Potty Training - Claremore, OK

Have you tried prizes? Show him something he really wants & let him know after he poops in the potty 3 times, he gets the prize. It doesn't have to be anything big. Just something new. Keep it where he can see it in the bathroom, but don't let him have it. Good luck!

This is going to sound outlandish, but I have been thinking of trying it with my 2 1/2 year old.

Put him in the diaper, then sit him on the potty with the diaper on.

Another option get rid of the diapers altogether, and tell him big boys don't wear diapers.

when he poops then in his underwear make him clean it in the toilet. Sounds crazy but this worked on my 5 year old when he was 3.

This sounds exactly like how my son did. He is one of the brightest kids I've ever known -- but he was bound and determined not to poop in the potty until HE decided it was time. He did the same thing you said as far as asking for a diaper and all...it was just crazy to me. My daughter who is 4 years older than him was completely potty trained by 2 yrs -- so it was frustrating to me why I couldn't get him to go. I tried EVERYTHING the books said and all the advice I received. When I finally decided to "not push" anymore and quit making such an ordeal out of it, within a week or 2 he did it all on his own and has ever since!! Hope this helps! :)

First of all T., God bless you for taking these babies and loving them the way they deserve. Sounds like the little guy is going through a tough time (and I know he isn't alone). If he is regular and goes about the same time each day, maybe get him into the bath before "time" and that may stimulate him to have to go. There are some cute Little Guy seats that fit into the big potty, maybe let him pick out his own and make a big deal that it is HIS and no one else gets to use it. Try stickers (put them right on the tank of the potty) my girls loved that! I also had to bribe one with a gumball machine (in the bathroom) for instant gratification. Hope any of these suggestions help, but it sounds like you are doing a great job. Just be patient, he'll get it.

B.

hmm... what worked with my nephew was telling him the poopy monster that lived in the toilet was going to starve if he didnt "feed" him ... I know that sounds really gross, but it worked...

we get so worried that they will be in a diaper forever. but one of these days, when it's not being made such a huge issue, he will go poop on the toilet, just like all the other people in his life. i say relax, let go, let God.

T., I relly thought I might have some good info. for you but after reading what the other moms wrote to you , you already have anything I could give you. I will keep your family in my prayers. J. W.

After potty training 3 children, 2 boys and 1 girl, I have found the best thing to do is let them let go of their diapers on their own time...All of my kids were 3, almost 4 when they just wanted to stop wearing diapers and potty like the big kids. Anyone who says they had their kid using the potty by 2 just had their kid trained to go every 30 minutes and they just lucked up. Don't STRESS let them go in their own time. It is better own them and once they make up their mind to do it they have very few or no accidents. You are doing fine. I know it is just nasty when they are that age and that big so I just told my kids that. This is so yucky. Or that the pooppoop liked to swim all kinds of things. Best thing I found was just let the be comfortable with no stress or pressure from you to potty.

My son was the same way. What I did was go to the store and purchased a bunch of cheap toys & goodies (around $1.00) took them home, wrapped them and placed them all in a big basket and told him that every time that he pooped in the potty that he could choose a present. He pooped in the potty 6 times the 1st day and never pooped in his pants again even after all of the gifts were gone. Hope this helps! J.

For the longest time my son would pee in the big potty and poop in the potty chair. when he used the potty chari, I would have him watch me put the poop in the big potty. It was about a month before he tried the big potty.

Boys are harder to potty train, and give him time he will go on his own. My baby brother was potty trained at age 5. dont get doscouraged or mad at him. he will go when he is ready. just keep encouraging him.

T.,

Have you thought of a reward system. You could do a poop chart. Everytime he poops he gets a sticker. After 5 stickers, you could give him something he really wants (i.e. movie, spending time with you doing something special, etc). My boy was the same way. He eventually came around on his own time.

Good Luck!
T. S.

Of my 3 children, so far I have potty trained 2 of them and had the same exact problem. With both of them after doing the diaper-thing for a while I eventually "ran out" of diapers and they went in their panties. They really didn't like messing up their character panties or their pretty panties. It didn't happen over night but eventually they gave in and sat on the potty. He will do it when he is ready. I'm not sure why but for both of them pooping on the potty was very scary so we didn't push the issue. My 3 yr old cried every time the first few times she actually did it, I actually had to hug her the entire time. I also used the little seats that sit on the toilet. Every time she went on the potty we made it a point to get very excited, jump up and down, hoot and holler....it was a big deal! We also gave her a treat, which turned out to be a good little incentive. (stickers, suckers, etc.) Now we have no problems! I said earlier that it didn't happen over night but looking back now it sure seems like it did! Good Luck! Hope this helped.

I would attempt a bribe. Whatever he really likes. For my youngest it was M & M's. You get 2 or 3 everytime you go poop on the potty...no potty no prize. For a friends little boy, I sang the "pottylujah song". Think of the Hallelejuh chorus, only add "potty"...sang really loud and with a big goofy dance. He loved it and would go to the bathroom just to watch me do it and laugh! God bless you for raising your grandkids and good luck!

The kids at the Headstart go to the bath room in a group several times per day and it seems to help some the children that are having trouble getting started. Is your child in Headstart? It may help it is only a few hours per day and gives the children time with others. Hang in there and stay positive. They can tell when we are irritated.

Hi T., I have 2 little boys. What I did when I potty trained them was I got a cushion for the big toilet. This was so that they felt like they were big boys. I would set them on it and then I would give them some privacy. I would shut the door and listen behind the door just in case they tried to do something else. I never gave up. Always praise and speak positive encouragement. Tell him what a big boy he is. Good luck and I hope this helps.

you could tell him that diapers are for little kids and he is a big kid. and pooping pn the potty is an example of his "big kidness":)

Oh my heart goes out to you...we too are raising my husband's two granddaughters...the oldest came with the marriage at age 5 then we've had the youngest one,now 5, since birth. Many thousands of dollars in legal fees & retirement not an option....we too are keeping busy...lol! You might try getting a "potty ring" for the big potty & give a special reward for a "job well done"....it worked for me...but I wouldn't "push it" to the point where it casuses him too much stress ...with our youngest ..she reverted to diapers when forced court ordered visitations w/biological father...when I talked to her Pre Kindergarten teacher (a peditrictian's wife) she said don't worry ...when she gets in school & realizes no one else wears a daiper she'll quit...she did the first week....! You're in my prayers....!

My advice would be to stay positive. Getting frustrated tends to just make them dig those little heels in deeper. I certainly have made that mistake. You have probably tried this, but a reward system worked with our kids. For some reason the best reward for them was dropping marbles in a jar. Stickers didn't work for them. But they always looked forward to picking out the perfect marble to drop in the jar. When they had a certain amount in the jar, say every 5 marbles, they got a special treat like a small toy they picked out of a stash I had gotten for them. When they filled the jar we did something very special, like going to a movie, or the zoo, or for ice cream. Whatever they wanted to do. Bless you for taking your grandkids!!

Hey T.. My son did the same thing. After 2 daughters who did well potty training, I was very concerned and worried about the no pooping thing. He would even stay dry all nite! But he's now 4 1/2 and has been pooping in the potty for like 9 months. Keep trying...don't force it tho. Try rewards...but that didn't even work with my son. :) He will do this...I'd guess in the next 6 months. Almost there!!! -P.

My son also would not poop on the potty. I think he became so comfortable standing up while pooping that sitting to do it was uncomfortable for him. I started paying attention to when he pooped and then sitting him on the potty when I knew he needed to go. You can give him a gentle stimulant or extra juice to make sure he doesn't get constipated. Talk to him about how big boys and girls that go to school all go on the potty and he needs to get ready for it. You can also let him pick out his most favorite candy and tell him he can have one when he poops on the potty.

I hope this helps!

I'm a grandma rasing a grandson,had the same problems.We got a bubble gum machine,go potty u get penny to put in gum machine.Worked Great

T., I am a mother of four (and a teacher), and I dealt with the same situation with one of my sons. Though he'd pee in the toilet, he'd formed the habit of having bowel movements in his diapers; that's where he could relax enough to "go." (While on the toilet, he was so "unrelaxed", he just couldn't poop.)

My husband and I decided to make it a game. We promised my son that we'd make a new song and dance, one that only he could see when he pooped in the toilet for the first time. We called it the "Poop in the Potty Dance." He was intrigued. (We normally don't act that goofy!) His curiosity got the best of him, and one triumphant day, he went (on his own) to the potty and pooped. He called for us to come and show him the song and dance routine (which we - shocked that this had actually worked - had to improvise).

We never used diapers again! It's become a running joke in our house through the years now.

T. C-

First thing, this is pretty normal for many toddlers, partiularly boys. My son (now 4-1/2) and my nephew (turning 5 in March) both had this problem. Sometimes it's a "fear issue." More often it's a "control issue." Continue with the positive reinforcement (no matter how trying it can be)and don't make a big deal out of it. Continue to let him poop in the diaper, but encourage him to at least sit on the toilet to "try." My son was probably 4, before he decided one day (out of the blue) that he was going to do it. When he finally did it, we made a huge deal out of it, telling him how proud we were. He even got to pick out something at the dollar store! My sister-in-law's son however, still has not done it. His issue is definitely a "control issue" and she DID make a big deal out of it. It became a "war-of-wills." Because it was always a fight, he's still not going on the potty.

Keep up the positve reinforcement and patience. Good luck-

My son is going through a similar stage. I was reading an article recently that said it's really common for boys. As a medical person, I imagine it's even more of a control issue for your little guy since he has so little control of all the medical stuff he goes through. Some ideas we are trying:

1) The Go Potty Go video. It got great reviews and he really likes it. I bought it from amazon.com, but I think Walmart has something similar with Elmo. I even bring out the potty during it and sometimes he uses it.

2) BRIBES!! We have a "poo poo party" day whenever he does it and he gets a new matchbox car, a new balloon, and sometimes a treat like ice cream. We talk about it all day and sing and dance. I think it's starting to work. When he doesn't resist me at all, I'll only reward him when he TELLS me he has to go.

3) He seems to like different potties, at least for a few days. He uses a babybjorn potty chair, but someone gave us an insert for the big potty (Bob the Builder) and he wanted to use that one instead. We just have to use a step stool so his feet won't hang (can't go with dangling feet).

Hope this helps. You'll be in our prayers.

I would not push it. As with any developmental issue, all children will develop at slightly different rates, and if you try to push a child to do something they simply aren't developmentally ready for, then you will cause lots of frustration and set backs. This applies to potty training, walking, reading, etc...
When he is ready to poop in the potty, he will... keep giving him positive encouragement and choices. When he tells you he needs to poop, praise him for letting you know, and keep giving him the option of using the toilet, but don't force it on him. When he is ready, it'll happen over night and there won't be any fighting about it.

As mentioned below, rewards can help, as can a small potty. To prevent constipation, give him some mineral oil (you can mix it with juice). This should also be effective because when it works, he won't be able to hold it in and there won't be time to get him a diaper. He'll have to go on the potty or in his pants. If you put him on the potty with the timer, he'll go in the potty. Mineral oil is safe to use for young children. You could also try taking his pants off altogether while you're waiting for him to go -- this is sometimes very effective, since he'll then have to go in the pot or on the floor. If he does have an "accident," make him clean it up himself (obviously you'll have to help). Most kids will use the potty if they have to clean up their own mess. Good luck.

i am having the same probles... with mine just let him learn on his owe..

RELAX!!! It's just not worth worrying over -- both my kids used diapers just to poop in well past their 4th birthdays-- I worried alot back then, but realized they would not be going to college in diapers -- I even used to joke about my girl having a lace diaper under her wedding dress! I just let them take their own time and when they were ready offered them a big prize. They are now 7 and 11 and, of course, no longer using diapers!!!

My sister had the same problem. They found out that he needed to be in the squatting postion to be able to have the bowl movement. He was not strong enough to push it out on the toliet. They just gave it time and he is now potty trained completely.

Hi,
One answer: mineral oil. It really loosens up the bowel movements and one cannot hold this in. The body's need to expel the poop is too great! You can find all sorts of information regarding mineral oil and potty training on the internet. It's been a while since I've done this but if I remember correctly, you start off with a Tablespoon or so and then scale back according to his response. You don't want his bowel movements so loose that it's runny, you know? Talk to his doctor about the mineral oil too. You can hide the mineral oil in foods and drinks. It is tasteless. The other suggestion I have heard is to cut holes in his diapers and make the holes progressively bigger and he can sit on the toilet with the diaper on and he'll poop right into the toilet. Good luck!!

T.,
What a superstar grandma you are!!!! Your family will be in my prayers and thoughts concerning the leukemia. As far as potty training goes, I too had a 3 1/2 year old who would not poop on the potty. Is your child strong-willed and stubborn??? My son has these two characteristics which is why I quit pushing the potty training thing. I tried the same things you have and I really got stressed over the whole ordeal. Finally, I quit worrying about it and one day he just woke up and did it on his own. I know everyone has their own opinions so take this for what it is worth to you-- They poop on the potty when they are ready. Good luck and happy pooping!

M. M.

Hey T.
I feel your need......What worked for my child was a little teaspoon of miraLax (walmart,walgreens ,cvs,) I brought my child to a "Gastrologist" she recomended that the poop be more consitant of a (soft icecream) thus far it makes it easier for them to go and its all natural. Depending on the weight of your child. I put a tea spoon 2xs a day in the juice cup...
now its not a problem to go on the potty because it came out fast and didnt hurt. And we would throw a big party! rewards played a key role....we had a jar of mnm's...dont worry this too shall pass..........D. in La.

There was an article on just this thing in our local paper. They called them poop resisters. Anyway their suggestion was to put them into the bathroom and tell them they can't come out of the bathroom until they actually popped on the toilet. Even if it took all day long. If the child came out then put up a gate or some other device to not allow them to come out until they have done the deed. I don't know if this technique is for you but may be you are to the point where you will try anything. The article was written by a psychologist who specialized in children. Anyway I feel for your struggle and wish you good luck in finding what works for your child.

My husband suggests that you put an adapter on the big boy potty. He had a son that didn't want to use a child potty seat to poop. When he did that the child started pooping in the big boy potty. The would pee all day but not poop like your grandson. Hope this helps. From grandparents of 16 with one on the way,

My son had problems pooping on the toilet. We did books and bubbles on the toilet. It helped him to stay still and relax. We tried anything that he liked and he still reads on the toilet. Also the potty ring is a good idea. My son who is now 5 still uses the potty ring becuase he feels more comfortable sitting on it and does not feel like he will fall in.

You say he is 3 1/2 i dont know if this would be too long to wait but something that helped me is when they have birthdays coming up i say "ok you are going to be 3 now you have to wear your big boy pants, or you have to start doing such and such and it worked everytime." I hope this helps i have twin boys who will be 6 in July.

I read some of the other responses and they are all very good but one that concerned me was the mineral oil I am not sure how it is given but if they suggest by mouth i wouldnt do that because mineral oil like peanut butter if they choke while taking it, can cause problems even death if it gets into the lungs they cant breath and there is no way to get it out. There was a little boy who died from accidentally playing with a bottle of mineral oil and ingesting it same with peanut butter that is why they say not too eat peanut butter off a spoon. Just some thoughts.

We had trouble with my first son too. What finally worked was promising him he could go to the train store and pick out a Thomas train. We did this several times until it became routine but not daily of course- and probably not weekly. If there is something he really wants...some people use little candies but if he has lekemia I know you are not giving him any sugar. Perhaps there is something else?
Good luck and don't worry too mucg about it. It will sort itself out eventually.

what i did was use the seat that sits on the regular toilet but buy my son a step stool so he could access it himself without my help making him feel more independent

I personally have not tried this but have seen others use the positive reward system with potty training. 'Go in the potty and you get an M&M' sort of idea. It seems that since poop occurs more infrequently you might want to promise a little bigger reward, but something you can give every time. Choose something you know the child will really want enough to do something he doesn't really want to do. Also let him know that big people go in the toilet, he can too. Hope this helps.

Have you tried ready the book "everyone poops" ? My son ABSOLUTELY LOVED that book and after reading it, he wasn't afraid to go poo anymore. I'd make a big fun deal out of reading it. Just a thought.

Does he have a favorite cartoon or disney character. I saw this on Dr.Phil once. Same issue. It worked for my nephew. Have someone with a voice your child is not really familiar with call your house. Have them pretend to be the character. Have them encourage the child to go poop on the potty.Also have them promise to call again in a day or so to see how he is doing. It may take a 3 or so calls but it will work. My nephew responded well to BUZZ LIGHTYEAR calling him! For my son it was a request to go to Chuck E Cheese that had him get going. I told him when he pooped in the potty, we would go. The day he did on his own, we had to change our plans and go eat pizza that night! Good Luck!

My 3 yr old just went through that a few months ago, I tried gentle encouragement and a sticker chart, and just let him go at his own pace. Then after a while he would tell me it was time and try on the pot, but wind up doing in his pants. It seemed the position of sitting was just too hard for him and not what he was used to. I don't usually try to bribe him, but the daycare he went to was adamant about completing training, so he got a candy treat every time he went 2 in the potty for a few weeks, and it did the trick. Boys seem to have a hard time with this so don't lose hope, it just takes persistence, and don't push too hard or you'll start a power struggle. Mines had no trouble once he decided that he was the one who wanted to stay clean to "earn" his treat.
Best of luck, T.

you have probably already tried this, but sit on a stool or on the floor beside the commode while he's on it and read a book. this will allow him time to relax. really make a big deal if he poops in the potty, and let him flush it.