Hi there! I am in need of some ideas for potty training my soon-to-be 3-year old. She prefers to go in her underwear and not sit on the potty. We've done the stickers, candy and every-hour tactic. She hates the potty! I still have this summer prior to preschool, but would like to have some positive ideas to get her ready. Any help?
Thanks!
Sounds like a power struggle which is normal at this age and she also may not be ready. Go back to diapers for a few days and she will probably ask for the panties again.
Sounds like you might have a power struggle on your hands. That happened with our son. For the first time, our kids find something that really matters to us but that they have complete control over. At this age, kids are looking for ways to control their environment. We had to stop the potty training completely for a couple of months and act like we didn't care to take the power element out of it. Then we gave him a few days' warning that there wouldn't be any diapers in a few more days because he was such a big boy and didn't need diapers. We then did the bare bottom thing. Our son really didn't want to do that, so we let him decide what would work and tried that first with the understanding that, if it didn't work, we would try mom and dad's way. Our son's way didn't work and he had to go half naked, but at least we had listened and tried his way first. Then what helped was finding "real world" consequences. In our case, these were places he usually went that we explained had rules against allowing people coming in who wet their pants. For example, the bagel store can't allow that because it isn't sanitary. He couldn't go to music class because they need to keep the carpet clean, etc. We told him that we wished we could change the rules, but these weren't our rules to change. When his dad didn't take him on their regular bagel store run in the morning, our son was really upset. We let him know that we were sad, too. If he stayed dry that whole day, he could go to music class the following day, though. We knew he could do it, and we really hoped that he would. We had a potty in the room with him wherever we were in our house and took him to the potty every 45 minutes to sit for three minutes (otherwise they might sit down and pop right up after not going in the first five seconds). If he had a mistake, we did not get upset with him at all. After not being allowed to go to the bagel store, he seemed to accept that potty training wasn't about controlling mom and dad; it was about being able to do things *he* wanted to do. He immediately started using the potty and never looked back. We did a sticker chart, too, and he got special stickers for when he either asked to go (and went successfully) or just went without our prompting him. Good luck! Potty training was no fun!
Well, luckily the warm months are ahead :-) Letting her go bottomless on warm days (only works if you're staying home of course) and keep the potty handy. Depending on your outside space, it might work well just to let her go when she goes outside, but just encorage her to notice that she has to go and then stop what she's doing and go, once she's got the hang of that it'll be easier to get her to stop and get to the bathroom.
Hope this helps.
T.
What worked for my 3 year old son was the marble jars. (we used the decorative glass rocks/ squashed marbles) I started out with a full jar and he got the empty jar. For each pee in the toilet he got one marble, for each poop he got 2. If he had an accident in his pants I got a marble. This took him about 6- 8 months but we have had no accidents for the past week, not even at night. Now that he is potty trained we will be taking him to the Train Museum in Sac. like we promised. I also gave special little prizes for mile stones reached like when he first told me he had to go, his first dry night, whenever you feel like they are making progress and feel like celebrating. I feel this plan worked because there was a consequence for not going in the toilet. I know it is hard to see it from where you are, but one day everything will click and your daughter will be staying dry and using the toilet. I guess it's kind of like learning to ride a bicycle.
Hi Mom,
I kept the undies off and let the accidents happen. 2 poops on the floor and a few pee puddles later, he had it, my son was trained 1 mo before he turned 2.
Good luck!
L., I have potty trained 3 kids so far. The #1 piece of advice I can give is don't try! I had 2 trained at two and a half and 1 at 3 and a couple months. I never ever made it a big deal. I think when they're ready, they just do it. I takes a week or so to get so routine down but they will know. Be prepared fopr accidents but just be very matter of fact with them. Our 4th turned 2 in feb and she is wanting to go on the potty every day but I think she is just getting used to it. I don't think she will be serious for another few months or so. Just be patient. Hope I was helpful! Good Luck! S.
Have her pick a "prize" that she'll earn after so many stickers are placed on a sheet or jar is filled with marbles. That worked for my kids. For my daughter it was getting a soft pretzel at the mall. She had to get 10 the first time, then 15, 20, 30 etc. until she no longer ran to place the sticker on the paper on the frig.
