My son is 3 1/2 yrs old and does not want to potty train. He knows how to use the potty because when I tell him to go he does it, but just wont do it on his own. I work full time and part time and his dad stays home with him and he doesnt see it necessary to be consistant with the training. Can anyone please give me so helpful advice to pass on the DAD. THanks
Hi A.,
Actually, the more you push and there isn't consistency, I've experienced it creates him peeing the bed. I didn't push mine too hard, but made it fun with having them pee on cheerios to see how many he could "sink" of the "battleships". Mine thought it was a cool game. Ask the dad to take the little guy to the bathroom every time he changes him that way they both remember.
Figured I would give this from a great book that I read. Keep in mind that if your child sees you doing it, they will follow suit. Also...
Excellent tips! :-)
www.amazon.com has a ton of low price, cheap DVDs and VHS's - currently, I am watching one right now called Potty Training 101.
When It’s Time for Potty Training
There are many wonderful ways to help our kids think for themselves and help them become wiser. The following is a story about Harry, who learned, along with his family, that potty training can be fun, for both parent and child.
Little Harry lives in a house that has two bathrooms – one upstairs and one downstairs. One morning, his father said, “Hey, Harry! You want to use the upstairs potty or the downstairs potty?”
“Upstairs! Upstairs potty! Harry said.
A Love and Logic parent, his father smiled and said, “You want to have fun while we’re doing this, or not have fun?”
The great thing about choices with little kids is that they love making them – even when the options we give seem a bit silly to us. The decisions they make on their own make them feel important, leave them with a sense of control, and give them lots of chances to exercise their brains.
Harry looked at his dad as if he were crazy and giggled, “Fun! I want to have fun!”
“Great,” said his dad. “Do you want to bring a drink in with you, or do you want to wait until you’re done?”
“Wait till I’m done!”
“Do you want to bring Clarence, your stuffed sea otter, with us, or do you want to leave him?”
“Bring him!” Harry says, as he goes to retrieve his favorite stuffed playmate.
Now, Harry’s dad moves to the next step – modeling. Although some parents might find it a little embarrassing, modeling is the best way to teach your kids just about anything. Harry’s dad thinks it’s great.
“Hey! I really have to use the bathroom!” he says enthusiastically to his son. “Why don’t you come in with me? Let’s go. Let me show you how it’s done!”
He shows his son how he uses the bathroom. “This is so much fun! he laughs. “Someday when you’re big enough, I bet you’ll be able to use the potty like me! Then you can have fun, too! Boy! I love using the potty! I can even wipe myself! Check this out!” He flushes the toilet and waves, “Bye-bye!” as they look into the toilet.
The logic here is clear. Kids want to be like their parents. Whatever parents do, kids naturally want to be able to do, too. And if parents think it’s fun, kids will, too. So, parents have some choices when it comes to potty training:
• We can allow ourselves to become embarrassed and refuse to model this skill.
• We can fight with our kids over the issue and try to force them to be ready before they actually are.
• We can decide to have some fun, take the pain out of the process, and build strong relationships with our kids. How? Use lots of choices – and model, model, model!
When Parents offer choices, model, and make a task fun, learning happens quickly.
When Accidents Happen
If you know how to ride a bike, you probably remember falling a few times before finding the right balance. When we’re learning something new, accidents are bound to happen. So it is with out children when they are not potty-training age.
Successful parents dole out empathy and say, “Oh, you had an accident! That’s too bad! I love you, Sweetie.” They take their time and don’t rush anything, because there’s no set timetable for potty training. Every child has his or her own unique schedule of development.
Some children potty train at two, some when they’re four, and some at every age in between. It all depends on the child. A wise parent locks in empathy and waits for kids to develop the skill on their own. Then, when a child is successful, a parent can say, “You did it! I bet that feels great!”
Unsuccessful parents have a pattern, too. When their kids make a mistake, they get upset, or angry. They say, “You messed your pants again! That’s not nice! We don’t do that! Now you better learn how to do this right! You’re going to sit here until you use the potty!”
You can guess what happens. The child sees frustrated parents, and the child gets frustrated, too. Like any task we’re expected to perform under pressure, potty training becomes an undesirable chore. What a bummer!
-END-
This is directly from Chapter Two, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. - www.loveandlogic.com
Hi A.,
Tell Dad stop being lazy, your son will be attending school soon so it is very important for him to be independant.
Leave Dad some cheerios/fruit loops in a sandwich bag. Make a sched. for your Dad to follow w/the times to take him to the potty like after breakfast, snack, lunch, etc... When it's time to potty take the cheerios/fruit loops, place them in the potty and tell your son to aim and shoot the battle ships. It will make it fun for him and he may want to go more often. It gives him something to look forward to. When it's time to do #2, you may want to reward him with praise or a small gift like a piece of candy.
Good Luck
Try getting a dvd called Potty Power (i think i bought it off ebay). But I've seen it in stores... do a search online for it. I highly recommend it... it helped my daughter along a great deal!
Good Luck!
Put cheerios in the potty and let him shoot the cheeries with his pee! Good luck, P.
we just threw out the diapers one day. Took my three yr old son to target and let him pick out all the "cool" big boy underwear he wanted and took it from there. Yes, there will be accidents but its something that has to happen. We still ues a pull up at night but he knows if he is awake and has to go potty to get up and get us.
Also for pooping, (this was hard for him, still is) he gets a treat when he goes, b/c he holds it for days and days so we kinda had to bribe him on this one. Good luck
A.,
Hi there. Sorry you're having such a hard time. Potty training is hard enough as it is let alone when a child has issues with it. My oldest was about the same way. What we did with her was to make a chart for each time she went. She would get a sticker and after a month of going regularly she was able to pick out her own prize at the store. You odn't ahve to do a month at a time, you can do a few days or what ever goal you think your child can handle to start with. I think it was the rewards that made her want to show me she could do it. After her first attempt though, we did take her out to get some big girl undies herself to help get her mind around the fact we were begining to start training. With my second we just ran out of diapers and had no income at the time to get more, so it was more of a neccessity to get it done. Besides she always wanted to do everythign her sister did too, so that made it easier. But they both really like the stickers and treats when they accomplished something. It still helps them make goals for themselves today. Good luck hon, no matter what advice you get you will find what works for you and your son.
My daughter is 3 1/2 and she took a while to potty train. She knew how to go on the potty and if I put her on she'd go, but not on her own. So I started sending her to day care in underwear, not Pull-Ups, and it's been about 4 months and she's doing well. I made a big fuss over buying big girl panties and she was excited to get princess underwear. Maybe you could get your son some Spider Man undies or something. Just don't stress. Put him in the underwear and see how it goes. Good luck!
I am a single mother of 2 girls and 8 and 3 year old and I am going through the bathroom process with my 3 year old and she is doing very well but you need to make it exciting and Dad needs to be consistent. I am having that problem with my daughters father of sometimes putting the pullups on which causes inconsistency. I have spoken with him on this and again as in one of the other comments, get him his favorite character underware, they tend to like the feeling of underwear a lot better than a pull-up. I can't stress enough taht your husband needs to be consistent in order for your son to get used to the potty. Hope some of this helps.
S.
Hate to say it, but bribery worked wonders with us & in only a few days. Good luck.
