Napping Problems - Charleston,SC

Try putting on a kids video or soothing music. This is what I had to do to make my son take a nap without having me nearby.

Renee,

I'd allowed my 6 month old to get into that habit as well, and soon realized that we needed a solution that anyone could simulate when I wasn't around. It took a few days to make progress on this, but it is possible to wean him from needing your breast to fall asleep. Like the other responder said, a structured naptime routine (shorter than bedtime, but with similar elements) is key to getting this to work. For us, I'd nurse him until he was drowsy, and then pull him off. He'd fuss a little bit, so I'd pick him up and burp him. Then when cuddled him again, I'd give him his pacifier. It won't work the first time, but eventually, he'll suck on the pacifier without argument. We just used the paci as a transitional object, and eventually, I could put him down without it. I've read (Baby Whisperer) that sometimes baby's need to suck on something before sleep to expel excess energy. Now at naptime, I give him his pacifier and cuddle him close just as I would if nursing. At first, I was worried he'd get attached to sleeping with the pacifier but found that I could remove it as he started to doze off, and now he usually spits it out on his own.

First I'll add to the list of moms recommending the Pantley book. Also, please check out the wonderful advice on this subject by Kellymom, a breastfeeding, lactation, and parenting website. (They have excerpts from some of Pantley's books, too.)

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.ht...

No, you didn't "miss" anything. In fact, you and he would have missed a lot more if you had STOPPED nursing him to sleep just so that it might be easier for other people at different times to get him to nap.

If you have recently gone back to work, and he's currently making the transition, he will learn to adapt when you aren't there. If he's been there a while and starting to have problems napping, don't be so quick to blame the problem on nursing to sleep when you are around. Sleeping patterns vary a lot in the first year, plus there are so many other things that could be going on that he can't tell you about (teething, tummy ache, headache, "just not tired", overtired, overstimulated etc. ) Babies can adapt to different situations. How nurturing is the staff when they are trying to encourage the babies to sleep?

I would recommend finding your own way to get him to sleep when you are there, (nursing being the most effective way I know) and letting dad or the caretakers find their own way when you are absent. Nursing a baby to sleep works so well that it feels like a magic trick - and I wasn't ABOUT to give up my "secret weapon" just so that it MIGHT make it easier for someone else at some other time. I nursed both my boys to sleep and upon waking whenever I was there, and they continued to nurse to sleep long after they stoppped nursing during the day. They obviously enjoyed the comfort and security and snuggly time with mom more than the milk it provided. I never let them cry it out - not for 5 seconds. And when they were with a sitter or at a daycare, they learned to fall asleep without the breast.

They're smart, though, if my youngest was home alone with Dad (or a baby sitter), he would fall asleep without too much fuss. But if he knew that I was there, in the other room, he wouldn't settle for Dad - he was holding out for the genuine article: MOM.

Some moms do like to vary the methods for getting them to sleep, sometimes rock, sometimes sing or hum, sometimes
nurse, in hopes to make the baby used to various methods.
I guess that would be a good way to find other methods that you could then recommend to others, but... I don't think it's necessary. Do what works for you, and don't stop just because someone else can't use your trick.

There are a million little tricks to help ease babies to sleep, the bottle of warm milk, walking with them on your shoulder, loud white noise. When my second was a baby, the sound of a hairdryer would knock him out within a few minutes. I even made a tape recording of the hairdryer and gave it to the daycare with a little tape player (hair dryer itself was too much of a hazard). Unfortunately, they were too stubborn to use it.

Hopefully, your daycare providers are finding some way to help soothe him down for naps, by holding him or rocking him or jiggling his crib (which surprisingly seemed to work wonders for the babies in my first son's baby room).
I had a situation at Crabapple Academy when my second child started there. I noticed that he was getting almost no sleep, although he usually had about 3 hours of naps at home. I tried offering suggestions, brought in a reclining swing, noise machine, etc. It kept going on and I asked about what they did to help them, and one of the directors gave me a lecture along the lines of "babies need to cry it out, we don't "gradually trasition them" because if you're not doing that at home, then you're messing us up here in the day, and you're going to be dealing with sleep issues for life." Needless to say, I went completely "Mama Bear" on the woman and found another place. (BTW, a year later the owner's daughter apologized and said that manager had been sacked.)

Hi Renee. I suggest that you get a copy of "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It specifically addresses all kinds of sleep issues. Most experts recommend from day one to never let your baby fall asleep while nursing. This becomes a tough habit to break and this is the only way that your little one knows how to fall asleep. You will have to teach him to fall asleep on his own. How you teach him depends on your parenting style and how much crying that you will tolerate.

In the above mentioned book it talks about how to wean your child from the constant sucking. Basically, Pantley recommends that when you are nursing the baby and see they are falling asleep, immediately break the latch and stop the baby from nursing. The baby will immediately start rooting around and latch back on. She recommends that you keep unlatching over and over and get them used to falling asleep without nursing.

The whole process will probably be a struggle for awhile but eventually your little one will fall asleep on their own.
Good Luck.
A.

Renee,

I recommend developing a routine and gradually work nursing out of it. By gradually, I just mean over the course of a few days. When I weaned my son, I would read him a story and then nurse him to sleep. I then switched to story, cup of milk (you can use breast milk or formula), nurse a shorter length of time, then bed. Then after a night or so of that, story (or whatever), cup of milk, NO nursing and bed. You may still have to let him cry a bit, but maybe not. It is the routine (in my opinion)they come to love more than the actual activities. Depending on how long you want to stretch this out, you can just shorten the length of nursing time each day or whatever, and you can also do the cup of milk after the nursing. Either way, I think the routine is the key. It then just becomes a part of the routine.

Good Luck!!

I could never let mine CIO either, my oldest was too stuborn we tried it once and she cried so hard she threw up and I never did it again. I don't there's a big problem with lettign her nurse sleep, there are plenty of babies that have nursed to sleep that later on didnt need it to go to sleep.Go to the book store and pick up "the no cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantly , it has not just one way but several ways to get them to sleep withouth having to make them cry themselves to sleep. I dont like crying myself to sleep and it creates stress in everyone. One thing I did with both of my kids is let him have a warm bottle of water in his crib low flow nipple to keep him nursing, yes this is starting a whole new habit but my 3 yr old dosnt take a cup to bed with him and he decided he didnt want it on his own.
Don't give him too any bottles out side of the crib. My daughter selfweaned at 8 months she walked at 9 months,she was just too busy to sit and nurse , and she hasnt stopped moving yet.

With our first, I read the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley to help our daughter who was about that age, learn how to fall asleep without nursing. It really helped. With our second, I just let her nurse to sleep until she weaned (past 12 months) because it didn't really bother me at all. Good luck!

You didn't miss the boat, but you may need to give it more than 5 minutes. If I went in on mine it just made him madder and got more worked up. The first two times of crying it out might have got to 40 min, but after that rarely after 20 and even then it wasn't too many times. Most 9 month olds are still taking two naps a day, so stick with it. "this too shall pass"

Nope you didn't miss the boat - but different things work for different people - for my 2 youngest it was the letting them cry it out- gosh it killed me to sit on the other side of the door and hear my baby crying but I knew I didn't want them to be rocked or nursed to sleep - with a little patience and alot of will power and great support from my hubby - we did it. Don't give up, once you start something with them - the important thing is to keep it up otherwise you will send them them the message of if I cry long enough or hard enough they will come and pick me up and give me what I want. Good luck and your not a bad mom ok - you are not!!! You will do fine and just know that your doing it for their and your own good ok and be strong - its hard but it sounds like you got this in the bag!!!

Research has show that CIO increases anxiety in children that they carry through to adulthood. http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNee... So trust your instincts on that one. I second, third Pantley's book.

But personally, I don't see this as a "problem". Only in the western world is there a rush to make babies Independent. And you know what...they aren't meant to be, not at this age. Sleeping on his own is something that he'll grow into naturally. It's not something that you need to rush or fix. Enjoy this time as it passes too quickly.

My daughter is 15 months, has always fallen asleep at the breast, sleeps with us at night and I have NEVER been told that she can't sleep at Daycare. Even now in the Toddler Room she'll go down for a nap with no problems.

Renee,

I went back to work when my daughter was 12 months old, and she, too nursed to sleep for every nap.

My mother-n-law (who watched her) would warm some milk in a sippy cup (you could use pumped breastmilk or formula), feed it to her in the glider rocker, and then she'd have no problems being put in her crib awake and then falling asleep on her own. When it was someone else putting her down for a nap, and I wasn't in the house, she didn't cry. Are you there when you are attempting to get him to sleep? He can smell you even if you're in the house.

Hope this helps. I've been there.