My 10 month old son is into everything! I know this is a good age to start teaching the meaning of the word "No," but I don't really know the best way to go about disciplining a child his age. So far, we just say "No" in a firm tone and redirect him away from the unwanted activity. Can someone please recommend a good book about early discipline techniques?
Please read The Happiest Toddler on the Block, I used it as my guide for child number three and had a pain free toddler hood!
Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson..I think it starts around 12 months, but 10 month olds usually totally "get it". My third started discipline at 9 months, and with diligence was easy after 15 months (with most discipline between ages of 12 and 15 months). The other two started around 18 months and we had no terrible twos.
mamas talk alot about "The happiest toddler on the block" as well as "love and logic".
I personally HATE the word no. If you start out teaching NO and have that as your basis you are teaching everythign you DON"T want them to do. Which is limiting.
Instead of saying NO (which your LO will tune out soon) just re-direct him to what you WANT him to do without saying no at all.
Dr. Sears has some information about discipline for younger children. Mostly babyproofing, distraction and redirection are the big three things I suggest to my families (when nannying). "NO" can be an abstract word, so I try to always use positive redirection to point them toward what a child "can" do. (for example, instead of "no jumping on the couch" we can put the child down and show them "the couch is for sitting. Let's jump on the floor")
One book regarding early child development which I really like is "The Science of Parenting" by Margo Sunderland. Despite the title, this book is a relatively easy read and uses human brain development to support the many aspects of discipline/interaction it suggests. As a longtime preschool teacher, I found this book to be eye-opening with information regarding the 'why' behind some discipline techniques and takes a fairly authoritative parenting approach. (as opposed to 'authorative' or 'permissive' parenting) I found the suggestions to be practical and well-balanced.
For older children I highly recommend "Taking Charge: Caring Discipline that Works at Home and At School" by JoAnn Nordling. I began using this book in my work with kids about 10 years ago and have seen very positive results. This book, in a nutshell, uses Abraham Mazlov's "Staircase of Needs" (based on his Heirarchy of Needs pertaining to self-actualization) to help parents and teacher help children improve their behaviors. "As the Staircase strengthens, behavior improves" is the key idea here. I have this on my cupboard, by the way... I think this is one of the best books on mutually respectful discipline I have ever read.
With my 11-month-old, I reserve the word "no" for emergencies. If I say it for everything, the word will lose its meaning.
Honestly, for babies this age, the best discipline is redirection and distraction. For now, I know that I will have to be up and moving around all the time to help her explore the world safely.
Like I knew with my son, I know I will be able to determine when she is developmentally ready for a higher expectation with discipline.
Yes, a tad young...
My favorite have been "Magic 1-2-3"...it works so well that entire school districts in SoCAL have adopted it and tell their parents that is what they will be using in the classrooms.
Love and Logic Magic:Parenting from birth to 6 years by Jim Fay. Awesome discipline techniques that grow with your child. (www.loveandlogic.com)
HTH,
A.
I never found a book out there that spoke to the issues I had with my kids. Too much like me if I had to describe them.
I pretty much did what you are doing now. They learned what was okay, what was not.
I agree with the previous response about Dr. Sears -- he is wonderful about this kind of stuff and you don't need to buy a book, it is online.
But, as far as books go, I swear by 1-2-3 Magic. I still use the techniques and they work. The only thing is, you have to be patient, allow that child to understand the concepts, and everyone (mom, dad, other main caretakers) must be on board for it to work.
Having said that though, your kid is only a baby, so besides "no" there is not much more you can expect. True discipline will not occur until he is, from what I recall, around 15 months or so, in my experience.
