Mom Needs Help with Potty Training!! HELP!!!

HI K.
My son is 5 1/2 and still isn't potty trained. But his school has started helping me with it. It is a SLOW process though, everyone is saying that. After training his sister, in a week's time he is difficult. My son was has ASD. I have a program here that they use with him at school, if you are interested please email me. I don't have time to type it all out.
GOOD LUCK!!!

I'm going to copy and paste my response to other parents who are going through the same thing as you are.

Check out, this, too:

http://www.learn2potty.com

Excellent tips! :-)

www.amazon.com has a ton of low price, cheap DVDs and VHS's - currently, I am watching one right now called Potty Training 101.

When It’s Time for Potty Training

There are many wonderful ways to help our kids think for themselves and help them become wiser. The following is a story about Harry, who learned, along with his family, that potty training can be fun, for both parent and child.

Little Harry lives in a house that has two bathrooms – one upstairs and one downstairs. One morning, his father said, “Hey, Harry! You want to use the upstairs potty or the downstairs potty?”
“Upstairs! Upstairs potty! Harry said.
A Love and Logic parent, his father smiled and said, “You want to have fun while we’re doing this, or not have fun?”
The great thing about choices with little kids is that they love making them – even when the options we give seem a bit silly to us. The decisions they make on their own make them feel important, leave them with a sense of control, and give them lots of chances to exercise their brains.
Harry looked at his dad as if he were crazy and giggled, “Fun! I want to have fun!”
“Great,” said his dad. “Do you want to bring a drink in with you, or do you want to wait until you’re done?”
“Wait till I’m done!”
“Do you want to bring Clarence, your stuffed sea otter, with us, or do you want to leave him?”
“Bring him!” Harry says, as he goes to retrieve his favorite stuffed playmate.
Now, Harry’s dad moves to the next step – modeling. Although some parents might find it a little embarrassing, modeling is the best way to teach your kids just about anything. Harry’s dad thinks it’s great.
“Hey! I really have to use the bathroom!” he says enthusiastically to his son. “Why don’t you come in with me? Let’s go. Let me show you how it’s done!”
He shows his son how he uses the bathroom. “This is so much fun! he laughs. “Someday when you’re big enough, I bet you’ll be able to use the potty like me! Then you can have fun, too! Boy! I love using the potty! I can even wipe myself! Check this out!” He flushes the toilet and waves, “Bye-bye!” as they look into the toilet.

The logic here is clear. Kids want to be like their parents. Whatever parents do, kids naturally want to be able to do, too. And if parents think it’s fun, kids will, too. So, parents have some choices when it comes to potty training:
• We can allow ourselves to become embarrassed and refuse to model this skill.
• We can fight with our kids over the issue and try to force them to be ready before they actually are.
• We can decide to have some fun, take the pain out of the process, and build strong relationships with our kids. How? Use lots of choices – and model, model, model!

When Parents offer choices, model, and make a task fun, learning happens quickly.

When Accidents Happen

If you know how to ride a bike, you probably remember falling a few times before finding the right balance. When we’re learning something new, accidents are bound to happen. So it is with out children when they are not potty-training age.
Successful parents dole out empathy and say, “Oh, you had an accident! That’s too bad! I love you, Sweetie.” They take their time and don’t rush anything, because there’s no set timetable for potty training. Every child has his or her own unique schedule of development.
Some children potty train at two, some when they’re four, and some at every age in between. It all depends on the child. A wise parent locks in empathy and waits for kids to develop the skill on their own. Then, when a child is successful, a parent can say, “You did it! I bet that feels great!”
Unsuccessful parents have a pattern, too. When their kids make a mistake, they get upset, or angry. They say, “You messed your pants again! That’s not nice! We don’t do that! Now you better learn how to do this right! You’re going to sit here until you use the potty!”
You can guess what happens. The child sees frustrated parents, and the child gets frustrated, too. Like any task we’re expected to perform under pressure, potty training becomes an undesirable chore. What a bummer!
-END-

This is directly from Chapter Two, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. - www.loveandlogic.com

My son is 4 and has PDD-NOS. and he is semi-potty trained.Preschool helped him alot and we are also working with him. he is like your son however he has only pooped once the day after his brother came ( this was for his dad)we are trying to get him used to going at a certain time..Like before a bath, bed in the morning.next I will be trying to see when it is most common for him to poop and trying to add this to the schedule..Try to find soemthing that works and keep with it I learned with my son doing it all at onece made him have more accidents but to slowly change his schedule was easier.Well if you find something that works let me know.

Check out "Encopresis" on the web. IT's a condition where the children hold in their bowel movements for various reasons, causing a constant cycle of constipation. My daughter age 10 still has bouts with it. I found giving her "Fiber Con" added to her food or drink helps since she isn't one to eat much food containing fiber. Check it out with the childs doctor. Hope this is of help.

Hello K., I can totally relate to your problem. My son has the same issue. Peeing in fine, no problem, been peeing in the potty for quite awhile. Pooping on the other hand has been a big problem. I too feel like he doesn't know "when" he has to go until it is too late. My son did have a bad spell with constipation when he was young. He learned to hold it because it hurt too bad to go. He got so good at holding it that we couldn't fix it naturally, but had to use a prescription stool softner. That took awhile for him to get to the point of not trying to hold it everytime he went. But we are fianlly at that point, where he is not afriad to go, but I think he doesn't know how to go, because he learned how not to go instead. Anyway.....with all that said, I have had to just make him sit on the potty every so often and "try". Sometimes he goes just a little bit, some times he doesn't go at all. But if I leave him to do it by himself, he will wait too long. So, I suggest just making him go to the bathroom every so often. If it is soft like you say, then at some he will be able to go while he is one the potty. I am still in the process, it is taking a while, but I think he is finally getting it. I have to make sure I ask him and take him often. I wish you the best, I know it sooo frustrating. Good luck.

My daughter has a lot of problems pooping on the potty as well. She is 4 and gets scared because she says it hurts her. So, she holds it and doesn't go for a week or so. The doctors suggestion was to get her to sit on the potty at a designated time each day for about 5 minutes and let gravity take effect. This is easier said then done with a toddler, but we have finally found a solution that might work for you too. Have your son sit on the potty each day after dinner time and find a toy that he thinks is interesting and tell him that the toy has a belly ache and needs his help to learn how to poop on the pooty. My daughter gets so involved in talking to the toy (who I give a funny voice to) that she forgets that she is sitting there and eventually goes potty. This may help your son to learn the feeling that you get right before you have to go. Hope I could be of some help.

E.

K.,

I'm sorry I don't have advice for you, but we do have a 10 yo son who is Autistic. I just want to wish you and your son the best of luck. Unfortunately for us, our son can't go without the help of medication.

I hope there is someone out there who can help you. I'll say a prayer for you both!

B.

Hi K.

My name is C. and i have a 13yr old daughter w/Autisim/PDD. It took alot of time and perserverience and she still has the occasional accident. I used social stories with pictures and took her on a timed schedule as they did at school. I have to say the school was fantastic at helping her along. My daughter was about 6 when she finally got the potty training down. Hang in there. If you ever need anything to talk about my email is ____@____.com

C. Fram
Cumberland RI

Its normal for an asd 5 year old to still be nappies, especially for poo's, Poos are a whole different ball game. I have just managed to get Ethan to wee in the loo or the potty (He was 5 last september), he will wear pants in the house, but will bring me a nappy to put on him when he needs a poo, or for bed, and will not go out of the house without a nappy on. It is vital not to distress them as it can cause no end of problems.
One friend of mine who has sussesfully potty trained an autistic boy, used the placing the nappy over the potty method, but that can be long winded.
See if you can get a copy of this book, its very good:
Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism & related disorders
(www.FutureHorizons-autism.com) isbn ###-###-####.
Hope this helps E. xx