Post Partum at 2 Yo?

Hi Mandi,
We have a lot in common. I am 30 with a 19th month daughter. I went through that exact thing with my husband. He was always telling me I was not the same person I used to be. I was not "depressed" however something was just not the same. Oh..I am a mother!!! I was having some issues with all the changes that came with the job title. Feeling very anxious, and snappy with my husband. Now, I am not promoting any drug, but my doctor put me on a very low dose of lexapro. I am definitely more laid back than I was before. I feel happier now, I just like the person I am now better too. So does my Husband!!

Hi M.,
Sounds like you're just a normal mom. Do you and your husband spend anytime alone, just the two of you? How about yourself? Do you spend any time pampering you?? These are just some suggestions. I think sometimes we just get into routines and lose ourselves in the midst of it. And husbands definantely dont understand the concept that we grow and mature as women. Nobody is the same person at 24 as they are at 32 LOL. But men on the other hand ......LOL.....My husband still acts the same LOL
Good luck with everything.

if your busy and content could it be that he's not getting as much attention. If your tired alot, he take that as unhappy.I know when I'm tired or hungry I get cranky. I wouldn't self diagnose myself. If you think there is a problem you should see a Dr.

It sounds like you have matured!!! Mommyhood and age does that sometimes. I think tha women go through two stages of maturing. First, as a teen, growing into a "young lady" and next, usually after you hit the big 3-0! I know my personality and goals in life did a drastic about-face after 30. I think I just felt more comfortable in my skin. In your 20's you are still trying to "find yourself". The things that matter to me are my children and family instead of myself. I am so glad that I know who I am and what I want out of life.

Sometimes people forget to take time for each other after they have kids. Take the time for you and your husband to get out and renew that love and act like the teenagers that fell in love with one another, It is fun and it keeps your mind young!

HaHa! You and your husband sound just like me and mine! I've sometimes wondered if I were post-partum even though I didn't seem to have any of the symptoms. Then I realized I was just going through a mini identity crisis. I went from a "career gal" with full time job (that I loved) to a stay at home mom. My whole life changed! But my husband's didn't seam to change at all! In my opinion your doing way above average with the wife/mommy thing. I agree with others below. Take plenty of time for yourself with no wife/mom/work duties!! You can't be everything to everybody 100% of the time!!

Hi M.,

I would question a couple of things. Is it possible that your husband is "not as happy" as he used to be? Is he going through some depression? I took psychology in college...definately NOT a psychologist (wish I had the money they make though!) But one thing I learned is that when someone is trying to convince you that you are feeling a particular way and you don't feel that way, it is usually their way of trying to tell you what is really wrong with them. I would just make sure that if you are truly happy with everything in your life that your husband is also.

Best of luck..and I will be praying that all goes well.
B.

I dont think anything is wrong with you...being a mom is not as easy as it looks....you have a lot to think about, so much to worry about....he can pretend that everything is going to be the same way as before you have a baby...If you dont feel depressed or you dont feel anything is wrong with you is probably because theres nothing to worry about....but if you want to make sure everything is fine i recommend you to go talk to your doctor.

Maybe your husband is the one with a problem.... Marriage counseling???

Well sounds like you and your husband need to have a serious talk. He is obviously missing something in your behavior or personality. Having a child really does change people and I believe for the better but it is also very normal to wish things were like they used to be. Maybe he is feeling neglected (could he have been your "baby" before you had your son) or missing painting the town red with you... I bet if you stop and think about your life with him before children you'll remember some things that you had a lot of fun doing with him that have sort of been put on the back burner (and no, I don't necessarily mean sexually) Try making plans to do one of those things with him and after he's relaxed... and you've reconnected a bit trying approaching him about what he thinks about your life now. What does he love about it and what would he change? Don't let him get away with your not as happy as you used to be, that is far to ambiguous. You need specifics if your going to help your marriage bond grow... Good Luck!

D. mother of two, 13 and almost 2 :)

I agree with several others...maybe he doesn't feel like he thought he would. Maybe you 2 need to start dating (each other) again, find out how the other 1 is doing and reconnect. Maybe some marriage councelling wouldn't hurt, but also maybe you 2 just need some grown up time with each other or some other couples- to find out you're both still fine, just different...
C.

Sounds more like he may be having post partum blues. Hubby may not have adjusted as well as it may seem and to him he thinks its you. It could be a number of things. I would sit down with him and try to find one day to be a family day and one day be a date night (without your 2 yo). Maybe this will help. I could be completely wrong but sounds like you have made the transition wonderfully and maybe he hasnt or didnt realize how much things would change. Sometimes people say one thing is the problem when something else really is (they may not even know the real problem). My opinion which could be way off base.

First find out if he really means what he is saying. and find out what he really means. Sometimes we try to put things nicely to keep from hurting others feelings.
Get details on what he means when he says he wishes you were happy... Perhaps... it's him who is unhappy and he's transfering those thoughts onto you. OR he may think you're unhappy for some reason.
Communicate, communicate, communicate!!
Good Luck