Boundary time!
(Oh boy, I haven't gotten to say this in a while)
Babies have needs
Toddlers have wants
Adults have agendas
Now, that goes backwards, but not forwars (Adults also have wants and needs in addition to agendas, toddlers have wants and needs... but not agendas, babies purely have needs).
It's a difficult transition for PARENTS , esp if it's an activity (like nursing) that you've done since infancy.
The bra and breast thing is a WANT. Well, we don't always get what we want. (oh gosh, a song just sprang to mind). Learning how do deal with thwarted wants is the DEFINING characteristic of toddler years.
Consider it like hair pulling (doesn't matter how shiny and pretty and how much they WANT to pull the shiny pretty hair), or hitting (doesn't matter how much they WANT to hit. You tell them "No." and you don't let them do it.
YES THEY WILL CRY. And be mad. That's normal, natural, and in some cases WANTED.
When you tell her no, and she keeps doing something, and you remove her from the situation, you WANT tears. It's the beginning of empathy. She equates feeling bad with doing something wrong. Children who are ALWAYS KEPT HAPPY either DON'T do anything wrong, or the on't THINK they've done anything wrong. Shudder. She SHOULD be upset when she's in trouble. Again, that's the beginning of empathy, and listening, and learning about cause and effect, and so much more.
In the beginning DO give chances. But after 2 or 3... it turns from learning to listen/control impulses into a game. Go with your gut. Game = finis. Not listening = finis. Throwing a fit =s NOT getting what you want.
((Big hint: Don't give into fits. EVER. Every time you do guarantees 2 things: About 3-7 months of MORE fits, and setting the 'timer' on the next one. Meaning if you hold out 10 min, the next one they won't even think of stopping until 15. 30/40. 60/90. Kids AND adults are hard wired for "random reward". Random rewards guarantee the behavior and MORE (time & intensity) for months. It's the foundation of gambling in adults and the kid who will scream themselves sick until they get what they want. Don't cave. If you feel like you're going to cave LEAVE. Put them in their crib, or carseat and take a timeout for BOTH of you. They DO NOT earn the reward from stopping the fit. They earn out of the crib or seat.
There's a bunch of rhymes and for both parents (more fore stressed parents, i think) and kids.
2
If you throw a fit you do NOT get what you want.
&
You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit!