Sounds like the two of you had a bit of a reality check and, unfortunately for him, the reality check isn't sinking in.
#1. You're absolutely right - spending time with your baby is exponentially more important than having a clean house. A clean house doesn't nurture your daughter, a clean house doesn't discover a baby's firsts, a clean house doesn't mean more time with the child. BUT...a child who has engaged parents and loving arms will thrive more in those arms, much more so than thriving in a clean house. The baby doesn't give a hoot about a clean house. Let it go...tell your husband to let it go. If you can't, hire a maid service. Your family comes first.
#2. You're not alone. I think most, if not all, first-time parents go through some sort of transition when the family increases by 33%. I was a little stupid and naive when I was pregnant, swept up in the romantic notion that we'd have this sweet little baby who we'd look in on while peacefully sleeping, experience the joy of feeding and cuddling him, and just enjoy every minute of watching him grow. While I did experience all that, I was not prepared for the huge lifestyle change that accompanied a new baby. Things are no longer you and your husband. Things are no longer "let's go out to breakfast on a whim and linger over our coffee and pancakes". No, things are now more like "okay, what time do we need to leave the house in order to make it to this event at this time, how long will we be gone because I need to pack enough bottles/diapers/wipes, and how long is it going to take us to get all of this ready". The bottles and the laundry part blew me away at first; I mean if one of my needs isn't being met it is easy to take care of it but the baby depends on the parents so I always feel like I have to be one step ahead.
What helped me the most was sitting down with my husband and developing clear lists of responsibilities so that the work was balanced between the two of us. He was great and willing to help, but (like most men, and I don't mean this negatively) he definitely needed me to step up and provide the direction. I had to TELL him exactly what to do. Once the two of us got into a routine, it clicked along like magic and actually felt great for the two of working in a partnership to raise our child. Some examples of what we did:
-One parent puts the baby to bed; the other has to wash and make bottles for the next day. This includes prepping the bag and paperwork for daycare.
-One parent does the cooking; the other parent has to do the dishes and kitchen clean up. If you have other kitchen tasks to bundle up in the cleaning, do it! 'Clean up after dinner' in our house means wash dishes, empty trash if needed, start/empty dishwasher if needed, etc.
It took the two of you to make the baby, so it should take the two of you to raise the baby. If you want your husband to be a willing partner in this responsibility, clearly spell out what his roles can be (and, remind him that a happier mommy also makes a happier wife...) and include him on everything - I have my husband convinced that we both need to be present at bathtime (it's great because now that our son is older, bathtime is really special and fun for us!) Sometimes he might not do something exactly the way you might have wanted it done, but decide if his way of doing it is just different or detrimental to your child.
Good luck and don't feel badly because I think everyone experiences this at one time or another.