Need Suggestions on Family Situation

As a mother of three kids, 14, 8 and 3. You have to go. Like you said it wasn't between you and the grandson. The grandson still loves and cares for you. I know that is I get into a argument with my parents, I still expect them to treat with kids the same. I would go and if anything is said. Tell them you are there for the grandson. If they want to contiue the argument. Tell them a later time would be better. Good Luck and enjoy the play.

I agree with the others. One more thought: You never know when the support that you show your grandchild will somehow effect the way your son feels. He needs to know that you love and respect him no matter what your differences and one way to show that is through your grandson.

Hi L. I am also L. and a 58 year old Grandma and Great-Grandma. It is not your grandsons fault no matter what his daddy and you got into it about. Family is still family and I,m sure this will blow over. We all say and do things with our children we regret but time heals all and this too will be forgotten in time. Don,t not show up it will only drag out the I,m sorrys. I hope this helps and I will keep you up in prayer. Sincerely, L.

Grandma S,

I highly suggest going. My husband and his mother went through something simular several years ago. Unfotunately, our children did not see their grandmother (on dad's side) for a few years. They did notice that she did not go to any of their school programs or anything of the sort. They did not know that their daddy and grandma were having problems and come to find out they thought she stoped careing. I know from our experience, even if his mom would have shown up and sat somewhere else it would have meant a lot to the kids, and my husband. It would have shown that she was trying and gave him more of a reason to try. Luckily they have been on 'talking' terms for a couple years now and the kids get to visit with her a couple times a year but it was really hard for them to understand why his mom was not around when she only lived in the next town over.
Hope this helps. Good luck!

Since you are already aware that "it has nothing to do" with your grandson, I would suggest that you show up for him & be a proud Grandma! If you let the root of bitterness get hold now, you can probably expect to look forward to not being involved in your grandson's life. Suck it up, Grandma, & just plant a smile on your face & go. You have a choice whether you are going to "be sick" or not. Since it is a Church thing, I trust that the Lord will be in control of it all....if you let Him! B

Some family situations are ugly and last for a long time. But i'm afraid if you didn't go you'll only be more miserable because you'll beat yourself up for not going. I know you do not want to be in public with this but if you don't you'll not forgive yourself for that and it will only add to the already tense situation. If your son has email maybe you could email him and just say i'm sorry you feel the way you do and I don't like it but I love you and i'm going to be there Sunday to see my grandson I hope that's ok. I know sometimes we don't think situations can be worked out but maybe if we make a positive move in a negative situation, positive things will happen. We have to remember however, not to go into these situations with malice or accusotory things in our minds but with a clear open mind. I don't know your situation but I do know that sometimes those things we think are hopeless, bring about new changes that are good. I wish you well and please know that if you wish to talk further i'm here.

I would make the attempt to see his play. It's combining two things that are good reasons to set aside differences, even teporarily; those reasons being your grandson and church. Neither of them (I presume, anyhow) have anything to do with the disagreement between you and your son. If your son chooses to be ridiculous and try to make a scene, you can leave and try to explain it to your grandson later. I have a feeling you may feel regretif you don't try to go though. You don't even have to sit near or talk to your son if you choose not to, but it will mean a lot to your grandson to know you were there.

Just slip in quietly and sit in the back. Make sure your grandson knows you are there by making sure he sees you or possibly have a "I'm proud of you" card delivered to him through someone else. Deal with your son on another day at a another time. Just don't put your grandson in it in any shape.

I say go, I'm sure your grandson would love having you there. You can always work out your differences later,if you feel the need to sit somewhere else away from your son then so be it, but go for the sake of your grandson.

Some family situations are ugly and last for a long time. But i'm afraid if you didn't go you'll only be more miserable because you'll beat yourself up for not going. I know you do not want to be in public with this but if you don't you'll not forgive yourself for that and it will only add to the already tense situation. If your son has email maybe you could email him and just say i'm sorry you feel the way you do and I don't like it but I love you and i'm going to be there Sunday to see my grandson I hope that's ok. I know sometimes we don't think situations can be worked out but maybe if we make a positive move in a negative situation, positive things will happen. We have to remember however, not to go into these situations with malice or accusotory things in our minds but with a clear open mind. I don't know your situation but I do know that sometimes those things we think are hopeless, bring about new changes that are good. I wish you well and please know that if you wish to talk further i'm here.

Everyone says go, including me. I have one thing to add: If you don't go, your son will just have one more reason to be angry. He will see only that you hurt his son - not your discomfort. That will just make healing harder, and possibly give him a reason to keep your grandchild away from you.

I know it will be uncomfortable, but take the high road and feel good about doing it.

Good luck and let us hear how it went.

My family is going through a similar situation. And there are kids involved as well. Even though the adults are the ones whom have this problem, we don't try and reflect that on the kids. The kids are the ones that are innocent. Even though you and your son is going through this, don't put your grandson in the middle. I would go for the grandson. He shouldn't suffer because if this.

Yes you need to go. and you need to fix them with him. you need to do your part and ask like a adult.

Easier said than done, but, GO. It has nothing to do with your grandson and he needs to know that you love him and are there for him, even when you are disagreeing with his father.

L.,

I have to agree with the other responses go to support your grandson and just set all aside for one night. If your son starts or tries to start anything politely tell him that you are there to support your grandson and you will deal with him and the situation at hand at a later date and time and leave it at that.

Your grandson did nothing wrong. I see no sense in punishing him for something that is between you and your son.

L.,

Go to the play. If you don't want to sit next to your son, find another place to sit. Your grandson should not have to be punished because of something his dad and grandma are doing.

Good luck.

It's important that you be there to support your grandson, but maybe, if you're not ready to talk it out with your son, just sit away from him.

You really need to go. Your grandson will appreciate you being there. If your son tries to start anything, don't let it get to you and remind him that it is not the time or place for a discussion. Good luck.

Go to your grandsons play at church.

Dear Grandmom, you should go for your grandson as he may thing you did'nt to watch him in his play and if you don't want to talk to your son just say hi to the family.but please go i no me grandson would be upset .maybe in time you all can fix things . good luck from one grand mom to another

I would suggest going to the play because even if you and your son aren't getting along you are going for your grandson and showing your support for him. He would probably love to see you there.

I'd say go, its not your grandsons fault and you would be punishing him by not going. YOu dont need to act like nothing is wrong and be huggy kissy with your son, but polite and civil would be best. Especially if you feel this is going to be a long term issue, your son needs to know you can "behave" in public so that he will continue (hopefully) to invite you to your grandson's events

Hi Grandma,
I'm sure your grandson would love to see you at his play, supporting him. If you think you could make it without having a scene with your son, I would highly encourage you to do that. I'm sure your son wouldn't want to make a scene in public also. Go and say a quick hello and congratulate your grandson on a fine job done, and then head out. Good luck!

If you don't think that there will be a public confrontation that would upset your grandson, I would go. I have trouble with my son-in-law periodically and he tries to get my daughter to not let me have the grandkids, but even he realizes that the kids shouldn't be punished just because we can't get along. I would try to go and let the grandson see that you are there for him without a confrontation with your son. And hang in there - you can have major fights with your kids and they do come around! I am living proof of that! Good luck!

don't let the kids suffer from adult problems. go to the play to support your grandson, and show him the love he deserves. do what you want regarding your son, he's an adult, but don't let the child get hurt.