us a break! We started putting him to bed a few min. early everyday until in was 30-40min. earlier then his usual bed time which was 8p.m and now it's 7ish! it's great and he doesn't know the difference cause he's tired. You might want to let your son run it off and get all that engery out an hour or two before bed. He'll wear himself out! Well I'm in the same boat with you so I'm still trying to figure out the best methods to manage my 2 year old so I feel your pain. Good luck to you and I hope you find some tips and adivce that helps! :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

At 2, he could still be in a crib.
Make sure he is TIRED by nap time.
Try a story CD for him to listen to...or music...
Black out curtains
Gate at the door. I don't like the idea of any lock on a kid's door.
Take out most stuff until he is better used to staying in there.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I have two year old twins, so I feel your pain times two! Our boys were out of their cribs a little before they turned two. We emptied their room of everything except their mattresses. If you're struggling to keep him in his room, turn the doorknob backwards so you can lock it from the outside. Some days they fall asleep after 20 minutes, other days it takes over an hour. But, we've only had one time where they didn't take a nap. I think taking everything out of his room will be good for him, and he will eventually fall asleep because there won't be any other option for him. Good luck!!

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

both of my boys quit napping by age 2. I put a baby gate up to their rooms and they played during their regular nap time so I could get some chores done during those 2 hours that they used to nap. I didn't shut their door, the gate allowed me to peek in and check on them to make sure they were safe and not climbing. Sometimes they were tired and would fall asleep after playing for 20 minutes but most of the time they would sit quietly reading a book or play with toys. After quiet/nap time was over I would have them put their toys away and then they could play in the living room or hang out with me whatever I was doing.

Keeping them on their normal nap schedule helped as it didn't become a power struggle. I just told them they either take a nap or play quietly in their rooms but this is mommy's quiet time and after quiet time is over we will do something fun.

my daughter took naps until she was 4 1/2. She liked her naps and wasn't a struggle to get her to take one.

Some kids need more sleep than others. If they don't want to nap it is just a power struggle and miserable to make them. You spend over an hour fighting with them to take that nap and could of just made it a calm and relaxing quiet time without the power struggles. They will sleep when they are tired. Some kids require 10 hours of sleep, others require 12. 10-12 hours is normal at that age and looks like he sleeps at least 10 hours every night.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well my friend has 3 boys.
On all their doors... they simply put in a latch... those hook and eye latches on their doors.... WAY up high... at least 5 or more feet up the door... so that the kids cannot reach it.
That solved that problem, of their boys opening any and all doors.

Naps...at this age of 2, they often have nap and sleep tweaks. They are changing so much....
Make sure, he gets LOTS of runaround time in the MORNING... before lunch. Boys... are like wild horses... they NEED to exert themselves physically and get their yah-yahs out.
THEN, come home, have lunch. WIND-DOWN before nap... making everything keyed down and quiet. Verbally cue him that after lunch it is wind-down and nap.... my kids take about 1/2 to one hour to wind-down and key down, before nap. For example.
Do NOT do all of the nap prep... AT nap time. Do it way BEFORE nap time. Otherwise, nap time... will get too late.
Always wind-down and key down the child, PRIOR to the actual nap time.

DURING wind-down... keep everything quiet, not hyper, calm and even make everything dark if you have to. Close any curtains etc.
That's what I do.

Your son does still need a nap.
He is over-tired.
Which you know.

My son, is 4... and he still naps everyday, in the afternoon.
I do, what I mentioned.
He naps for 2-3 hours. And still goes to bed at night just fine.

If your kid is trashing everything in his room... remove it. All of it. Leave nothing in his room, besides basics. Tell him this.

all the best,
Susan

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Oh dear....I hear you! I think at 2 all kids go through a weird sleep thing...and it sucks! As far as discipline...they all think it's funny too. It's highly annoying to you, but totally normal for them and you just have to stay consistent and really try not to get visibly angry (even though I'm sure you're seething on the inside) b/c that won't help the situation. On days he doesn't nap I would really try to put him to bed earlier, maybe half an hour or so. As adults (and even older kids I think) when we go to bed later we sleep longer, but not so much for toddlers. I don't know why, but they seem to get over tired and just can't seem to sleep...sleep breeds sleep. The more they sleep the more they need to/want to sleep. My daughter was 22 months when we moved her to a big girl bed, which I'm assuming is what your son is in, and it was hell. Now it's great and I'm so super glad that it's behind us, but at the time...hell. It took months and months for us to get her sleeping down, but we did and now it's so, so, so much better! I would try the gate on his room, but be prepared for him to climb over it farily quickly. We never used any child locks, etc. b/c as you said, the figure out how to break them quickly. We used the "Super Nanny" method of putting her back in her room over and over again. It works, but it has it's moments! As far as naps, he will probably come back to naps, it's most likely just a phase. If he doesn't nap, just keep him in his room for 30-60 minutes. If he trashes it, make him help you clean it back up. It shouldn't be a punishment, but you should discuss with him a better way to "play" when he's by himself. Every time you leave him in his rom for "nap" tell him, you can sleep or you can play, but if the room is messy we're going to have to clean it before we can do anything else. He'll eventually get it and I hate to be yet another person who says...he'll grow out of it, because that surely doesn't help while you're still in it!! BUT, until he does grow out of it, try and keep your sanity and your patience and make sure you get breaks for yourself so that your temper doesn't get too hot. This is a hard stage!

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Oh my, sounds like my 2 year old daughter. I don't even know what to tell you except I feel your pain! Strong willed children are sure a handful, but I hear that their personality will really be helpful to them when they are older!

I always lay with her while she falls asleep though, she falls asleep if I am in there and we get some special quiet time together, so it works really well for us. Maybe he needs to nap later in the day, recently my daughter moved her nap from around 12, to almost 2.

Good luck...

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B.L.

answers from Madison on

i am having the same problem but my 2 year old WONT wake me up in the morning! he gets into every thing and trashes my house! and he is very quiet about it to. my bedroom door is always open at night for that reason and my boyfriend has also slept in the living room many time to try and catch him and he is so quiet tht no 1 wakes up!

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