Potty Training and Going #2 - Casselberry,FL

I had this same problem with my daughter when she was 3. She would always hide for #2 until she was done. Finally, one day I very matter-of-factly informed her that she could poop wherever she wanted -- her choice -- but it would be her job to clean it up. So I very earnestly and sweetly showed her how we dump it in the toilet, then we rinse it in the sink or tub, and finally, take it to the laundry room. I may have (gently) had her help me hold the panties while I was showing her. I did not display any negative emotion, or act frustrated at all. She was fully potty trained from that moment on.

I am still trying to get my 3 year old (turned 3 in November) to poop in the potty! He has been in underpants since the beginning of September and always goes #1 in the potty, but he will NOT go poop in the potty!!! Argghh....I can not wait to hear your responses. Thanks for asking this question! You are not alone!

Good Luck!

My daughter had a tougher time with going #2 as well. She was much more comfortable if I wasn't in the bathroom with her when she was going. For example, if I had a feeling she was about to go in her underwear, I would take her to the potty and say "Big girls poop in the potty, not underwear!" and she would ask me for "privacy". That was a few months ago and she still asks me for "privacy" and is much more comfortable going.

I had a similar problem with my daughter - here is what worked for us. It was so frustrating - because she would go #1 on the potty and walk out of the bathroom and do #2 in her pants within minutes - so I know that she had to go while she was in there. I was finally able to get her to tell me why - and she said that she "was afraid of the plop". So......we put paper on the water - to make a "plop / splash free catch nest" . lol It worked some of the time but not always. We babysat someone's beta fish while they were on vacation - and when the fish went home she was really bummed and asked if she could get one of her own. I told her that if she went #2 in the potty for a week with no accidents then we would go and get the beta fish of her choice. It worked like a charm! That was two years ago, I recently saw a Dr. Phil episode about this - and I tuned in to see if I had done the wrong thing - as it turns out it was exactly what Dr. Phil recommends. He had some parents on that had been bribing their child with toy trucks - and it wasn't working. Dr. Phil asked if the kid already owned toy trucks - and of course the answer was yes. So in Dr. Phil's words - "they hadn't found his price yet - the new trucks didn't hold as much value because he already had some - find something that he really wants, or really wants to do - that is his idea maybe something that he doesn't already have, or hasn't experienced yet - and then promise that as a reward for using the potty for a period of time like a week. If they can do it for a week, or 10 days or so - then by the end when they receive the reward - they've gotten used to doing it in the potty, fears have been calmed, and they recognize how much better it feels not to have it in their pants.
Good luck! I hope this helps - worked like a charm for us.

Kids of both genders have a tougher time with #2 on the potty. They feel like a part of them is leaving their bodies and just being flushed away like garbage. They don't feel that way with urine because it is not a solid mass. Also, a great percentage of children with not have a bowel movement away from home. Many will wait until they get home to relieve themselves. Anyway, you are doing everything right. One thing you could try is when you get home, simply but a diaper or a pull-up on her (knowing she will be going #2 soon). She may not like the diaper and associate it with being a baby again and soon may relax to the idea of going #2 in the toilet. Another option is allowing her to be in the bathroom with you while you are going #2 in the toilet. Let her read to you, or you read to her. Then she will want to switch roles and allow you to read while she goes potty. It's worth a try, and might save you on yucky laundry. Good Luck!

Pooping in the potty comes months after peeing for most kids. The child has to be ready, and confident enough to relax. Sadly, we can't just tell them to relax, especially if they have felt a lot of pressure from the adults around them to "Relax, hurry up, and succeed, already!" That whole complex of mixed messages, and the sense that they are disappointing their parents but are still confused or anxious about how to let go on the potty, is simply a set-up for failure.

Once children reach the point of withholding a bowel movement because of emotional pressures, they are at risk of developing constipation, pain, and the much more serious condition called ENCOPRESIS. You can google that term, and "potty training, witholding bowel movement" for lots more information and ideas. One of the main points made on most sites, however, is to ease off on the pressure and give the child a chance to say when she's ready.