Nursing My Older Baby

First off, do what is best for you and Bianca!

I nursed my oldest (now 4)until she was 22 months old. We pressed past several "close to stopping" moments that first year, but I pressed on as it was very important to me (I had allergies as a child and my hubby as an adult). Heidi ended up weaning herself in the end which absolutely broke my heart as I loved doing it. She has been pretty healthy outside of a few ear infections (I had several and tubes as a child, so no surprise). She didn't take a bottle either...we went straight to a sippy cup when that time came and it still did not interfere with nursing. However, I didn't have the issue of her pulling on my shirt or pointing or calling my breasts any particular name :)

We are now pregnant with twin girls and due in the next 2 weeks (scheduled C on Feb 13th). I plan to nurse them for atleast 1 year as well (I am very pig headed about this as it is very important to BF over formula). We'll see how it goes :)

I don't know about nursing til 5 as I haven't met anyone that has nursed that long, but wow, they are troopers!

I have to say, I am so impressed with so many moms nursing so long! What wonderful gifts to those children! And the fact that no one has made any rude comments is wonderful, too. A., how wonderful for both you and your dd to still be nursing. You are both getting SO many health benefits, which will continue for a long time, even after weaning. I nursed all 3 of my kids, the longest was 21 mos. I let my 2 younger children self wean, but I encouraged my last to wean at 21 mos. We were going through some possible health issues and all her docs recommended weaning. I listened and regret it so much now. I highly recommend letting your dd self wean, when she is ready. Like others have said, as long as both you and your dd are happy, why quit. It isn't like the day a baby turns 12 mos, or 18 mos, or 3, or any age, it all of a sudden becomes wrong. It is what you have been doing since the day she is born, so it is what comes naturally and there is no right or wrong time to stop and no magical day that makes it all seem wrong. I would work on a better way for her to ask to nurse, as others have suggested. You can also only nurse at home, but I have mixed feelings about that one. You should not have to hide in your house when you nurse your older baby/child. The more the general public sees moms nursing older babies/children, the more "normal" it will seem. But if it makes you uncomfortable or causes behavior issues, I would keep it for something special at home, when it is just you and your dd. She will catch on to that one pretty fast. She will continue to get nutritional benefits, even beyond a year. And you both will get such great health benefits. You two will enjoy that special bonding time. I don't see any reason to quit until one or both of you want to. Good for you and keep it up!
S.
mom of 3 and daycare provider for 20+ yrs.

Bravo! I think it's wonderful that you're planning on nursing longer than the typical American average. I plan on nursing to about 24 mos. or so. I realize that I'll run into the same situation that you're experiencing now which is that I'll have to deal with him asking for "booby" in public. I have a feeling that those situations won't happen too often and even when they do, it's not like there will be people within earshot. Family gatherings may be the most embarrassing. Anyway, once he's that age, I figure we'll either save the nursing time until we're at home and meanwhile he will just have to deal with a gentle reminder from me that we can have "booby" when we get home.

Mothering magazine just did a touching article about a 3 year old girl who resumed nursing after being weaned 6 months earlier due to some feelings of insecurity after a younger sibling came along. It's a great story. It's a bi-monthly publication and it was the most recent issue, so you may be able to find it at Barnes & Noble or something.

I just recently found out that my own mother tried to nurse all three of us girls until we were 2. She got just about that far with all of us. That was back in the 70's and 80's when I'm sure it was even more socially unacceptable. People used to tease her and say, "That kid is going to have to come home for lunch when she's in kindergarten!" Oh well, that's how closed-minded people can be sometimes. I have a deep respect for you for wanting to continue breastfeeding. 13 months and even 18 months is definitely not too long to nurse. :)

It took me a long time to read all of those responses! I just wanted to add our little story. Our son is 2 years and 3 months and still nurses very frequently. He asks for it throughout the day and night (we co-sleep) and I only deny him occasionally when the moment is not conducive. We even nurse some in public, still, and although I have gotten some unsolicited advice, it does not change the fact that we mutually want to continue the nursing partnership. I wanted to make it one year and then when he did not want to wean, I thought I'd go for 18 months, then two years (per WHO recommendation) and then go from there. He still does not want to wean. I do hope he leads the weaning process before we get pregnant again, but I'm not pushing it yet. If I have to lead the process, I may start it in the next couple of months, but nursing has such amazing benefits for both mother and child - I just found out that prebiotics - a relatively new term hailed as important for your colon's health and found in plant sources are naturally present in breastmilk - along with a plethora of other things such as antibodies for immune system, and fatty acids for brain development, etc.... I learn stuff all the time about how wonderful breast milk is, and the nutritional value certainly does not stop after one year. Our food and drink cannot compare with what breastmilk has in it. Our son drinks from sippy cups and open cups quite well and has for a while now. Drinking from a big cup did not seem to make a dent in his desire to nurse. I nursed him exclusively for about 9 months - he didn't want anything else. He is a very verbal, very smart, and very happy two year old. I would never judge anyone else for nursing or not nursing or even how long someone nursed their children, and I just wish people would be that courteous to others as well. Most of the responses you received alluded to that fact also, and I do hope that you are able to do what is best for you and your child (and only you and your child can decide that), and that you have peace with whatever decision you make.

Congrats on your beautiful daughter and kudos to you for breastfeeding! I breastfed my son until he was two. (He's just turning three.) I was able to stay at home with him for the first six months and then pumped after I went back to work 1/2 time.

By about 18 months, when he was eating a lot of foods and drinking cow's and rice milk, we cut back to just nursing at home. (Did this slowly by cutting out one feeding at a time.) Over the next few months we went to just nursing before naps and bedtime. Right around age two he pretty much just weaned himself. It helped that he had moved from co-sleeping with us (also very controversial! but it was great for our family) to a toddler bed in his own room and that his Papa and I traded off bedtime duties, so he could fall asleep with out "nursies".

He's a little on the small end of the scale for his age, so we didn't get some of the stares or comments that my friends with bigger than average kids did. But he did sign and talk pretty early and would tell me when he wanted to nurse, which some people apparently seem to find a little off-putting. Too bad. Why is that any wierder than asking for a bottle? Our culture makes such a big deal about boobs! You see them barely covered on beaches and tv all the time but when we try to use them to feed our kids people are offended? Nutty.

Almost all of my friends breastfed, so I had a lot of support. (Although not from my family, who are unfortunately from the "ew, yuck" crowd.) Some of my friends breastfed 6-9 months, most did a year and several did 2 or 3 years. And a couple even tandem nursed their toddlers after having new infants.

Not to go on and on, but although I was definitely ready to wean by age two - wanting a little more "me" space and separation; I also wanted him to lead the process. It's such a healthy, comforting thing and I don't think that kids can be too old. In a lot of countries kids are breastfed until 4, 5 or even 6 years. For nutritional and economic reasons surely, but also because they don't make it "gross" like our supposedly liberal society does.

But mostly you need to figure out what's right for you and your child and try to find friends/groups to support you. Everyone else should just mind their own bees wax:)

best wishes,
R.

I have nursed my 4 babies between 15 and 27 months. I had no problems with weaning when it was time. Most of them self weaned when I became pregnant again. My last child nursed 27 months. If you feel uncomfortable with her actions concerning her boo boo, you can make rules like no boo boo unless you are home, or no boo boo until bed time.

I would say go for it. And enjoy it well it lasts.

R. (mom of 5, but last one is only 7 months so I didn't count her nursing).

I don't have anything new to add, but just wanted to say - good for you! :) Especially if your friends don't nurse - that's great that you've gotten this far without a support system. :) I'm still nursing my 32 month son (mainly as part of naptime & bedtime routine) and my 7 month old (on demand, although she's eating a bit of solid food now too)

If you're interested, theres LLL meetings, as has been suggested; there also might be a yahoo group you could join too. If you're interested in attachment parenting (which includes extended nursing), you could look into that - I'm part of the milwaukeeapmoms group...it's a nice way to get advice & support too.

Anyway, again - good for you! :)

"How old is too old to nurse?"

Wow. You are going to get about 1,000 responses to your request.

I took a breastfeeding class when I was pregnant, and we talked about breastfeeding here in the U.S., and then also worldwide. In the U.S., the average breastfed baby is breastfed until 3 months old. Worldwide, it's over 4 years old! Quite the difference. Oh, and the WHO recommends breastfeeding until age 2.

The La Leche League says something to the effect of "Breastfeed as long as it's mutually enjoyable". I'm paraphrasing here, but the LLL's take is that if both you AND the child want to breastfeed, go for as long as your heart's desire.

All that being said, we do live in the U.S., and for better or worse, we do have social norms here. I breastfed my son until he was 4 months old, and he got breastmilk until he was 6 months old. I planned to give him breastmilk until he was 1 year old, but, alas, the best laid plans....

My son is 13 months old, and quite frankly, the thought of nursing him today creeps me out. I'm not a prude, I don't sexualize breastfeeding, but for me, uh, no way. Nuh-uh.

However, I've seen other people nurse their older babies and I didn't feel squeamish. And quite frankly, I don't get worked up about what happens at other people's houses.

So you want to nurse until 18 months. Go for it, but know that you will have to endure your daughter lifting up your shirt and pointing out your breasts. You have to weigh the benefits of her receiving breastmilk with your embarassment. There's no "right" answer here, just the "best" one for you.

Good luck, and just remember that *any* breastmilk you give your child is a-w-e-s-o-m-e, and congrats on making it to 13 months!

I don't think 13 months is too old at all to keep nursing. I nursed my daughter until she was 15 months old. She kind of just weened her self. I am so impressed that you are nursing, even when none of your friends breastfed. Good Job! It is so healthy for those babies. My advise would be to not worry about what others think and to keep nursing her until you both feel that it is a good time to stop.

Hi A.! I'm still nursing my 17 month old and plan to continue until she's ready to wean. She only nurses 1st thing in the morning (I go get her from her crib, bring her into my bed, and she nurses for 1/2 hour), and last thing at night in her rocking chair. I really cherish this time with her and she clearly needs this special time with mommy, so I'm willing to keep it up as long as she wants (or I guess when I get fed up!). It was REALLY handy this past weekend when we flew to CA, it was the only thing that calmed her down and helped her fall asleep on the flight.

My suggestion to you is to consider nursing only in mornings and at bedtimes, if you hit the point when you're no longer willing to nurse in public. It's been a good compromise for me.

I have 3 kids and nursed them all. In my experience the interest will gradually wane. I am still nursing my 19 month old and plan to do it as long as he wants. I don't do it on demand outside the home anymore. It's pretty much down to morning, nap time and bed time, and some other times irregularly, mostly at home.
People have different ideas about breastfeeding and those who never did it have no idea about the bond that develops between mother and child. They bond in a different way, and it is fine. My point is, you hopefully would not walk up to a woman bottle feeding and say, "when are you going to stop that and start her on a sippy cup?" or "why did you choose not to nurse?" Yet people may question what you are doing when you breastfeed.
People I know have breast fed until 3 years old, but the mom was sick of it. In my opinion, if you are getting sick of it, it may be time to stop. But if you still love it, why stop? There's no hard and fast rule. Don't let other people, or your thoughts about what others think, determine your choices in this matter. When it's warm again and we start going to the park and my baby is 2, I may still nurse him sometimes. Then again, he'll probably just want to play. However, I would not choose to nurse until my kid was 18, as I heard about someone doing in England...not sure if that was true. But when I was in Ecuador, I did know an 8-year old who would still get "teta" from his mom. I think we have a hang-up in our society...Some frown on breastfeeding, yet we have Hooters, bikinis, wet t-shirt contests and high fashion clothes that look like underwear. We glorify the sexiness of the female body but when it comes time for functionality and its design we get all shy and embarrassed. Off my soapbox! Nurse as long as you want! Be discreet...and kind to those who can't or won't understand--they're living a different life.
A

I nursed my oldest until 3 1/2 and my youngest to 2 1/2. In the end, it was just at nighttime, but yes, for awhile I was nursing two at once. and the youngest quit on his own once his brother was done.

So, I know I have appalled some people, but let me explain. I was going on the theory that he would stop on his own, because that's what the books all said and all my friends told me. Well, it wasn't happening, so at 3 1/2, I told him that there was no more milk on his side and he just needed to cuddle me to sleep. Now, fast forward, and now my son is diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and Mild Autism, AND I am assured that the reason he is doing so well is because of all the alternative parenting things that I did for him, like allowing him to nurse beyond what is socially acceptable. Of course, this is also the reason that no one noticed a problem and would do anything for him. I compensated and trusted my gut.

So, as always, I say, trust your gut and be the best parent you know how to be. Ask for advice, but take the advice that works for you.

I see you've gotten a lot of great responses, but thought I'd offer mine as well.

My children have all nursed past a year...until they wanted to stop. With my son, he was 15 months and a day old and he woke in the morning, I took him to the chair we always nurse in, and he didn't want to eat. I tried again the next time, and he got down...he had decided that day that he was done. My daughter did the same thing at 16 months.

If you don't mind nursing, I'd let your child dictate when to finish. If you're not giving her whole milk from a sippy cup, you should start...and I'm sure she'll ween herself soon...when she realizes she can drink milk and walk around and play when she wants.

Best of luck and congratulations on nursing to a year! What a great gift to your daughter!

BEAUTIFUL JOB A.!!!!!
i nursed my son until he self weaned at 19 months. he was down to 2 nursings a day, and then we went on vacation for 5 days or so, and with being in the car, and in a hotel, and doing the wedding and all of that, he just didnt have time. i used dont ask dont refuse for a long time.
and actually, when he weaned, i was disappointed!
one of the things we did, which might be helpful, is we taught our son to ask by using sign language. it might be a bit late at this point - but it is possible that you can start using sign language too. the sign for milk is opening and closing your hand, sorta to resemble what you would do if you milked a cow. sounds rediculous, but thats what it is! :D
anyway,
try that.
i do believe it is a very small amount of kids who continue nursing to 5. even 3 is a stretch in my opinion. there are definatly those who do it, but i think with size, and the increasing size of the child, and the skills that they are learning which distract them from nursing, you shouldnt have any trouble letting the relationship end naturally by age 2. :D remember, dont ask. dont offer to nurse. dont refuse, if she does ask, do your best to accomodate. since she is over a year old, you can also try to distract her. i guess i wouldnt let her nurse for pulling down your shirt, stop her and tell her to use the sign, show her the sign while saying your word for nursing. its kinda like teaching her to say please. in order for her to nurse, she has to say please, do the sign you know? that should help her stop pulling the shirt.

anyway.
i want to encourage you! this is a good thing to nurse for an extended period of time. :D if you havent already, go to www.llli.org and search for a la leche group in your area. might not be one in your exact town but try looking in a neighboring town! :D there might be moms like you who can help you! :D
www.askdrsears.com is a good resource too. you might already know about him though! :D
awesome job A.. really. :D

hey A.,
i nursed my three and a half year old until she was two and a half.....the thing that stopped us was the birth of her younger sister who now needed momma's milk.
a few factors are:
i didn't produce enough milk from the beginning so she was always supplemented by bottle
during the pregnancy i hardly produced milk; i was just the human pacifier
she used nursing to go to sleep; from the time she turned 11/2 till we stopped she only nursed at naptime and bedtime
so, i recommend stopping when you want....
it sounds like she can fall asleep on her own so that is a huge plus!!
also, i taught her my breasts were 'mammas' because only a momma can have 'mommas' and i anticipated the public embarrasment thing.
you know, after a year and a half i suspect the child only nurses to feel close to mom- not nutrition.
find a special thing that the two of you only do that can replace the nursing.....
btw- my second daughter stopped nursing at three months-because of a med i had to start taking. she is very healthy and we love that she falls asleep on her own.
i feel i bonded just as well with her and want to encourage you to not believe all the hype associated with nursing being necessary for the baby's bond to be strong.
becky

I think it is time to stop when either mom or baby/toddler/child is no longer comfortable with it. There are health benefits for both of you, and they don't stop at some magic age. My oldest was ready to quit at a year, and I was ready to let her. The baby is 7.5 months, and we'll nurse for a year, and then see how it goes from there. Other people don't get to have an opinion on the subject.

A.,

Our society is a little weird about nursing. We push it at the beginning to the point that moms feel guilty and neglectful if they don't nurse their newborns, but the people I know who nurse past a year did it in secret because they were worried what others would think or say. In many parts of the world, it is totally normal to nurse to age 3. It may have a lot to do with lack of access to birth control, I don't know. (I am not suggesting it's a good idea to do it in the U.S., just trying to put it in a global perspective.)

My friends who nursed their 1 year olds and weaned before age 2 had a similar weaning experience to those who nursed 8-12 months and stopped. I only had one friend nurse to age 3 - child had down syndrome and a lot of medical issues, so it was kind of a special case.

My only experience listening to moms who weaned older children (age 3-9) is what I have seen on television, so my experience is skewed. For what it's worth, those were the moms complaining that it was a major power struggle. If you want to keep nursing another 6-12 months, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Will people gawk and complain; of course they will. But if you stop, people will just find something else to criticize about. It's just part of parenting in the 21st century. You have to do what is right for your family and not worry about what everyone thinks.

Good luck,
S.

My daughter is 26 months and just stopped nursing a week ago. I decided to wean only because I have a business trip coming up next week. I quit pumping at work when she was 12 months old but let her nurse whenever she wanted when I was around until she was 18 months. At that point I limited her to three times a day - as soon as I picked her up from day care, before bed, and in the morning. I did this both because her pediatrician indicated that she probably shouldn't nurse more than three times a day and because she was too squirmy when she nursed to be discreet. She would occasionally ask for 'boo' when we were out and about, but I would remind her that it was something we did at home and she learned to accept it after about a week. Toward the end, she was only nursing once a day - either at night or in the morning and I was just able to one day say, that's it - you're a big girl now. She complained a couple of times, but in all she did much better with weaning than I expected. I think it's great that you're still nursing - some will think it's odd, but don't let them discourage you. The World Health Organization recommends nursing for 2 years and as long as you are both still interested in it you should keep going for as long as you both want.

Hi A.,
I nursed my son until he was 4 3/4 years old. He never asked in public mostly cause he was just to busy. It got so he mostly just wanted to nurse in the middle of the night, we did family bed. I just wore a long shirt that he couldn't pull up when I was half a asleep. He wimpered a bit and then just cuddled up to me. It took two nights. Nursing was an excellent comforting tool. He did try to wean himself once when he was 2 and 2months. I was laid of from my job because my company I'd worked for 15 years closed down. He stopped cold turkey for 2 1/2 days, which was painful physically and a hormone change cause fragile emotions to fly a bit. He then just started up again. I enjoyed the bonding. It's like your doctor says it's good for her. If someone else has a problem with it, it's really there problem not yours. It is a little tricker to be discreet with a larger child. Do they have a La Leche League in your area? ask your doctor if they don't she might be able to find you one. La Leche League Mother-to-Mother Forums
This is a discussion forum for mother-to-mother breastfeeding support sponsored by La Leche League International, www.lalecheleague.org.
forums.llli.org/ - 58k - Cached - Similar pages
Glad I could be of some help A., keep nursing if it good for both of you!
Sincerely,
S.
Home school mom and business owner with Melaleuca.
good luck with your degree A.

I nursed my son until he was 15 months old. I would have gone longer, but I found out I was expecting again just before he turned 1! I was still comfortable, but I stopped so that when my belly started getting bigger I wouldn't be too uncomfortable, and I wanted there to be some space between his weaning and my nursing again so that he wouldn't want to jump back on the wagon! ;) Bf-ing went really well for us, and I have noticed that he gets sick more often now, which takes more time to manage than nursing ever did--albeit sporadically! I dreaded weaning, because I thought it would be really hard on him, but he was a champ! I was shocked at how easy it was for us! He still cuddles a lot and is well attached. He does put his hands down my shirt now and then, but I think it is either to warm them up or just for the closeness, because he is not trying to expose my breasts, just touch them. Kind of weird, but also not an every day thing, so I guess he'll outgrow it--I do ask him not to.

My son is almost 9 months and I am still nursing him. I don't plan on doing it anymore when he turns 10 or 11 months. The American Pediatric Association says that there is no nutritional value in nursing after a year because the child can get all the vitamins and nutrients from whole milk and the solid food that are being eaten. It's a personal choice, of course, but I always said that if my child was big enough to crawl in my lap and life up my shirt to get it out or to tell me in words that he wants to nurse then he was too old. Something to me just seems odd when you see a mother who is nursing a child who is old enough to walk. It's a very personal decision tho, and don't let any of the other moms on here try to make you feel guilty one way or the other, because many probably will. Keep you head up and go with your heart, it'll always lead you in the right direction. Good luck!

I nursed my daughter until she was 18 months. I would have nursed longer but I was pregnant with my son and it hurt. We weaned in a weekend. We weaned cold turkey, since I nurse on demand, and it went well. I just completely distanced myself and let daddy take care of all her needs. My son turned 1 on Friday, and we are still nursing. I will let him decide when it is time to stop. We will have to wean the same way because he also nurses on demand. Good luck, and look into a La Leche League in the area, they are very knowledgeable!

Hi A.,
You've gotten a ton of responses already, so I'll keep this super short but I just wanted to recommend the book "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" by Norma Jane Bumgarner. It has a TON of great information about the ongoing benefits of nursing, as well as how to make nursing continue to work for you AND your daughter, and some weaning strategies for whenever you're ready.
Sara

You have recieved many great responses thus far but of course I will add my input. I breastfed my son until he was 3 months old as I returned to work. I still pumped but that didn't last long. I dont think there is a right or wrong time. Go with what you feel is the best. Stop when you or your child are ready to stop. Its good for him and your wellbeing in my opinion but again this is just my opinion. I agree with the 18 month mark personall and had hoped to breastfeed my son until he was a year old. Do what you think is best for your child and I am sure you will have no regrets. I know I didn't for the short time I was able to breastfeed even though I had wanted more. Best wishes!

My baby is 2 years and 4 months old and still nurses am, nap, pm and sometimes wants it 1-2 times more. I think it may become more of a comfort/habit thing and is harder to break.

My daughter will ask me for them when we lay down for bed or sometimes when my chest is exposed. She has asked for them at church when I had her in a strattle position hugging her. I just asked her that now is not the place for that and she'll have some later. I think it was the position that made her think that it's "bee bee" time. She's pulled down and up my shirt at home but that's been replaced with her tapping them and saying, "bee bee".

I don't see anything wrong with breastfeeding as long as it's not forced either direction. I'm more of a person to bend to do it for the sake of my child even though I might not like it anymore. I'd still do it until she's ready. I think it's not the business of others what you choose to do. Just say it's your decision as her mother and she's okay with it and I'm okay with it so I don't see the big deal and neither does her doctor. My husband has made comments about her age and I carry on with my business. I tell him that she likes it and I'm okay with it and believe in self weaning. She'll stop when she's ready. It's not like I'm whipping it out everywhere. I leave it to am, nap, pm and if we're at home more. I used to go to a dressing room but that stopped before she was 2.

I commend you for going as long as you have and I don't think it's an age thing as much as what she needs. She seeks comfort and love from it and there's nothing wrong with that. I had thoughts that I'd stop by 3 because it would seem gross but doing it since birth day in and day out makes it just seem normal to keep doing it. It's done in private so who cares how old. I hope she stops before age 4 because I don't want to be the one to stop it. I think it's harder on the mother than child. I've asked her if she wanted to stop and she says no. She'll go on for 30 seconds and want the other side and I tell her that if she doesn't go on long milky will dry up and there will be no more. I ask if she'll be okay with milky going bye-bye and if not she needs to go on longer and she chooses to go on longer.

I can give a rats behind what people think about what I'm doing. It's not their decison to make nor will I bend to what society thinks as a whole on how long I should give my daughter my God given gift.

When my youngest was born my oldest was 25 months and curious about my milk so I offered it to her and I felt really weird about it. She never went on because it was odd for her too I think. There's a difference if you do it from birth on up to offering it to a child who hasn't had any for 16 months.

Good luck in what you decide. My oldest stopped cold turkey at 9 months when she caught a cold so I can't offer advise on weaning.

I nursed my first two babies (both boys)until 1 yr and then started weening 1 feeding away each week. With my second though, I did spread out the last feeding or two a little longer than a week cuz I knew we would miss it. My first was completely done by 13 months and my second I believe was 13 1/2 months. I am on my third child (girl) and plan on doing the same. I love nursing. I would do it until 2 yrs if doctors and society thought that was necessary and normal. I think 2 yrs is a bit long since 1 yr is the time baby really needs it.

I don't have much of a problem with up to 2 yrs. I think 3 or more years is odd and I think the child would feel weird when she/he grows up knowing that.

About me: I had my first child (son) at 20 yrs and was still in college, then my second at 23 1/2 yrs and graduated 3 months before he was born. I just had my daughter this past year at 27 1/2 yrs old and she is 7 months old tomorrow. I am a stay-at-home mom and loving it!

Edited to add I want to debunk what a few have said about there being no nursing benefits after a year. THAT IS NOT TRUE! Its not like the nutrients, fat, and antibiodies just shut off the minute your baby turns a year old! Thats such old wives tales its not even funny! Please do some research before answering.... and that doesn't mean reading 'what to expect....' books. Look up the World Health Org (WHO), La Leche League, AAP... all have breastfeeding recommendations of at least a year and as long as mutually desired beyond a year, and the WHO says to age 2 and beyond as long as mutually desired. Toddlers still greatly benefit from the fat, antibodies, and nutrients in breastmilk. breastmilk never loses its power, it grows and changes to match what the baby, toddler, preschooler's body needs.

First off, of a nursing mom of a toddler, you are goin to have to learn to just tune out the world. TRUST ME on this one. you will get reactions from 'oh you are still nursing?" to 'OMG HOW GROSS YOU ARE STILL NURSING EW!' (I got that reaction from my aunt for crying out loud!)

It really hurt my feelings at first, and I looked at my little boy and thought 'but you are still young, eating well, sleeping well, healthy.... why stop?' and it was my MOM of all people who told me if he's good with it, and I'm good with it, then forget everyone else! She never nursed us, but she was very supportive of me nursing. Plus my husband who pretty much had a 'screw what everyone else thinks' attitude.

ANYWAY, my point is, too old is when you or your toddler wants to stop. She sounds like a wonderful little girl, eating and sleeping well, and it sounds like you are not ready to stop either.

Start right today with teaching her some nursing manners. When she pulls your shirt, you take her hand and pull it off you and say 'thats not nice. Do you want milk?' and teach her the sign for milk, which is a hand in the air and squeezing together. Do the sign while saying 'milk? Milk?' and she will pick it up very quickly. If its not a nursing time, then say 'do you want a drink?' and do the sign for drink (looks like your hand holding a cup, pouring it out) and repeat 'Drink? Drink?' while doing the sign.

You won't be nursing a 5yr old if you don't want to, however there is nothing wrong with nursing as long as you wish. My oldest was done right around a year. My youngest was about 20mos when he weaned, and it was when I had hurt my back and I had some pain pills I didn't want him to have through my milk, I didnt nurse him for a week straight (he was morning and bedtime at that point) and when the pills were out of my system, he just didn't have any interest, we were done. No big deal.

I think the key is, when the time comes, to wean slowly. don't just wake up one day when she is 18mos old and say 'k we are weaning today' because it WILL be a battle then. Slowly take down one nursing at a time, and when you have one left, hang out with that one for a while, then let it go.

I think you are doing great, and I don't think you want to stop yet. Reading your post, I think both you and your baby are still benefitting from it. She is still getting very very important antibodies from your milk, and that is essential, especially this time of year. your milk is high fat, and that fat isn't 'go to the thighs' fat, its go to the brain and help it grow and learn fat. The less she nurses, hte more concentrated your milk becomes, so even if she only nurses for 10 minutes a day, she is getting alot of nutrients, antibodies, and fat that are essential to her growth!

So keep going mama, you have nobody to answer to but yourself, and your baby. Learn how to shrug off the rude comments. And good for you for breastfeeding your child!

You don't need to do one of two extremes (weaning at 18 mos. VS weaning at 5 years)...you just have to find your happy medium. Although I do have a friend who nursed her daughter well into her seventh year. It really just depends on you and your baby's level of comfort. This is the part of motherhood where you can do whatever you want and nobody can tell you you're wrong...and if they do, you can tell them to shove it--karma free!! I nursed my second child for 22 months. The weaning process was extremely simple. It helped that I smeared anti-nail-biting solution on my nipples because she didn't like the taste. She was happy to get a toy here or there and she never regressed. Cutting back on the cosleeping helped discourage breastfeeding too. Maybe once while we were taking a bath together she tried to go for the boob. But it was time for both of us to be done nursing and I explained it to her in a way a 22 month-old would understand. She took it very well. Good luck with yours!

I nursed my daughter until she was 18 months, and while that wasn't the plan, that's just what ended up happening. I rarely nursed her in public, but all of my friends knew and none really commented. It was something that both of us really enjoyed, and ultimately when I stopped I probably missed it more than my daughter did. We weaned slowly, nursing four times a day, then three, then two then just once. The right before bedtime was the easiest to lose because she would have to brush her teeth when she was done, the first thing in the morning cuddle-nurse was the hardest to give up. Whatever you decide, you should decide based on how you feel and what you think is best for you and Bianca, that's all that really matters.

I am currently nursing my youngest of three boys. He is now almost 20 months. My first self weaned at 14 months, my second at 22 months. I will let the youngest go until he weans. If he asks me to nurse at an inconvenient time (he usually pats my chest as a sign to nurse) I just calmly tell him "not now". No one knows what I am talking about and Austin has gotten good at knowing he can wait. I would encourage you to comtinue nursing for as long as you are comfortable. I think it is fairly normal for kids to self wean before three at least from what I have heard from other moms.
Follow your heart.
~M.

I ended up nursing my son until he was almost 5. I had always intended to let him nurse until he self-weaned - which all of my other friend's children did between 2 and 3. However, my son was very attached to nursing, and was never willing to give is up voluntarily. I do not regret nursing him that long - it gave him a lot of comfort and we are very close - but the "weaning" turned into a year long ordeal. I think my experience is the exception though. Like I said, all of my other friend's children (about 10 of them) self-weaned by 3 and it was a very peaceful process. From the time my son was about 2 1/2 or 3, he only nursed at home at night when he was going to sleep, so there was never really an issue with other people saying he was too old. One huge benefit of his extended nursing is that he is never sick. To this day (he is now 6), he has never had an ear infection and had only vomited once in his life. Since he was born, there have been only about 5 or so days when he has been sick enough to not be at school/preschool/day care. Could be something else, but I figure the extended nursing probably has something to do with it!

Best of luck! Hope hearing from someone on the extreme end of the spectrum helped!

Hi A.

I think it is ok to nurse a little one up tell they are 2 if you are comfortable with it . I nursed my son tell he was 2 and it was easy to break him of it because by that time he was more busy with other things then to want to nurse and he loved his sippy cup . So during the day I would pump and give him milk in the sippy cup and then only nurse him at night and early morning . I had started that around 15 months .
I would not be comfortable nursing a child past 2 .

I'm still nursing my 10 1/2 month son, Kylen. I have to say: I'm so happy that you are breastfeeding, even without support! That's awesome and amazing.

I'm not certain how long I am going to keep nursing Kylen (he only wants to nurse about 3 times a 24 hour period), but when it comes to nursing an older baby, I figure that as long as it's normal to see that baby/toddler with a bottle, it's normal to still breastfeed!

*Chassidy

Hi A.
I nursed my son until he was a year and a half old. The only reason I stopped was because he turned out to be lactose intolerant and I couldn't eliminate dairy from my own diet. I would have nursed a lot longer if not for that. I was so sad when we had to stop. One of my friends has a 2 year old that she is currently nursing. She does so in public, discreetly. Her son asks quietly for "mummy num nums". I see no issue with nursing for as long as you and your child are both comfortable with it. We are just extra squeamish here in America. Why be ashamed of our bodies and what they're really made for?

I nursed my older DS until he was 14/15 mths old. He weaned himself when I was preggo. I say who cares what others think. Nurse as long as it is working for both of you. Now I do agree i would cut a kid off before they go to school, but besides that what the harm? I plan on doing the same w/ younger DD. She will wean when she is ready until then I'm happy.

I just have a suggestion as to how you can get her to stop pulling on your shirt and saying boo boo. You can teach her how to use the sign language for milk or drink. For milk squeeze one hand like you are milking a cow. You don't have to do the pulling down motion, just the squeezing motion. Or drink is just like you have a cup in your hand and you pour the drink onto the ground. Babies as young as 9 months old can use sign language so she can learn it! Everytime she pulls on your shirt say "You want a drink, or you want milk." Then show her the correct signs. Help her make the signs and repeat this often. She'll pick up. Go to www.aslpro.com to see a person signing the words. For more information about learning baby sign language to go Sign2Me.com. I am a certified instructor with them and love to help babies learn to communicate through sign language. You can contact me too.

I have a friend who nursed her daughter until about 2 1/2 yrs. It became a real problem because she wanted to stop but her daughter did not. It took her leaving town for a week on a business trip to be done with it and even then it was hard for her daughter to give it up when Mommy came back. Personnally I wish I could go a year, but my milk always ends around 10 months after I introduce solids, but I don't think I would go over a year. I start to feel that I want myself to myself and get tired of the constant demands on my body.

Good Luck with your decision.

I too had a goal of nursing until 12 months. I did stop pumping at work at 12 months but continued nursing in the evenings and weekends until my daughter was around 21 months. We also used sign language, however, had no problems with biting or wanting to nurse in public. Weaning was extremely easy and took less than a week, we were down to less than one nursing a day, so I never had engorgement. (I put bandaids on and told her they were broken, she was more concerned for me than for herself.) Like others have posted, don't worry about what other people think, do what feels right to you and stop when you're ready. Please don't be embarassed about it, if you are getting "dirty" looks or comments from others, they are the ones who should be embarassed about their ignorance. Also, my daughter is the healthiest person in our house and at her school and I attribute that to her being breastfed as long as she was.

First of all, the WHO (World Health Organization) recommends all women, worldwide, nurse their children until 2 years old. Our country is definitely behind in breastfeed. That said, I'm not sure I can nurse my son until 2. :) I nursed my first until the day he turned one. He was in daycare and I pumped religiously and he never got formula. Because he was on a bottle so much, though, he started biting when he was done nursing at 6 months, and bit until the day we quit--hence the reason we quit! #2 has been home with me full time, and at 15 months, he's still going strong. It is starting to feel awkward because he wants to nurse a LOT (sometimes 6-8 times a day!) and that's quite ridiculous, IMO. I don't feel comfortable nursing him in public anymore, and, like you, I don't like him putzing with my shirt and pulling at my breasts. Some things to consider: Both my boys went through a phase at about 9 months where they really preferred solid food to nursing, and it would have been quite easy to wean them at that point. I didn't, because I didn't want to start formula, but I think most babies go through phases where they're less interested. When you're ready, you can wait for that phase. Also, are YOU ready to be done? I have friends who have quit when their babies turned one, only to be immensely sad that they were no longer nursing. Why quit, then? I personally am getting tired of nursing, so I wouldn't mind quitting, but it's not awful, so we'll keep at it a while longer. Also, are you planning another child? Breastfeeding helps me immensely with my anxiety issues; I have contemplated getting pregnant while breastfeeding simply to reduce my pregnancy-anxiety (my anxiety seems to be hormonally linked) but can't quite make myself cut one baby short that way to prepare for another. I know many moms tandem nurse, but I personally wanted to give ALL my nourishment to one child, let him grow, and then think about another. Ultimately--do what is right for you. I think it's a sign that maybe you're starting to be ready to wean that you're getting uncomfortable, but how long you take to do it is up to you. Good for you for nursing this long! Oh--in my ECFE group, overwhelmingly the moms are nursing until 2--which AMAZES me. I did NOT think that would be the case where we live!

First, I did not breastfeed. Second, I'm against any child nursing - breastfed or bottle - after 18 months. The goal of raising a child is to teach them to care for themselves, and keeping them highly dependent on bottles/breasts until they are quite old is usually because mom wants it, not because baby needs it. I weaned both my sons around 12 months.

Whether it's breast or bottle, the reason children fight being weaned is more the loss of closeness than the feeding technique. When you wean a child you need to make up for the loss of time and closeness that both mother and child get from the feeding time. So you want to do it slowly - one feeding at a time - and you want to substitute other cuddling/hugging/snuggling time as you do it so they don't feel suddenly abandoned.

The longer you wait with either technique the harder it is because children are nearly OCD about habits, and it is disquieting to them to have that interrupted or changed. So abrupt changes are bad - so take your time whenever you start the weaning process.

In the end the decision is yours - after all it's your child, not ours, not strangers'. The "bad looks" aren't that much different from those breastfeeding moms often given those of us who bottle-feed. Everyone has an opinion, right? If you want to keep breastfeeding for another year or two, go ahead. It's your child and you have to do what you think is best, not what I think is best or anyone else thinks is best. Other people may give you dirty looks, but that's their problem, not yours.

I may not agree with your decision, but I don't agree with a lot of decisions people make about raising a child these days. I don't let their opinions change my parenting and you should not let mine or anyone else's opinion change yours.

You know what's best for you and your child. So do what you feel is right.

my daughter never got formula or even a bottle at all. i decided to let her tell me when she was done nursing and hoped it wouldn't go on forever! she nursed until she was 20 months old. i got some looks and comments but we didn't go out much anyway. the last few months it was only to fall asleep and only for a few minutes. it was a natural transition for my body too that way. she is now 12 and was generally healthy and isn't screwed up because she remembers nursing! it is a very natural, healthy thing to do and your choice so don't let anyone else make that choice for you. she got teeth late but had teeth and that was no problem. she also was only breastfed exclusively for 6 months so wanted to nurse even after eating foods. the closeness we felt is what kept us doing it, too.

S. m

Hi A.! What a bunch of nice responses you've already received. I didn't have time to read all of them, but here's my personal experience.
I weaned my daughter when she was about two years and a month or two old. It was very easy, but she had a pacifier to fall back on.
I weaned my first son when he was about 23 months old. I was willing to go a little longer, but he started gritting his teeth as he fell asleep. :( It took about three nights for him to realize he wasn't getting it any longer. He was a little sad and confused but he got over it quickly and hasn't suffered any ill effects from it.
My second son is 19 months old and I am still nursing him. With all my children, I cut down to nursing only at naptimes and bedtime after they turned one. I am willing to nurse this one (probably my last baby) until he's two. I don't think he will give it up willingly, but I know from experience that after a couple days he'll move on and quit asking for it. It's tough to say no to those sad little faces at first though! However, I'm ready to have my body back to myself!

I nursed my first son until about 13 months and had no problems weaning him. I wanted to get pregnant again so I decided to take a couple of months with my body to myself :) Looking back, I feel like I could have nursed him for a little while longer because I know how good it is for the baby. I also was worried about it being harder to wean him the older he got. A friend of mine is trying to wean her 1 1/2 year old and is having a difficult time with it. I also know that once you get around the first birthday you start to get the "you're still breastfeeding?!" remarks, but you can't let those bother you if you really want to continue nursing. Just know that you are doing what is best for your baby. I guess I would tell you to do what you feel most comfortable with and don't worry about negative comments; I'm sure you know what is best for you and your family.

Obviously I'm not the first one with thoughts on this, but here are mine. I'm currently nursing our third child, and she's almost 11 months old. MY goal with the first two was to make it to a year; I went 13 months with the first and 15 months with the second. I expect I'll probably go 15-18 months with this one.

I remember at one point trying to sort out how long was the "right" amount of time to breastfeed and consulted what I thought would be the definitive sources: "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and the WHO. The first says not to go a single day past a year, because all the benefits have been given and now you're just creating problems with weaning. The WHO recommends at least two years. So I was upset and confused. But then I learned what a controversial topic it really is. I had no idea! So around the first birthday, I introduced whole milk at meals (instead of water), and I started expecting them to sleep longer at night (my babies have always been frequent night wakers, and that's the nursing that hold on the longest). They gradually lost interest in nursing, and with both my older ones, they moved out of our bedroom and into their own rooms after their first birthdays, so that got them sleeping through the night and not waking to nurse.

For us, the weaning was a smooth, gradual thing each time. And I remember how hard it was the first time to see it stop, but I very carefully replaced it; instead of coming home from work and nursing (since he no longer wanted that), I would come home and sit on the floor with him on my lap and share a snack, a story, and a snuggle.

So give it thought, to be sure, but do what feels right for you and your baby. Good luck!

I think that everyone has to decide for themselves. My first child, I nursed until she was 2. The only reason why I stopped was because I became pregnant with our second child. My second child I nursed until 18 months and then I was done..Each time I weaned them, it wasn't too bad. I would transition them to a sippy cup with milk in instead and they handled it very well. I just kept repeating the words when they would want to nurse "No more milk, all gone, here is some in a sippy cup". It might take a while, but eventually they were just fine with the switch.

A.,
I'm still nursing my 27 mo old son. I too had it as a goal to nurse him for a year, but he still seemed like such a baby at a year and he's really into nursing...so we continued. Everything I've read says that as long as you are ok nursing, that your child gets benefit from it. Then the question is if you and your child both seem ok with it. If you are uncomfortable with her lifting your shirt, then maybe it's time to start teaching her some nursing manners. You can hold your shirt down and tell her she needs to ask nicely or something. My toddler says clearly, "I want to nurse". But still, most people don't understand what he's asking for. If I'm uncomfortable nursing at that moment, I ask him to wait. The only person who has really been unsupportive is my husband's grandmother, but she didn't nurse any of her babies and this must seem a bit strange to her. I'm also pregnant with my second child and continuing to nurse. I'm not sure at what point I won't be comfortable nursing, but plan to take it day by day and figure it out as I go. I know he's getting great benefit from it and I feel really good about sharing that with him.
Good luck as you go!

Congratulations! You have made a choice that will have positive lifelong impact for both you and your baby. Here is a link that will lay out the benefits of nursing: www.lightlink.com/hilinda/Diane/breastorbottle.html

The longer the better. If you are both enjoying it, keep going. I had a hard time starting and once we got the hang of it I kept going and I have been nursing for 7 1/2 years with my two little girls and tandem nursed for a year. My oldest I weaned just before her 4th birthday and my youngest who is 4 1/2 is still nursing. I am not putting any deadlines on it and as long as we both enjoy it and benefit, we will nurse. Babies can't tell time and they don't care what the clock or calendar says.

How long is too long? Only you can decide.

I would encourage you to go to a La Leche League meeting, as the leaders there can help you with your nursing goals, whatever they may be. I went for a long time, even when I didn't have questions, as I always gained some new insight and left feeling refreshed and knowing I was doing something good for my baby, myself, the environment, and so much more.

A great book is Nursing your toddler. You can get it at a La Leche League library when you attend a meeting or you can check at your local library.

Our culture doesn't support nursing mothers, and also makes our breasts such a sexual object instead of the thing is was meant to do, nourish our children.

In the parts of the world where nursing is the norm, SIDS and breast cancer is almost unheard of. How I wish the US could get to that point some day. My sister, who did not nurse, had breast cancer last year, and it was not pretty. For every year you nurse your child, you decrease your risk of breast cancer by about 1/3. That is huge!

Be a role model to your friends as they start families. They will look to you because you were the first in your circle of friends to nurse and have such success. Your daughter will likely nurse her children someday as well. We could drastically change the health of our nation if more and more people decide to nurse their children. Breastfed babies have lower incidence of disease, obesity, heart problems, diabetes and even vision issues and more.

As far as the awkward public displays of shirt pulling and saying boo boo, this will pass and meanwhile, when she does point or pull at you, suggest another word or action that is something just the two of you know. This is a great age to start some basic sign language, as you will discover she understands and knows far more than she can verbalize at this time.

Keep it up and nurse to your hearts content!
I hope this helps and gives you some food for thought.
Good luck and enjoy this fleeting time in your lives.
J.

My baby is not as old as yours, she is almost 5 months old. But I plan to keep right on nursing her, as long as it is the mutual decision for both of us. She gets goodies (the antibodies and things) and I get to feel like I am so important to someone. I feel like our bond is increasing everytime I breastfeed her. To me, I am striving for a good healthy bond with my daughter, that is the most important thing in my view. my advice: to h-ll with those people. As long as you both are comfortable with your decision, then I say go for it. She will let you know when she doesn't want to nurse anymore.

Two weeks ago I stopped nursing my 18 month old son. I was more than ready to stop. I think he would have gone on forever. It just got to a point for me that it was not mutual, and he was well able to drink from a cup. Every day since I stopped he still tugs at my shirt and makes his sign that he wants to nurse. It does make me feel a little bit guilty for stopping before he was ready, but who knows how long it would take him to give it up on his own. I think in his case nursing is like a pacifier or bottle. I am glad I quit because he needs to develop more independence and he was starting to lose weight because he wanted to nurse instead of eating.
My daughter was completely different. I told her at 14 months that she was going to drink from a cup instead of nursing and she refused to nurse ever again. That was physically painful but emotionally easy.

You go girl! I'm still nursing and we're at almost 2 1/2! Most of ur nursing time happens at home now (wake up, before nap, before bed). You're lucky with "boo boo". I'm getting "I want mommy milk" at this point :) Keep it up until you're ready to stop. (my goal was also to make 1 year)

Hi A.!
I just wanted to say you are so lucky to be able to nurse for as long as you have! All of my children stopped after I went to work because I had to put them on the bottle while they were in daycare. I could not pump so they all had to go on formula. When my youngest refused to nurse any more (at 3 months) I was in tears because I knew he would be my last child and I'd hoped to nurse longer.
Nurse as long as you feel comfortable and don't worry about what other people think.... They will find something else to complain about later anyways. You can't make everybody happy! :)

I nurse both my boys until 16-18 months. at about 12 months we had it down to just at night. That avoided the strange looks from people. My first stopped after we took a trip without him for 4 days. Previously we had skipped a night here and there. When we got back, I just acted like it was normal to have a night time drink from a sippy instead and he took it really well. Good luck! You are doing something wonderful for your baby.

A lot of bottle fed babies even go to 15 months or so. I breastfed my girls, but one quit on me at 8 months and the other developed allergies at five months. I would suggest putting breast milk in a cup. If you want to start transitioning her to cow's milk, go half and half. I would just start telling her when she says she wants boob to say that you are a big girl and big girls get milk from a cup like mommy and let her watch you pour milk for yourself and her. Really, though, I don't think it's that big of a deal. A lot of kids have bottles until 18 months but only have it at night. Whatever works for the both of you! Congrats to making it to a year!!

Hi A..
I nursed my son until he was almost 14 months. He was a very efficient nurser from day 1, so worked out great. In Islam, we are able to nurse our babies until age of 2, or we can choose not to as well. That was the start of my guideline.
Then one day he delightfully blew raspberries while nursing, so I thought he might be ready to stop nursing. :)
I wanted to reply to your posting to tell you a great benefit to nursing longer is that you can skip the bottle all together and go straight to a cup. And when I gave my kids whole milk, I kept it cold. This helped them identify the difference, and enjoy each. :)

I nursed my dd until she was 18 months, my goal was 6 months. She never took a bottle but we started giving her a sippy cup with dilute juice or water around 9 months and whole milk after she was a year. I weaned her off a couple feedings shortly after she turned 1 and the rest I left to her, just before 18 months she was only nursing once or twice a day (usually just before naps) her choice and then we went on vacation and it changed our routine for a week and half and she just stopped asking and I didn't remind her.... we were done. In the end I missed that special time more than her but we have other cuddle time now.

I kind of think it is inappropriate to nurse school age children in public but 3 and under is definately fine. I have a friend who nursed her all three of her kids to 4 years but the kids had manners about it and never pulled her shirt up. Good Luck and don't let other people pressure you, do whats best for you and your dd.

My generic answer is that she's your child, do what you want, you can't make everyone happy. That being said, I nursed my youngest til he was a year old then switched him to whole milk from a sippy and it went very smooth.