Not Sleeping All Night

Updated on May 12, 2007
C.L. asks from Redmond, WA
8 answers

Hi my daughter is 21 months and im 6 months preggo.My daughter still nurses at night and naptime which is fine but she gets up in the middle of the night and wants to nurse and she will park there for hours I dont care how long she nurses to go to sleep because it takes like 5 minutes for her to fall asleep and im open to tandem nursing.I just want her to sleep all night without waking up.The only thing i havent tried is letting her cry it out im not the biggest person on that.I guess you could call me an attachment parent.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

My son woke up to nurse until he was 3. I never had the energy to listen to him crying. Since you're going to tandem nurse and the baby is going to be up, does it matter if you wean at night? If you still choose too, you can say that nursing is for the tiny babies, wear a really tight shirt to bed and refuse to nurse. It takes about 3-4 days until they really get the idea that you're sticking with it. Another idea is to have your husband sleep with your daughter in a separate room for a couple of nights (if you co-sleep). That way you won't be there to ask. Some kids are very determined to keep nursing though. I weaned my son just after three and sometimes he still asks to nurse (2 months later!). Your daughter also might be thirsty in the middle of the night, so you could give her some milk (or whatever) for a while. :)

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M.Y.

answers from Spokane on

Hi C..
I just recommended a book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley to another mandother on mamasource...she has some great tips and strategies for helping toddlers through nighttime issues (and she's very AP friendly!).
I was able to night wean my son when he was around 15 months old. I started out by not letting him nurse before 2-3 AM; he'd get in bed with us and cuddle, and there was some fussing some nights, but I had read a Dr. Sears quote that I love and applied it here: "Crying in the arms of a parent is NOT crying it out." That kinda made me feel better! Anyhow, it only took a couple times of this before he figured it out and wouldn't wake up to nurse until much later (wait, earlier?!) in the morning. Then I dropped that last night feeding (around 5 AM) the same way. However, he didn't sleep through the night until we moved him into his own room, when he was 17 mo old. So if you're cosleeping, night weaning could be a little harder, but the Pantley book actually has a section on night weaning/cosleeping.
Good luck! I'm 5 mo pregnant and had planned on tandem nursing if my son wanted but then he self weaned about 4 weeks--guess the milk wasn't to his liking anymore!

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J.E.

answers from Seattle on

Whatever you do, if you're going to start the crying it out thing, or whatever method you choose- do NOT wait until that baby is born. Your daughter will blame the baby.

At this point she's only doing it out of habit, not need. I weaned my dd off "comfort nursing" at 24 months, and I started by still allowing her in my bed but no nursing at night. Before long once she learned she wasn't going to get it, she started not getting up.

Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Seattle on

My son did not sleep through the night until I quit nursing im completely. It got to the point that the middle of the night and right before bed were the only times he would do it. I know how it is to just listen to them cry it out. I don't know if I could have done it without my mother (I lived with her at the time). When my son woke up and wanted to nurse, my mother would sit with him and offer him a cup of water while I left the room...that eased the stress on all parties involved! If you decide it's time to wean (I would think being 6 months preggo it would be a good idea anyway because of the new baby) you might ask your hubby (or boyfriend as the case may be) sit up with your daughter until she falls asleep so you can be in a different room. The first night is the most difficult. I think when I weaned my son, it only took 2 or 3 nights before he got the idea and slept through the night. Good luck!

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

Maybe just start by letting her nurse and as soon as she stops you put her back to bed so the time she's in bed with you is shorter and shorter. That may be the least painful way to stop that. Then explain that she's a big girl now, and maybe make a calendar with the nights and give her a sticker for every night she sleeps through and give her a reward after a week or a month - your choice.

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S.R.

answers from Seattle on

If you want your baby to stop running your life then you just have to stop letting her do it. I know alot of parents think its better and their babies are happier with the closer attachment but in the long run they will be happier when they know how to go to sleep on their own. I have a friend that has 3 kids that still all have to sleep with them all night and they never get a break cause they just never let go and then me on the other hand puts my kids to bed at 8 at night and they don't bug me until 7-8 the next morning. Its hard to hear them cry but they won't remember it when they are older anyways and the peace it will create in your life is so worth it :).

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

I feel for you! My son didnt start sleeping through the night consistantly until 2 months before my daughter was born! I was praying like crazy because I knew I couldnt do 2 babies up all night. I never let my babies sleep in my bed after about5 months and it has saved us alot of problems. We have a bedtime routine that involves lots of snuggles and stories and for midnight nightmares I will sit and sooth, do back rubs etc. And even moved to a mattress on the floor in his room when my son wouldnt sleep for more then 2 hours at a time. I think my children and I are alot better off because we are all more rested (if youre not sleeping because they are up neither are they) and I dont have the whole crawling into bed with mom thing because they honestly dont even think of it (moms bed is for jumping and roughousing on). I would ask your pediatrician about tandem nursing too, I dont know much but I do know your milk changes with your baby, though I am very pro nursing and am upset my children werent as excited about it as I was. OH, I was going to say, I found that just delaying my response to the crying in the middle of the night by a few minutes at a time (but not more then 10min) gave them the chance to self sooth and though it took longer then crying it out it did work (of course we still have the occational bad night) Good luck and congrats. Jen

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T.W.

answers from Medford on

She won't sleep through the night until she is weaned it is a comfort thing instead of nursing her maybe give her a glass of water. I have read that they will self wean in the last trimester of your preg. because the milk will dry up or taste funny to them so if I were you I would just let it go and see what she does otherwise you can try keeping a cup of water next to the bed and give her that when she wakes.

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