Out of Control 3 Year Old..

Sounds like a pretty bright kid... what he is doing is working: he's getting your ATTENTION. I'm not suggesting your not paying attention to him, but kids get sad and angry when a primary parent is absent. He's expressing it and getting his meeds met. Negative attention is attention. Punishing him won't work; limit setting may.

I would try praising him for everything he does right, a lot more than you normally would. Find the good, praise his persistence in trying to get your attention. Hard to do in the moment, esp when you've got the responsibility of being the mom, dad, running the house, school, etc... Empathize that he's probably missing dad. Sounds very normal to me: )

Hope this time passes quickly for you!

Jen

Hi Krystal:
You didn't mention what form of discipline you used to get your son to behave.Physical punishment,is never beneficial. The majority of the time,punishment is administered out of frustration,A parent doesn't know what else to do.It takes a lot of patience to be a good parent.You have to learn to stay in control of your own emotions,and do what you know is best for your child.After all,our objective,is not only to have a well behaved child,but one who respects our authority,not fears our very presence.Your son is behaving like a normal two year old.He is feeling independent,and that's a good thing. Independence creates self esteem.This is a wonderful trait in any child.It can make the difference as to whether your child will be a leader or follower. It would appear your present strategy isn't working. Rather than trying to punish away misbehavior, think of discipline as a teaching tool. And keep in mind that there are two things your child needs in order to learn what you want him to: Ability and motivation.

Say your 2-year-old refuses to pick up his toys when you ask him to, and you give him a time-out. What has he learned? To pick up his toys? To follow directions? In fact, he's probably learned neither. Instead of giving him a time-out, try approaching the situation as a teaching task — you're going to teach him how to pick up his toys when you ask. Start by making a game of following directions. Give him a hug or kiss,and say "Lets have some fun while we pick up some toys. This is teaching him how to pick up his toys. Making it fun, too:You don't have to snap orders for him to learn.Children this young are so much more susceptible to Kind words. "You walk the soldiers over to the shelf, and I'll help them jump up into their places." "Bounce the ball into the box" "Race the cars fast into the box" Now he has both the ability and the motivation to complete the task.
Teaching your child self-discipline requires ability and motivation on your part too. It's a process that takes know-how, time, and energy — but the payoff is well worth it. You already are aware,that he's missing dad,and because at two years old he has a difficult time expressing his sadness at his absence,you need to let him know its alright to feel sad.Tell him you miss dad to.Reassure him,that he will return as soon as he can,but until then,you want to spend as much happy time together with him as you can.I wish you and your little guy the best.J. M

it sounds like hes upset that his daddy left. did you both talk to him about why he had to leave? i think hes just acting out over his daddy leaving even though its not permanant that hes gone. does your son get to talk to him on the phone? if not maybe ask your fiance to make a special call to your son once a day. maybe tell your son that you know hes upset that daddy left but daddy will be back so you shouldnt be so naughty. i hope this helps.

My rule of thumb is that when either of my two children get physically agressive for whatever reason, it's the naughty corner for them. It doesn't matter what the how's, why's and wherefor's of their behavior is, if they push, hit, bite and the like, they get the corner because those behaviors are never acceptable. They stay in the naughty corner for a minute for each year of their life (3 years = 3 minutes) and, afterward, I explain to them why they were sent to the corner and make them apologize. You need to be consistent about this because, if you are not, then you are sending your child the message that if he behaves a certain way, mommy may or may not punish him so why not misbehave and take your chances.

I understand that it may be difficult for you and your son while your fiance is away and that maybe this is affecting your son's behavior (still not a good enough excuse for assaulting someone else or letting this behavior slip), so maybe at this time, you will need to plan some extra special activities to take his mind off the fact that his daddy is not at home. Take him to Chuck E. Cheese one day, play in the sprinklers the next, invite friends over for a playdate another day. The two of you need down time as well but try to see what you can do to structure his day a little bit more and get him more social interaction to distract him while daddy is gone.

But, all that said, kids who are 3 do bite, kick, push and scream. It's a natural course in their development. It's up to us parents to teach them that this behavior is always wrong and to teach them more constructive replacement behaviors (talking instead of hitting, squeezing a teddy bear when you are mad instead of knocking over another kid) so that they can control themselves as they get older.

Good luck to you and your son.