Pooping on Toilet

Updated on August 04, 2010
M.R. asks from New Baden, IL
11 answers

My almost 4 year old will not poop on the toilet we have him peeing just fine on there. He even knows when he starts pooping on the toilet that he gets a new toy of his choice, just like we did when he started peeing on the toilet. We have taken toys away, privileges away and do not know what else to do. He knows when he has to go because he will go to another room or he will go outside to go. We make a big deal when he does go on the potty but nothing seems to be enough to get him to go. Help!!!!!

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for the advice. We are going to try having him help clean up and not take things from him! Wish us luck!

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

Please stop punishing him. It doesn't work anyway. Have a talk with him, and tell him that you will no longer be cleaning up after him. From now on, it will be his job to take off his poopy pants, clean himself and his pants, put them in the hamper, and put on clean underpants. No scolding, no punishment, no drama. Stand over him to supervise, but make him do all the work. Right now, he's winning the battle. Stop fighting him, and make it his decision to use the toilet. That's what he wants.

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

What i did with my daughter was, i could tell when she needed to go because she would pass gas, so i bought a book, its like the "where's waldo," but it is Princess. And we would just sit there relaxed and looking for whatever the book said to look for and she would relax enough to go and have fun at the same time! Since we started the potty training, she hasnot pooped in her panties! I found this was a great way to get her to go and be excited to go on the potty. I was pregnant at the time and didnt want 2 kids in diapers, but she did really great and now goes everytime on the potty! Hope this helps you!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Listen to SH. Also, how IS he pooping? Is he still in pull ups? (I hope not.)
This may be TMI but has he looked at himself to see where the poop is coming from? (I think boys are used to easily seeing the exit route!)
Does he understand the poop not part of him but it's waste leftover from food?
Have him try sitting backwards on the toilet. He can put coloring stuff or a book on the tank & hang out awhile.
Hang in there--I'll bet once he "gets it" it'll be forever! :-)

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M.J.

answers from Joplin on

I didnt read any post because this happened to me. My son could write his name at 2. pee in the potty at 2. Poop well notsomuch. He couldnt tell me why he didnt poo in the potty. He would hold it for a week then go in his pants. It was awful. I did all the wrong things. I just gave up and thats when he started doing it. It was about a month after he turned 4. there is hope, Hes 14 now. HA. Just give up. He wins.

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E.C.

answers from Kansas City on

first off, relax, i promise he wont go to kindergarten on diapers. the best thing you can do is act like it's no big deal. he is doing this because he is feeling the need to have control over something in his life and this is it, when ever he poops himself, have him clean it up. have him dump the poop into the toilet, have him clean the poop off of his bottom, have him get new clothes and put them on, and then have him "wash" the underwear in the sink or something. But dont do this as a punishment because he pooped. It is simply what happens when you poop in your underwear. like if you dont get your coat before u go outside, you will be cold. its called natural consequences. I am a preschool teacher and have lost of experience with children who are not yet completely potty trained. in fact, my own DD wasnt potty trained until she was 4.

good luck

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

.

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C.C.

answers from Topeka on

The only thing that helped with my oldest child was having him help me scrub out his undies in the toilet, apparently was okay to have poo on his behind but not to have to touch it to clean his pants out. Only took one time of this and he started pooping in the toilet after that, wish I had known long before I tried it, was at wits ends having tried every other bribe I could think of. Every kid is different but may be worth trying. Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

He'll do it when he is ready. Mine won't either. He has major anxiety about it, and constipates himself. We have to give him daily Miralax (despite the fact the we limit dairy, give him tons of prunes, etc.) so that his poop doesn't hurt him. I just let him poop in his underwear - for now. I'm hoping that when school starts back up he'll see the other kids going and will get over his anxiety. He also won't pee standing up or pee on the toilet - just in the potty chair. Ugg!

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C.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Is he scared of sitting on the toilet? My son, who was in kindergarten last year, would poop in his pants at school b/c he was afraid to sit on the school potty. Is the flush loud? Does he not like the splashing on his bottom when he poops? There most likely is a reason he won't go....it might seem silly to you, but is major to him. Punishing him for it won't help. Talk to him about WHY he won't sit on the potty. At home, you can try potty seats that fit over the regular seat, if he's afraid he'll fall in. (However, that's why we had trouble at school...so had to discontinue use at home!) Probably once you get past his fears, he'll be fine. You might also have him help you clean up when he poops in his pants, or wherever...he can help dump it into the toilet & wipe himself some. Good luck!

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B.S.

answers from Joplin on

I completely agree with Elizabeth C. !!
My son did exactly the same thing, (at the same age) and our doctor gave me the exact same advice. (That was 26 years ago, and it is still good advice !)
No big deal if he doesn't go on the potty, praise and reward if he does. He helps clean it up when he does it in his pants, but not as a punishment, just simply "you did it, you clean it".
It works.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My son, is the SAME way.
They will do it when ready.
Some kids, just get anxiety about it.
I would not punish him for it or pressure him... it will not work.
Or, it will cause constipation and pain.. and then the child will NOT poop at all.... and will "withhold" their poop. This will then cause a medical problem.. for which constipation can lead to Encopresis or bowel blockage.

I know, because my daughter went through that and we had to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist. He said that EVERYDAY he sees kids like that... and then they come to him because it leads to medical problems like constipation and bowel withholding. And that it is then a medical problem AND an emotional problem... for which it can take months to remedy. He said, not to pressure the child about it. You can coax gently, but don't pressure or punish. It is a biological attainment and an emotion based issue.

Pooping in a toilet, and in a boy, can take longer.

All the best,
Susan

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