Ok...we are at our wits end here. We have two boys who share a room as of a few months ago. They started with the eldest in his toddler bed and the youngest in a crib. That didn't last long since the eldest kept encouraging the little one to climb out. So, now with them both in toddler beds..nap and bed times are a HUGE struggle and frustration. They need their naps and many days don't get one.
These are the things we have tried:
1. Sitting in there with them. Doesn't really work b/c the eldest will not listen and will jump in his bed keeping the youngest awake and wanting to play.
2. Moving the eldest out to a chair where he sits while the youngest learns how to put himself to bed. This often means the oldest doesn't nap or is napping into dinner time and a late night.
3. Letting them try to learn to put themselves down together. Never works! Someone ends up hurt and it feels really out of control to me.
We want to encourage them to learn how to go to sleep together. It is not an option to go back to separate rooms. We like seeing them bond and play but it just feels like it is wrong all around. Everyone is wasting soooo much time, they aren't sleeping and it feels like it is causing the oldest to not listen which he has always done.
Thank you for any ideas or suggestions you have. :)
I've also got a 4 and a 2 and I nap them in separate rooms. One is in my bed.
First of all, the naps may be out the window....I know you KNOW they need naps, but many kids drop them off around 2 or older. My suggestion would be to have a quiet time the next time it's naptime. This can be in their beds or in your bed or on the couch. They can read or watch a cartoon. No getting up or playing.
Then at bedtime, all three of you lay in your oldest's bed and read them stories. Tell them it's now nightime and turn the light off. I lay with my oldest (youngest is still in crib) and say prayers and sing them a few songs and will rub my daughter's back for a few minutes. Then I continue to lay in there for a few minutes until the youngest stops moving in his crib. I tell my duaghter I'm leaving and then open the door.
My son is a great sleeper and my daughter still wakes up at night. She used to come into our bed but now we're walking her back to her bed and layign with her for a few minutes. She'll usually wake up 1x around 11 then if we lay with her, will sleep until 630-7ish.
Consistency is key...as is a schedule. If they know what is coming (teeth, books, bed) then they know what to expect. Let them pick out books. If your son is jumping while you are reading, tell him you will leave the room until he can lay down. If my daughter fidgets or 'plays' when I'm in bed with her, I stop my songs and tell her I will not continue if she's playing. They know that when the lights go out, it's time to relax, close your eyes and rest. Maybe turning off the light and telling them a story or softly recounting their day will be a good way for them to relax.
Good luck!!
Carla
Is it more important for them to nap in the same room, or just gets naps. It sort of sounds like napping in the same room just don't work. I have a 4 yr old girl and 2 yr old boy who share a room too. My daughter is outgrowing naps and will now often stay up, but before that she took half of her naps in our bed. My son snores and she had a hard time falling asleep to that. When she slept in our bed for naps everyone slept and was happy. It seems like you have to decide whats most important. It won't be like this forever.
Just did this with my boys (22mths & 3.5yrs)-same struggles as you! Unfortunately, I've resorted for nap time putting them in separate rooms. They younger one gets the shared room, my oldest gets 'the big bed' in our spare room. He doesn't have to nap, but he does have to stay quiet and not get up until his brother is awake. 90% of the time he falls asleep, for at least 1.5hr.
At this point you'll have to decided whether napping your 4 yr old is worth your stress. IF it isn't might be worth sharing your bed or at least finding another room to allow him to fall asleep on his own. I'm sure once the excitement of sharing rooms wears off we'll be able to put them back in the same room to fall asleep!
Good Luck
Updated
Just did this with my boys (22mths & 3.5yrs)-same struggles as you! Unfortunately, I've resorted for nap time putting them in separate rooms. They younger one gets the shared room, my oldest gets 'the big bed' in our spare room. He doesn't have to nap, but he does have to stay quiet and not get up until his brother is awake. 90% of the time he falls asleep, for at least 1.5hr.
At this point you'll have to decided whether napping your 4 yr old is worth your stress. IF it isn't might be worth sharing your bed or at least finding another room to allow him to fall asleep on his own. I'm sure once the excitement of sharing rooms wears off we'll be able to put them back in the same room to fall asleep!
Good Luck
We moved our two in together last summer at ages 23 months and 3 3/4. My youngest will turn 3 next week and my older will be 5 in Sept. The best and current way we have come to is to actually tuck them in seperately at seperate times. So they bathe together, then the younger goes to their room and gets pjs on, a book read, tucked in...the older goes to our room and gets pjs on, a book read, tucked in. Personally I really like this setup and my older definately does b/c she gets books that are for her level and for a longer amount of time than when we read to both kids together. In about 20 minutes we check to see that the younger is asleep and then move the older (who is often, though not always asleep too) to their shared bedroom. I know many people suggested to me to stagger bedtime...put the youngest down first and have the older follow in 30 minutes, our older needs the same bedtime (7-715) as our younger but I think the key is that the kids aren't together while they are trying to go to sleep. My only suggestion for nap time is have one kid nap somewhere else...a couch, another bed in the house, pillow and blanket on the floor, etc. Good Luck!
My oldest gave up napping at age 3, the younger one at age 2 since there was a sibling to stay up for. I would give up the nap for the 4 year old, that way he may be more sleepy at bed time. Older one does not listen and jumps on the bed? If he never listens, then he needs more discipline during the days since night time brings out the worst. Have you tried putting them to bed at different times? With no nap the 4 year old can go to bed earlier and when he is asleep or close to it, just put the 2 year old in the crib when he is truly tired. Or vice versa might be easier, give all your attention to the 2 year old - bath, story, song, bed. While the 4 year old gets to watch a "big boy show". Then once the little one is in the crib, give all your attention to the 4 year old outside the shared room in your big bed. But then transfer him to his bed after story and snuggles. Make sure to catch him being good - maybe he is acting up to get some attention.
I don't have any suggestions, but I envy your situation of naptime!!! My 4.5yo son gave up his nap at 26 months!!!!!!!!!
