Need Help Managing Different Bedtimes for Infant and Toddler

Put them both to bed early, then go downstairs and enjoy a nice glass of wine! Two year olds don't know what time it is. Heck, my five year old will still believe me when I tell her it's "WAY past her bedtime!" (and in reality it's 7:30). To this day, the child believes her bedtime is 9, when actually it's before 8. Her friends think she's the cool kid with the late bedtime, and I have a well-rested child. I'm a big fan of the early bedtime. Kids this age do so much better with more sleep rather than less, and moms do better when kids go to bed early - it's a win-win situation for you both! Good luck! =)

My kids are the same age and my husband travels a lot so I have to deal with bedtime by myself sometimes and it was so hard at first! What I finally did was have my almost 3 year old go into her room and close the door and do puzzles or look at books for a little while while I feed my 9 month old her last bottle and put her down. Sometimes the 9 month old will cry for just an instant when I put her down but about 15 seconds after I close the door she finds her thumb and puts herself to sleep. But, she does need it to be quiet to take her bottle and rock for about 5 minutes to settle down. I found these easy picture I Spy books that my toddler can do by herself and they keep her entertained for that critical 15 minutes. My baby's room is across the hall so I can listen for my toddler's door to open so I know where she is. I will say that she has emptied all of her books onto the floor before while she had that time to herself in her room but it was still worth it :) Another option that may not be quite as ideal but would work if you are desperate might be to have your toddler watch TV upstairs if you have one or even a portable dvd player upstairs while you are working on your 10 month old putting himself to sleep. Good luck, it isn't easy!!

Hi M.,
I am a HUGE fan of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and have used it to sync my daughter's biological sleep rhythms. It works! Dr. Weissbluth is a firm believer in an early bedtime. I don't know what the boys' nap schedules are but both could benefit from an earlier bedtime, say 6-6:30pm. I am assuming your 10 month old still takes a morning and afternoon nap while your almost 3 yr old take only an afternoon nap. My daughter will be 3 in July and is asleep by 7pm at the latest. I have read that book cover to cover many, many times and still pull it out regularly for a reference. Email me if you want suggestions/info on Dr. Weissbluth's methods, I'm always happy to help!
Sincerely,
L.

Hi. I'm in a similar situation. My husband travels 40% of the time and often works late. We have a 2-story home, too.

Sometimes, I let my toddler watch an episode of Dora or Diego. I don't worry too much about her downstairs alone - I have pretty much toddler-proofed the house, have bolts on all of the doors, and my boxer goes psycho if anyone walks by the house.

She doesn't always want to be downstairs alone, though. So, sometimes I have her read books or do puzzles in her bedroom. When she's feeling particularly needy, she knows that she can come sit right outside the baby's door and that she's not allowed to make a peep or be seen by the baby. In that case, I just make up songs about the both of them and often sing about her not being allowed to make any noise or peek her head into the room. Doesn't always work - there have been times when I've just had to put the baby into bed and let her scream. The crying doesn't last long; I'd say 5-10 minutes tops.

I almost always put the baby down first. Her bedtime is 7:30-8:00 and the toddler's is now 8:00. It depends on how long the afternoon naps last. Oh, I've always been to lazy to do this, but some people have special toys they bring out for the toddler to play with while they're putting the baby down. Just make sure they're only pulled out at those times and that they're ones that won't incite them to noisiness.

Good luck! It's difficult, but eventually they'll be teenagers and go to bed all alone and sleep in to noon.

7:00pm or 7:30 is a COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE bedtime for a not yet three year old. Try putting your toddler down for his nap a little earlier in the day, and put him to bed a little earlier too. My 2 1/2 year old daughter takes a nap from 11-1, and goes to bed anywhere between 7:00 and 7:30 - a child at our childrens age should be getting 13-15 hours a sleep a day, including naps. Thats one two hour nap, and one 12 complete night through.
There is nothing wrong with feeding the baby and getting him ready for bed and putting him down by 7 - read to BOTH of them together, then put the older one in bed at 7:30pm.