Picky Eater Driving Me Crazy

Updated on January 26, 2011
E.M. asks from Brick, NJ
7 answers

My 2.5 year old son is such a picky eater and it is driving me bonkers. Since the day we started solids he has refused to eat much of what I offer him. When he was younger I would compensate by nursing him more, which he really preferred over solids. Now he drinks cows milk and seems to subsist mainly on that some days. I continue to offer healthy options and variety as often as possible, but it gets so frustrating to prepare different foods and have him refuse them time and again. There are many foods that he won't even touch or put in his mouth. Sometimes he will pick something up to try it and for whatever reason it turns him off, especially if it stringy or crumbly or wet. For example he recently started eating pizza (I was actually really excited, even though it is not the healthiest it is something to add to his very limited repertoire) but if the cheese is hanging off the edge or there is too much sauce he will not even try it. It seems that he has strong aversions to some textures (he also dislikes the sand at the beach and refused to walk on it last summer). I have tried to be patient and I do not push him to eat anything, I just offer it and let it be. But I am getting frustrated here. I honestly think there are less than 10 foods he will eat, not counting sweets, which he has no problem devouring. I am sure many of you moms have dealt with this. Any ideas? Thank you!

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Just keep putting it in front of him. Don't cave and give him nuggets b/c that is all he eats. I made the mistake of catering to my boys picky habits and they are STILL picky. I wish I would have tried harder to get them to eat a variety of foods. I would give up after one or 2 tries. Good luck!

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi Swainimommy,

There are a couple reasons kids are picky eaters. Once you rule out digestive and sensory issues the ONLY thing you are left with is learned behavior - sorta sucks, but the good news is that you can un-learn this behavior.

Of course he would rather have had warm snuggly mommy over solids when he was younger... really, who wouldn't?

Lots of kids have texture issues - this is pretty developmentally normal, and something that most of them will (hopefully) grow out of. But you're going to have to "help him" learn better eating habits.

It starts with NO Sweets except on special occasions. I don't advocate using sweets as a reward - for example if you eat all of this you can have a cookie. That will just teach him that he always gets a cookie.

When my daughter was young I started an "I don't want any" portion. Others call it the "no thank you bite" or whatever you prefer. Basically it means your child HAS to have a certain amount of EVERY FOOD that is served for that meal. Gagging is an emotional response, usually NOT a physical one unless you are feeing him lumberger cheese or goose liver which are very odorous - don't be fooled by it. There is very little food that will ACTUALLY make your child gag. They have learned that gagging/crying scares mommy and if they do it you will cave and give em the good stuff!!!!!!

Take all the emotion out of food. You wouldn't let him get away with saying the seatbelt is too constricting so he doesn't want to wear it, right? Then he doesn't get away with the 'this food is icky texture' routine either.
I don't advocate being a hard a** - quite the opposite, but you have to teach him that there aren't any other options or you will become a short order cook.

Good Luck!!!!!!

Look at it this way - this is about you teaching him how to be healthy.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I can't wait to see others responses. I have a 14 month old that isn't a joy to feed. She's never been a good eater. And now I'm to the point where she cries after eating two bites of anything. I can't even find something that she'll eat right now. By the time I'm done feeding her I have opened 6 bottles of baby food and a tray of finger foods for her to help herself. She doesn't want pureed food, and doesn't want finger foods. If it wasn't for milk she'd starve. Good luck. Sorry I don't have a answer.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Ther are some recent posts and threads on the same issue you are having.

Search "Picky eater" on Mamapedia and you should be able to see those responses!

Good luck

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B.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think he will grow out of it in time. My son is turning 2 soon, and i remember that when he first started walking, he wouldnt walk on grass because he didnt like the feel of it, but he eventually got over that. My son also is kind of a picky eater(usually with veggies, which i hide in other food so he'll eat it) and I got a few tips from a friends' gramma. She told me that if he wont eat what you give him, dont compensate and give him something else, just say ok, your done then. Eventually he'll get hungry and try it(Dont worry, he wont starve-I was appalled when i first heard this, but it works).

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

This is so hard. I just learned my 4 year old has lots of poop in her (from a stomach xray), even though she goes daily and I am so upset. She eats decent but NO veggies. Maybe an OT evaluation just to rule out sensory issue. could ask your ped. Everyone will tell you to just give him what you eat which I am sure is good advice but it is so hard, and people don't understand how upsetting it is (but don't let him see your frustration!). I wish I had done that when my daughter was 2.5! What does he like to eat? Is he underweight?

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Just keep offering him a variety. Give him TINY amounts of anything new (sometimes just seeing how much there is can overwhelm a kid), and always have one option that he does like.
Cut back the milk to no more than 24 ounces a day. He doesn't need more than that, and it could be filling him up. Offer juice, but only 1 cup a day (have you tried V8 fusion? Its a good way to get veggies in, and some varieties have no added sweeteners), and other than that, water.

Pay attention to the variety he eats over a week rather than just daily - many kids will eat a lot of something one day, and then something else the next.

Don't make an issue of it with him, and definitely don't let it become a power struggle. You can't make a kid eat.

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