Nap Time

Updated on April 23, 2008
S.H. asks from Oakland, CA
20 answers

My 4 month old boy is a great sleeper at night, usually 7 hours straight and then 1 feeding and then he's down again for another 3 or so. Our problem is during the day. I can't get him to take naps at home. He has become very used to being in the stroller on walks with me. I am thinking that it is time to let him cry it out during the day for his naps. How long should I let him cry? I've read HSHHC and Babywise. He usually goes about 1.5-2 hours between needing to sleep again. I am getting caught between feeling that he is too young and wanting to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. Helpful tips and opinions would be great.
Thanks!

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C.T.

answers from San Francisco on

Get a copy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Everyone I know swears by it and it works!
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from Fresno on

Let him cry it out. The earlier you start the better it will be. It should only take a few days, (4 for my son) and then they get the hang of it! Those are 4 really hard days though! You have to be tough, and not get them up no matter what. I would go in every 15-20 min. and say nap time, or night time and lay him back down. After a few days the crying becomes less and less and now both my boys go dowm without a peep. Once he can stand in the crib he might start crying again, just go back in and lay him down every 15-20 min. and he should get the hang of it again!

J. H

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

May be you coulg slowly transition him out of the stroller. Start by walking him around the back yard, then the living room, then in his room. I wiukd then try in his room just rocking him back and forth in the stroller. finally just put him in the stroller and don't touch it. once he can fall asleep with out motion you can then show him that he can sleep in his crib or where ever you would like him to sleep.

The other thing that worked for my son for naps was to do his bed time routine for naps. Minus the bath. we read several stories nurse and the rock for a while. i am now able to get about an hour out of him for his naps.

Hope this helps
A.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Stockton on

I have a lil man myself and this is the first time I am a mom and a single one at that. I have found a routine foe my lil guy. when he starts to rub his eyes i pick him up on the couch with me and he strattles my knee. We rock a little or bounce and i pat his back and then he usually falls asleep on me in like 2 - 5 minutes then after i hear his breathing increase I know he is out so I will put him on the couch with pillows on the floor incase he rolls or i pick him up and put himin his crib....i think now he knows the routine and what is expected then he falls asleep easier. Justa thought, he is one now and we still have our routine. I would hate for you to also demand the naps and then he stops sleeping through the night. Teething is coming up and night time sleep isnt all that great for the months to follow.

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A.T.

answers from Sacramento on

S.,
I too have 4 month a girl and she sleeps very well at night and only wakes once to feed and then goes back out for another 3 to 4 hrs. I do love the sleeping through the night but during the day it is different.She dose not sleep long during the day. If I get one good nap a day that is good.I do get little naps throughout the day.She dose fight naps but I keep trying and I do win the battle.I do look at the signs red eyes rubbing the face and crankyness.I do a bottle and cuttle. I do think 4 months is too young to cry it out.Also look at how much he is eating I do notice when they have a full belly they sleep better.Hope this helps. Good luck.

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P.C.

answers from Bakersfield on

If your gut is telling you your son is too young, then that is your answer. Books such as babywise go against a mom's natural instinct to respond to their crying babe and give in to the desperate need for him to sleep through the night or nap. But babies shut down when they have to cry it out and emotionally, that is very hard on them and has long term consequences about their expectations and trust for you to be there when they have a need. Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution offers gentle alternatives to cry it out, which won't work as fast as babywise but will help your babe remain secure in his knowledge that you will be taking care of him and not abandoning him when he is in need. The stakes can be raised for napping and sleeping through the night when he is a bit older and can assimilate his frustrations better (maybe around 7-10 mos). This is my opinion about the cause and effect of how babies develop emotionally based on my experience, reading and help from our parenting organization, I'm not an expert. But we've had great luck with my son and he is very secure and easygoing as a result, which we are so grateful for. Good luck, dear.

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C.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with Christina. Once you find something that works, stick with a routine.

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M.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Here are a couple of things I found helpful: "The Happiest Baby on the block" (Dr. Karp)has 5 "esses": Swaddle, Swing (which is why the stroller works so well - rhythmic movement), Side positioning, shushing (white noise), and sucking. To transition from stroller to crib, you could try buying an attachment that vibrates and gradually phase it out. The baby whisperer recommends a schedule of Eat, activity, sleep, and "you" time (EASY). Also, my baby was very sensitive to light during the day, so darkening the room helped. It will take some time to transition. Things never happen immediately, and every baby is different, so you have to figure out what will work for both you and him. And things will always be in flux for the first year. As soon as one of mine started sleeping better, something would happen to throw it off: growth spurt, teething, developmental milestone, change in older siblings' schedules. Good luck!

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C.W.

answers from Sacramento on

You are unhappy with the way things are. It is a good time to try something different. Whatever change you make, you should try it for three days. I've found that it takes three days or less to change a routine. If the nap time routine isn't getting better after three days, try something else or wait a month or so.

I suggest you put him down when he's tired (after 2 hours). Sing and rock him in your arms for one lullaby. Put him down. Let him cry for at least 15 min. Whether you let him cry longer than that is up to you. You could come and do the sing/rock thing again and let him cry another 15 if necessary. Listen to his cry. If it urgent, then you might get him after 15 min. If it is tired, then you might wait another five.

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S.K.

answers from San Francisco on

i don't think it's too early to start to help your little guy get into a routine! i agree with the other responder that it's a good idea to pay attention to baby's cues...rubbing eyes, etc. and then be consistent with a "naptime" routine. i'm sure there will be some tears and how long you decide to let baby cry is totally up to you and really depends on what kind of cry it is! if it's just a "fussy" cry, i would let it go for 20 minutes or so, but if it's more of an escalated cry, i might go in after 5 minutes and soothe and then try again. i really do believe that babies need to be taught how to sleep well, but with lots of love, patience, and consistency. i really liked the baby whisperer book, as well as the babywise book. but as with any book, use your own mommy-instinct to know what is best for our baby! good luck to you!

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Please don't let him "Cry it out"!!! It is damaging to your LO- it'll break the trust between the two of you. There are plenty other more humane ways of teaching you baby to self soothe. Read "The Baby Whisperer" or "The Happiest Baby on The Block"...
He's just starting to organize his daytime sleep- it's completely normal to have nap issues at 4 months.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I am against making a baby cry it out. I think the only thing we need to teach our babies is trust and love. Babies intuitively know when they are hungry, or sleepy. I feel forcing them to go against their natural clock is wrong. Not only are you telling the baby not to trust their own body you are telling him that you will not always be there when he needs you.

Before you know it your babies schedule will change on its own.

J

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L.O.

answers from Sacramento on

I've heard that you can let a baby cry it out for 20min and if they are still crying after that then something else is wrong... diaper, hungry, wanting to be held, etc.
You could call your baby's doctor and they should be able to tell you how long they recommend.
Good Luck.

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I know for both our boys, naps took about 6-8 months to fall into a schedule of sorts. I think it's great that you want him to be able to fall alseep on his own. It's definately an important thing to learn, but I'm not a huge fan of CIO for babies under a year. Maybe for now, start a nap routine: when you see he's sleepy (eye rubbing, fussy etc) nurse or give him a bottle, maybe some rocking along w/a book, then lay him down in his crib & maybe rub his back a bit. Both our boys have always liked going to sleep w/music on & they still do at 7.5 yrs & 3 yrs. Maybe your son would like that. It might take him a bit of time to get used to the nap schedule. He'll probably cry some when you put it down so maybe go back in & rub his back some more but the key is to stay consistent so he can get used to the routine. There may be times that the nap just isn't gonna happen when you want it to so you'll have to deal w/that. I know I myself didn't like the Babywise book & it was met w/a lot of opposition. I really liked the A Baby Whisperer. Hope this helps & good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Stockton on

I read Babywise too, and honestly it is not for me, so you can take advice with a grain of salt.
My boy is the same 4 mo. and 1.5-2 hours between naps and he only naps for around 25-45 minutes.
It could just be a phase. As they get older babies are supposed to drop a nap and get down to two a day, then one right? Well according to my MIL my husband NEVER napped!! So it really depends on the child.
Do you nurse to sleep? If he likes the motion of the stroller how about a swing, that worked great for us to keep him asleep for a long time (until he out grew it).
I rock my boy to sleep, then put him down. That works much better, and I wait until he is sleepy. He has created his own schedule the gives me some idea of when I will have free time. I also do extra tummy time to wear him out, and extend playing to make sure he is sleepy.
Good luck.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Not being able to get your little one to nap is very frustrating, but even the CIO advocates state not to use it before 6 months. Have you read The No Cry Sleep Solution? That helped us with naps. I would really try every other method before going to CIO.

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K.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I know that we are all different and have different needs but I urge you to please not let him cry it out. Many babies sleep better on the go - stroller, carseat etc. I've been a nanny and a mom for years and have let many babies fall asleep in the stroller and then wheel the stroller into the house. There's also nothing wrong with letting him sleep in a vibrating bouncie seat and they also have protable vibrating devices now that you can put in the baby's crib or bassinet or wherever you are. Sleeping in a swing is fine too. Babies like movement. They slept on the go, bouncing around all the time in our bellies! I'd much rather have a baby who was addcited to sleeping with some sort of motion than who learned to fall asleep by crying his heart out and feeling disconnected. Especially at 4 months old!! They also like white noise so an air filter or fan in the room might help as well. Please, I'm not judging you at all, just urging you to use that motherly love and instinct and see a different way to go about this. Good luck!

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

This is the time when I transitioned my boy from napping in the stroller to napping in the crib. First I would have him fall asleep in the stroller, then put the stroller in the room for the nap (about 1 and a half weeks of this). Then I moved him to the crib for the nap and would let him cry for about 15 - 20 minutes. While hearing him cry was hard, it worked and in about 4-5 days, he no longer cried and looks forward to his naps. He is 27 months now and my only advice is DO THE WORK NOW!!! There are sleep transitions later that if you haven't done the work now (learning to sleep on his own) it will only get harder. Whereas if you do the work now, you will get through the later transitions much more easily. Good luck!

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T.D.

answers from San Francisco on

He is not to young at all. If you wait any longer it will be very hard to train him to sleep on his own. I have a three year old son. We just got him sleeping on his own after his three year bday. Now my 5 month old is going to sleep on her own. You learn alot from your first. All the habits you have to break at an early age.

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B.G.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.-
I was having the same problem with my daughter... turns out that she was so used to sleeping in her room when it was dark outside, so when it was light she just wanted to fight it. We got some black out shades, actually used blankets over the windows for a while, and now that it's dark when I lay her down she goes down so much easier.
Good luck!

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