"On the spectrum"....what Were the First Signs Your Child Was Different?

I know a woman who's a psychologist, & she was devastated that she missed the autistic dx in her own child. He was diagnosed at age 2, & it came as a surprise to her. She beat herself up for a long time over missing this (as she put it)....simply because she works with children every day.

Please find a way to be nice to yourself! It's been ?10 months since your son's dx....please find a way to embrace his special place in this world!

& as for the "why anyone's child?"....totally get it! I lost my daughter during her 2nd day of heart surgery, at age 19 days. 4 months later, my older son was diagnosed with a degenerative hip disease which will follow him thruout his entire life. It's been 18 + years now, & my only answer is to continue to have Faith. Peace to you. :)

Hi C.,

I started suspecting my son at age 2 but didn't get him formally diagnosed until age 5. In retrospect, I wish I would have him diagnosed at A. earlier age in order to have gotten him on a great start with different treatments (social skills, aba/dir floortime/o.t. etc.). He is doing great now because even at 5 he was still young enough to really benefit from these therapies. I started noticing things like him lining up toys. He had a fixation with balls. He didn't speak fluently or engage until age 3 1/2. There were tons of tantrums and frustrations about normal everyday things. He would practice echolalia. He was and is our only son but when he was young, as a mother of A. only child there was no other child to compare him with. After we had him diagnosed (high functioning autism) by a psychologist at our children's hospital we took the bull by the horns and started him on therapies right away. I have to say it wasn't easy at first but here we are and he is almost 8. My son is now highly verbal, highly intelligent and gifted with math/science, and is in a general ed class with typical peers. Sure he still struggles with understanding certain social situations but its a work in progress. When we got the original diagnosis I have to say it hit my husband and I pretty hard but we made a decision to make our son's future life the best it can be. We read books, contacted local autism groups, spoke to other parents in our area through different organizations and began on helping our son lead a fruitful life. I suggest to have him diagnosed to see what is what then you can proceed. For us, the not knowing was the worst. Good luck and you are a great mom! P.S. Contact Autism Society of America in your area they can help you get information and connect with others.

My almost 18 year old has mild aspergers. At 2, she would line toys up like a train across the room, played very well independently. During playgroups, she rarely played with other children, preferred to play by herself and typically "away" from them. She was also prone to tantrums when tired and very difficult to calm. I know it's hard, but forget the whys and do the best by your child that you can. You will need to learn to become his advocate in school, and I can only pray that this will now be easier for you now than it was 13 years ago for me. Teach him how to be A. organized, diligent student by teaching him how to use/check his planner to complete his assignments and by hiring tutors for him EARLY to set the tone that school is his job and is important. Despite her struggles, she is a BETTER student than her everything-comes-easy-for-him brother!

The positives? She is kind and empathetic to others, has the most creative mind I've ever known, and holds my heart in her hand.

I'm a PROUD mom this year as my daughter was accepted and enrolled at a wonderful private university she'll be attending this Fall, John Carroll U. Best wishes to you.

My son was diagnosed at 4 and started attending PPCD half days (preschool program for children with disabilities) this year. He made a lot of progress. I suspected a little bit but really wasn't sure because he wasn't symptomatic at home, but I noticed social differences outside the home. Even his daycare wasn't sure - they noticed "something", but couldn't put a finger on it. He's very high functioning on the spectrum and will be entering mainstream kindergarten this fall.

It is hard to accept, that your child isn't the perfect picture you have in your head. But the faster you can deal with it, the faster you can get help and help him.

Visit autismspeaks.org to connect with helpful resources in your area. Take care!

I knew when he was born but didn't now for sure until right before he was a year old when he lost his developing speech and stopped making eye contact. He toe-walked, arm-flapped, could spin in circles for a very long time and not get dizzy. Truthfully he still does these things some of the time. He was diagnosed before age 2. He is now 5, still nonverbal, but is more or less typical in other ways, or so I'd like to think because to me he's just a regular kid.

Don't feel bad for grieving your loss of a typical child but don't allow yourself to be consumed with guilt over it.

I new with my nephew the minute I held him in the hospital.

He was wide awake and would hot make any eye contact.

I have held a ton of newborns and hit they are awake and alert, they love looking at all types of faces.

I mentioned it to my husband, but could not say anything to mil r sil, they already do not care for me, imagine f I had spoken up..

Sure enough when our nephew was 2..... He just was not where he should be with his attention.. Could only grunt, could sit forever by himself with 2 blocks...

Once they finally began to notice, they started him on therapies.. Every week...

My sil and her husband would not discuss any f it. It was as though they were ashamed.. It made me so mad... Because, they acted like this was shameful.. They refused to join a parents support group or go to therapy themselves.

But the good thing is that they made sure he got any and every theta that was suggested to them.

He just graduated from HS and will be attending college out of state!

He has never been able to say " I love you" and understand what it means, he does not really have empathy, but does try to do he right things. He is smart and is going to probably do just fine, he just is not going to be like the majority of us.

Hang in there. You know as moms, we can only do our best. We love our children. That is what they need the most.

I didn't suspect anything until he was three and a half. Up till then there was nothing different between him and our older son.

Sorry but it sounds to me like you are trying to beat yourself up for nothing. Most, I say most because although it is possible, I have never heard of at kid with Autism not being pretty much normal till a year old. That in itself is enough to make parents beat themselves up. Ya know the whole vaccination nonsense. Parents latched on to it as gospel because they then knew what they did wrong to give their normal kid Autism.

All my children are ADHD, my oldest didn't talk until he was three and a half. He is now a perfectly normal ish 24 year old. Until Andy passed three and a half and still wasn't talking I had no idea he was any different than Tommy.

I am not so self-abusive that I will go back and look at every hiccup and say this is when it happened or this is where I should have known. No mother should do that to themselves.

it used to be that the definition of autism and other disorders were very narrow, thus few children had it, if you followed the textbook definition.nowadays, with the definition having been widened so much, more children are falling into the category. do more research,and dont settle for A. 'expert medical opinion" more later
K. h.
if you settle for A. "expert medical opinion", all they are going to do is medicate the child, drugs typical will only handle the symptoms, not offer a CURE. in very mild cases of autism, no medication is needed, and it sounds like your child might have just a very mild case of autism, if there is such a thing...i am working on a coffee deficit, work with me.

Hi, C.:
What a wonder person you are. Looking within yourself to see how to meet your challenges.
It is commendable you are searching for knowledge to understand the situation you are in.
What you are learning is exactly what you are saying: Understanding your child and loving him the way he is. That is a mighty challenge because it is about giving without any thought of receiving.
It is so difficult to love something and not feel like you are receiving anything back.
Good luck.
All the Best.
D.