No One Has r.s.v.p'd to My Daughter's Bday Party!

I personally would call as well. My party didn't go so well. I did the RSVP thing with date and actually had people call and say they were coming. Only 3 people showed up (really close friends) no one from her school showed up that said they were coming. Only one person called to apologize. My house is kinda small so i rented a space at the park and went crazy with decorations and party planning. Im glad the really close friends showed up and my daughter didn't really care about her class not showing( that is the joy of 5 year olds)

CALL THOSE PARENTS!! They should be embarrassed! Next time include an email address to RSVP. People are much more likely to email a response than call. The phone call seems to be daunting to some people. I hope it goes well!!!!

Ohhhh how heartbreaking!!!!!
I know in my "own" experiences people can be so bad about RSVP'ing.... It's rude!
Yes, I would definitely call the kids parents to see if there child is able to come to the party...
For some reason if everyone says no, would you be able to take her on a little overnight kid trip? As a "distraction" of not having a party...
I REALLY hope the kids come.. I felt bad just reading this.. Let us know what happens :0)

Welcome to the real world. I HATE that people do not use common courtesy to RSVP yes or no. It is NOT that hard to do.

We have parties often and that is a pet peeve of mine. Especially when I am paying $20/kid and have to lock in a number 4 days in advance.

What do I do??? I call and email every parent who has not RSVP's and ask. Most of the time they are very embarrassed, apologize and RSVP.

FYI, don't expect any thank you notes either if you are getting gifts. People no longer do that either...

Maybe I'm old school but I believe in manners and teaching my daughter manners.

Well, N., I CAN believe it. People are RUDE, RUDER, and RUDEST these days! Lots of parents rsvp right before the party (day before) etc.
I would call and flat out say that you are following up on the invitation for the party, as you are planning and want to be sure to have enough food, cake, etc. If it embarrasses them, too bad! They should have responded before this. Seems like the "whole world" no longer "believes in rsvp'ing -- until THEY need to plan a party themselves! Good luck & I hope she has a fun day!

Follow up. Just say that you're finalizing the plans for the party and want to confirm whether their child is coming.

Don't take it personally. People are terrible about RSVP'ing ... they get too self-absorbed and forget. We had to follow up with a big list of people to our wedding 10 years ago, so this is a bad trend that's gone on for a while.

Good luck!

always invite the entire class. half or more won't come. when you invite a small number of kids, you risk having no one show up, especially if the word gets around class that some were invited and some weren't.
yes, do contact the parents. asap, say the things you typed here. if you get a no from everyone, cancel those plans and make a special day for your daughter, movie lunch,shopping, mani/pedi whatever.
good luck

people are SO rude. I had the same issue w/ my wedding!!! really, I had to call about half of the guest list to see if they were comming. I would deff. call them to see, you can be nice about it saying something like maybe you did not get it, maybe it got lost in the heap of papers that the school sends home in your childs backpack, maybe w/ easter you were just busy and it slipped you mind...but I just need a head count for (food, entertainment whatever). this is also a good way to chat w/ rents before the party too. good luck.

Oh gosh - so sorry to hear this is creating stress for you.

I have been guilty of not RSVP'ing on time because I didn't see the invitation in my child's book bag, or it got buried in a pile of mail. Most of the time I do RSVP, though, because I have hosted parties where people are late RSVPing and I know how stressful it is.

Last time we had a birthday party I sent out a follow-up e-mail and got a very good response. I wouldn't hesitate to call either (with the "I need to make sure we have enough food" line). Also, I recently invited younger siblings too - sometimes parents are happy to have an event that all their children can attend. That was alot of fun actually (if you can pull it off without too much stress).

As someone else mentioned, try not to take it personally. It's a broader societal issue most times now-a-days.

Good luck and congrats to your daughter!

Oh my goodness you must be a wreck but hang in there.

First of all, consider that there may have been a typo or problem in the RSVP information.

In any event, you should definitely get on the phone and call the parents. Tell them that you were concerned that there was a typo on the invite, that the envelope was small or a weird shape and got lost in the mail, that you put the wrong postage on, that you got some but not all of them back from the PO today with mangled corners, any little white lie that gets them off the hook gracefully for not having responded.

Tell them you are new to the school, the area, whatever, and that you were hoping for a chance to meet some other parents however briefly to find out how their experience has been at the school. If they still say they can't come, see if you can't right there and then schedule a one-on-one playdate for your daughter, perhaps with Mom along for the ride for a coffee...a walk in the park? A little gardening project? Make it sound fun and creative if you can.

Don't give up, think of this glitch as a little silver lining in your raincloud and try to make something good come of it, even if it's just a playdate or two.

If your daughter is painfully aware of her birthday party date and it looks like nobody or only 1-2 others are coming, change the plan and take them somewhere special, for a manicure, or out to lunch or to a movie (the new Dragon movie) so that it doesn't feel like an empty party, or if you can import some cousins on short notice, do that.

I really hope it's just the usual frantic sloppiness on the part of other parents that has caused this problem for you, and if not, that you can parlay this into a small success. Hang in there!
-- K.

People really are terrible about RSVP'ing, and it does really create a difficult situation for the party-giver.

As most of the other mom's suggested, I would DEFINITELY call or otherwise contact all the parents and express to them EXACTLY what you did in this post. I can PROMISE YOU that if I had inadvertantly neglected to RSVP to your child's party, or didn't intend on going for whatever reason, and you called and explained your situation like you did here, I GUARANTEE my child would be at your daughter's party - with bells on!!! Maybe not all mom's think this way, but I'm sure at least some do...

On the other hand, I would DEFINITELY have a PLAN B in the event that party day comes, and God forbid, no one shows. I would have a plan in place to immediately sweep your daughter off her disappointed feet, and do something totally special for her. And also plan to explain to her that it just might take a little more time for the parents you get to know you and your family before they'll be comfortable coming to your home, or something like that.

I'm sending my BEST WISHES for your precious daughter to have a REALLY SPECIAL birthday. Best of luck with the party or with whatever you decide to do...

******UPDATE********
The more I think about it, if it were me, and I had reasonable doubt a couple days before the party that no one was going to come, or if only one person says they'll come, etc., I think I'd talk with your daughter about cancelling and planning a special day with just the two of you to do something really special, maybe of her choice. That way, you won't get all prepped for the party, and then have the ultimate disappointment of no one showing. If you think no one is going to come, I think I'd just cancel ahead of time, and plan something else so it's not such a disappointment in the moment.

My daughter turned 6 in March and 3 days before the party I had only heard from 2 parents. I sent an email to those who had not responded. In the end, we heard from all but 2 of those invited so she had a good turnout.

I know it's frustrating, but yes I would follow up either by phone or email. It's possible with Easter everyone just got side tracked and forgot.

I hope your daughter has a great birthday!

I don't think it has anything to do with your daughter personally. We just went through this with my son's 5th birthday party last month. We invited his whole class (16 invites) and only 1 person RSVP'd a day after the deadline. We had arranged to go to Chick-fil-A, so I had to give them a head count for food. We had to cancel and take our family (including grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin) out to dinner and then to Chuck E. Cheese (during the big nor'easter).

Talking to other parents, I heard countless stories of inviting tons of kids, only to have people not respond and not show up. Unless your child has a few close friends whose parents are reliable, most other kids won't show up. I completely understand what you were trying to do to help her make new friends, and I commend you for it. I personally am disgusted by the lack of courtesy by not RSVPing. People being busy shouldn't be an excuse, because they would ask the same courtesy of you if they were planning the party.

I would call the parents and ask. I asked a few parents I saw after the fact, and received lots of apologies. I didn't have phone numbers to call, but if you do, you can save yourself and your daughter a lot of trouble the day of the party. You still have time to come up with Plan B for her big day if nobody is planning to show. I'm so sorry for both of you that this is happening. I hope she has a great birthday in spite of everything.

Yes, call up the parents, and tell them what you just told us. Hopefully if they are kind people, they will have their daughters go to your child's party.

I always made my kids go to parties they were invited to, for just the reason you are describing. There was a boy in my son's class who didn't really have any friends, and I would always force my son and his best friend to go to this boy's party. One year I didn't make them go, and we later found out that no one had shown up the party. Even my son felt bad about that.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there, but if these mothers are halfway nice people, they will send their kids to your daughter's party. Call them and tell them the situation.

I wanted to add, that since it is spring, many children are on team sports, take lessons and may have older siblings involved on Saturdays. It is tough to be a parent and have kids going in all different directions. On Sundays of course you have church and even more sports. so always keep that in mind when planning parties. You are new to the area, so it is harder to know what the kids are all involved with so do remember it is not always a snub when kids cannot attend. Parents should still be showing their children that they respect the social rules of cutesy and RSVP every time!

Ugh, so rude. Just call them I like the suggestions so far..

Also I do special events and we have noticed evites are responded to better than people picking up a phone.. I guess they do not like taking time to call? Anyway in the future for a childs party or casual get together go to evite.com.. It is easy to use..

Hope you all have fun!

I would call and be totally friendly and honest that you're new in town and want to be sure people know about the party and are welcome because your daughter is trying to make new friends and you haven't heard form anyone, so you're just checking in person. Be gracious and cheerful and "I don't mean to nag"-ish.
Make it a little about them and think of a nice personal comment to make on their child that your daughter may have mentioned so they don't feel like it's a big favor you're asking, but it's actually a friend of their child's. Like, "Hi, is this johnnie's mom? My daughter says johnny is so funny when he...." or something as an ice breaker.
People are seriously flaky. I got almost no rsvps to my daughter's party, and then a few the night before, but everyone came. It's sort of a formality that people don't always honor. If a new mom in the area called me about her daughter's party, I would not be offended at all and would make sure to attend if I could.

That happened to us too, last year as a matter fact. But they did start calling 2 DAYS BEFORE THE PARYT!!! Good grief, talk about stressing out. I was so ticked off but I held it in and expressed nothing but gratitude, for my son's sake. ;)

Also, my son had an invitation where I didn't rsvp either because it stayed in his desk until after the party, he forgot to take it home; so I didn't even know about it. ( I'm sure that mom was not happy with me )

Yes call them. It wouldn't hurt.

Good luck:)

N.,
I would Definitely call the parents and see if their kids will be able to make it. I would rather know before the party than to have no one show up on her actual birthday. Maybe there are other kids that u could invite in addition to her school friends to make sure there are kids for her, like neighbors, family, church kids, etc. I hope that they are able to make it and your daughter has a great time!

I would definitely call. With my daughter's fifth birthday I planned a big princess celebration, and no one rsvp-ed. I asked people to call, text, or email- so they had 3 options to rsvp- and still nothing. I figured the kids would just show up on the day of the party, but only 3-4 out of 18 or so kids came. I put a lot of time and money into the party, only to be disappointed. I've learned that if you don't hear from someone, they will not show up. After the fact, many moms apologized for not being there. It ended up being a bad weekend, as many of the kids were out of town or had sports. Had I called, I would have known to change the party to the following weekend for a much better outcome. Sometimes people need a friendly reminder, especially if you send out the invites a few weeks early. They get put in a pile & forgotten. Good luck!

It might not have anything to do with your daughter - I found people were just getting too busy. I would invite the whole class and only five come - which was fine with me, but people had other things to do. I started just taking one close friend with us out to eat at Chuck E Cheese or something - made my life easier. Good Luck

Just curious: Did you put a "RSVP by such and such date" or no?

Yep, CALL! We just had a first "friend" party for our 5 year old daughter. Nobody rsvp'd so I just called, texted, and emailed everyone. All 6 kids ended up coming. A couple were going to rsvp but didn't get around to it before I contacted them (they say.......LOL.)

And this way you can answer any questions the parents might have!

my son's birthday party is this Saturday and we invited 12 kids and I've heard from only 4 so on Wed. night I'll be calling any parents that I haven't heard from. Hope this helps

Oh no! I'm not really sure what to do in this sitch but just wanted to say that if you do call the parents, make sure the parents don't end up MAKING the kids come to the party because I think at age 10 that stuff just does not fly. It'll make the kids resentful and not be friendly with your daughter I would think. Just a thought...
Perhaps you can invite more people -- not just 7?? so there's a greater chance of kids coming?

It's totally OK for you to call and follow-up on the invitations. Like others have said, people get busy and forget to do it, thinking they have all this time and then before they know it the party is days away. Also, my mom let me in on a little known fact when I was planning my wedding... some people do not know what r.s.v.p means!! She always thought it meant to call if you are not coming!! Just a thought...

I hope that your little girl has a wonderful birthday, but worst case scenario, try not to dwell on the fact that her party is small. If no one comes, don't let it be the end of the world, maybe take her on a special mommy and me day and get makeovers together or something:)

Stop worrying and make sure she has a good party, even if it's only her family. Who's more important to her than you all? With many households needing two incomes, a lot of people just can't swing the time. Another thing, when inviting children to parties, always invite more so there's a greater chance of your guests getting close to the number you were hoping for. Just relax and enjoy her birthday, she will be only turn 10 once.

Hi, Nicole:

Call the parents.

If no one responds to the invitation. Take your party to a shelter with women and children and celebrate with them.

Good luck. D.

This happened to my oldest son but he was an annoying and hyper ADHD child. We would send invites to every single child in his class through elementary school and be lucky if 2 kids showed. He's now 23. Our now 14 year old had to be limited with invites because if a child was invited, they showed. He was popular and got along well with children. So we'd send out 6 and 6 would show with others wanting to come too, so we'd let them come too, lol.

It's hard when you're the new kid. Kids may be shy to respond, but also, do know that some parents can be lazy to rsvp! I've seen this so many times with us and other people! I'd give them a call and ask, but don't pressure. Just get a yes or no. It's the right thing for the other parents to do, but many don't. What I've learned to do is to write on the invite to rsvp with a yes OR not, and add that you need to know how many treats to buy so you MUST know either way. This helped in getting parents to reply, because some are afraid to hurt feelings if it's a no but if you're asking to know if it's a no they'll be more apt to reply.

I would have a back up plan if kids don't show, to go out or something to Chuck E Cheese or something. I would also invite other friends and family, as many as possible, neighbors, etc, so there are people around to shower her with attention. It's ok to have your daughter ask around too if anyone will come and let them know there will be treats and stuff and that it'll be a nice way to get to know each other and stuff.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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Thanks for posting this! I have been preoccupied all day due to a lack of response to my daughter's birthday invitation that went out a week ago now. We all want our children to have wonderful memories and a special birthday party where they feel loved and accepted is one of these special moments. I feel so much better reading that we're not the only ones to get a slow response from parents (because it IS the parents that don't take the time to call...). I am going to take the advice of others and send a follow-up e-mail because I can't stand the thought of waitng for an unknown number of people to come on the day of the party...will there be 2 or 10??? Hope the original mom who posted had a great party for her daughter or found another way to make her daughter feel loved on her special day. Every birthday is significant and every child is worth celebrating.