Need a Good Book to Explain Death to a 4 Year Old

I think you are putting way too much thought into this. At 4 he will accept a very simple explaination. Simply tell him that Grandma got sick and died. But the love she had for him will never die and even though he won't be able to see anymore she will always be with him.
when you go to the funeral home tell him you are going to say good-bye to grandma and that lots of people will be crying and sad because they will miss her. It's okay to be sad and to miss her.

If it comes up later when someone gets sick explain to him that people get sick and most of the time they get better. Keep it simple.

So very sorry !

As a parent educator, I would rec that you share your feelings of grief and keep the explanation tailored to a four year old.

When my daughter was 4, I had to tell her that an Aunt passed away. I told her that I was very, very sad. I told her that the tears were streaming down my face because I loved her very much ! I told her that Auntie's body gave out and she was now in heaven. Then, I reassured her that we would say prayers every day and that God would be taking care of her now.

Because a 4 yr old might think that death is reversible, I told my daughter about a soda can. When a can of soda is opened, it's like the soul goes to heaven and Auntie would be living w/ God now. We still have the can of soda--as the wonderful memories of Auntie.

The next day, I gave her more reassurance that she was ok (us, too) and healthy & we would live a very long time. Sooner or later, a child at that age will begin to wonder if she or another family member will die. It's developmental.

It is important that you do tell him.

I would ask the child librarian to put a couple bks aside for you. Skim through a few of them and decide which 1 you want to read to him.

At that time, I had the book, "When a Pet Dies" by Mr. Rogers in the house.

Also, my daughter would play dolls and the Auntie would die. That is 1 of the ways she was trying to understand...through play.

Do tell him, keep it very simple and offer reassurance when you see it's needed.

Again, so very sorry for your loss!

Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie.

Sorry for your loss. :(

Take this for what it is worth. My older two lived above a funeral home for the first three and five years of their lives. They were always told what they could understand. What they could understand was always defined by the questions they asked.

I don't understand the need to over explain death or a fair few other subjects. Just answer their questions.

I'm another mom who loves 'Lifetimes'. My son calls it The Dying Book, and it's a very simple, compassionate and matter of fact book. Last year we had a baby in our community die-- this was the book that best helped us.

Mister Rogers has a great series on explaining death to young children. It is called "Death of a Goldfish".

You want to be honest, but age-appropriate. You want to explain that things die and death means they can not come back. Do not compare it to sleeping because that can often scare kids. Is MIL being shown? That might confuse the child because she will look like she is sleeping...The funeral home might be an excellent resource to ask as well...

Answer your child's questions as simply and honestly as you can. Using sickness or hospitals can be scary to young kids too because they get sick, they might think they are going to die. I have heard people using plants/flowers dying as a comparison. Or that when someone/thing dies it is because their body stops working. It is a touchy subject...the internet has great resources as well. I would touch base with the funeral director while you are there...

When our daughter was 4, one of her preschool friends mothers, was killed in a terrible accident. I was so worried she was going to be traumatized.

I purchased a few books about death.. One of our favorites was "Lifetimes"
Here is a list of suggestions.. There is a whole section at the book store or you can go to the library and check different ones out.

http://www.naeyc.org/files/tyc/file/Childrens%20Books%20A...

Once she was told that his mother had died , but he was going to get to live with his grandparents.. she really did not say much else.

2 days later she asked me "How will he get food?"

I said "his grandparents are going to take him."

"What if they die, he is too little to drive."

I told her, "We will drive him. He could even live with us."

Her answer "That is a good plan."

He came back to school the next week. they all gave him hugs and he moved on.. It was pretty amazing.. He had always spent a lot of time with his grandparents before this.. so he handled it well.. But I will tell you.. all of us adults.. we were a mess each time we saw him..

"When Dinosaurs Die" I forget who it's by. Very straightforward in good kid language, it's not about the death of real dinosaurs (ages ago) it's about cartoon dinosaurs.
"Where do Balloons go" by Jamie Lee Curtis... more obtuse, doesn't address death directly but it's uplifting and poignant and all kids can relate to losing your balloon.

Good luck. Such a difficult time.

I tell my son when we talk about my father who passed away a couple of years ago...that his body broke. just didn't work anymore. Then go on to explain that he lives on through our memories and that his spirit is all around us, etc. etc.

First of all I'm so sorry for your loss. I once read that it is best to be completely honest with kids about death. If you were to tell him for example, Grandma is sleeping and she will never wake up...it can really confuse him and he may be afraid to sleep.....so they recommend that you explain to him how the body works and what happens when we die, or why we die. He's only 4 so I know this can be kinda challenging, but you'd be surprised at how smart they are. I HTH.

I just explained it to my son and he understood (same age), but your local librarian should be able to help too.