Potty Training Autistic Son

C.,

If he is in Occupational therapy I would speak to his therapist about body awareness. My kids had difficulty understanding what thier bodies were telling them, and at 17 and 10 they still do not feel the urge to go as often as they should. Both potty trained late, but we mananged to get it done by age 4 for both of them, but it did not really happen until after 3.5, and it was a very labor intensive task, but you can do it. He may not have night time control for many years, so don't stress about that no matter how much other people suggest that it is a problem, just buy good nights and take it in stride.

The only real advice I have for you is a general rule that will be helpful with everything you teach your son, since his language development will always be iffy, you should try to put everything you tell him into an active statement instead of telling him what to stop doing. Like, "Put the pee and poop in the potty" instead of "don't poop and pee in your pants." Tell him what you want him to do, and avoid making statements that he has to reverse (he has trouble doing this-especially since autistics already have trouble distingusihing prepasitions.) Any statement with over, under, to, for, etc. will confuse him, so be sure it is as simple and active as possible.

I understand the frustration, but it will make you feel better just to know that you are not doing anything wrong, many of us have struggled with this issue, and the temptation to judge ourselves as mothers based on what is typical for kids off the spectrum is common. You are doing a fine job and it is a very frustrating struggle.

good luck,
M.

C.,
Oh, potty training is a true test of you love for your kiddos! So frustrating and yet, we make it through somehow. I have 6 kids, the oldest three have autism. They were all 3.5 before we made any reasonable success with potty training them (we had tried earlier, and before they were dx). I felt there were developmental steps they had to have before they were ready for potty training. They needed body awareness, needed to know that certain things have certain places, and needed to be able to communicate to me. We had the most success with the "potty party" method. I expect you can get it on-line, if not, call Janet at SARRC and she will share it with you (free of charge). Another thing you need to do is make sure everyone is on the same page. We had school preschool where the kids were working on their IEP's helping at school (all kids need consistency, but I have found my kids with autism need it more than my typical developing kids). Make sure any babysitters, hab workers, grandparents, day care, etc are all working with you and that no one is putting diapers back once you have made that commitment.
As all children develop at a different rate, so too do all kids with autism. However, I have found it helpful to keep my typical kids' development in mind while evaluating my kids with autism.
This may seem unconnected, but I found that getting my husband's input on why the kids were struggling really helped. He seems to be able to better understand my kids perspective on things they struggle with better than I do.
This sometimes is a challenging thing, but it is so worth the time. For my kids, once they got it down, they had one or two accidents over the next year vs my typical kid who learned it on her own, but had quite a few more accidents over the coming months. I hope you have such luck.

Hi C.-

I'm not sure how severe your son's autism is. My son has aspergers and was not daytime potty trained until he was 4 1/2. Staying dry at night didn't happen until summer after first grade (he was 7).

I didn't do anything special to train him. He prefered the potty that sat on the floor (being up on the big one scared him) and I just made sure he knew where it was and always encouraged him to try it. One day he did and it just clicked. I recall that #2 took longer but he was fairly regular and gave us hints that he was going to go do #2 so we would try to "catch" him and get him on the potty. Eventually he just sort of caught on to that as well. I know that's not much of a help, but the good news is especially with Asperger's they are so good at following routines and doing things "the right way" that once they learn that this is what they are suppose to do they won't regress!

Good luck,
K.

Because of pressure from family members (I was a young, new mom), I started training my autistic son when he was 2 1/2. We didn't know he had autism at the time, although there were signs. Long story short, it was a nightmare, he totally wasn't ready, I couldn't understand why all my kids friends were trained by 4 and mine was still struggling. For many long years, we would occasionally try, then give up when he would still refuse to go. He's 12 now and still has bowel and gastrointestinal issues. But at least he's trained. It took from about 2yrs to about 10yrs old to be trained to the point where I didn't have to "help" him with anything. I have "poop" stories like you couldn't imagine. If your son isn't ready, don't push it - it could backfire like it did for us. Let your little guy get trained and don't worry about the older one for now. It will take a longer time, but it WILL happen. Just because your older one isn't toilet trained doesn't make you a bad parent, and because he's on the Autism spectrum, don't compare him to his peers. Let him do it on his own timeframe with no pressure. Trust me, there will be many more challenges ahead for you without having to beat yourself up about potty training. And since I don't want to scare you, let me tell you that my 12 yr old son who has PDD-NOS and ADD, is the most interesting child I've known. He is so smart and works so hard and I'm extremely proud of him. Your son is wired differently, but he will amaze you with his way of thinking as he gets older. Good luck!

I have a few friends with autistic kids and I know they tend to train later. He will do it in his own way, in his own time. Hang in there!

Hi there. I too am a mother of a beautiful boy that has autism. We are currently working on potty training. First I would say start changing diapers/pullups in the bathroom only. This way they know that the bathroom is were we change our pants. Then you can either try taking your sons 2/3 times an hour and sitting them on the potty. It sounds like alot at first but over time you can back off. It may help to set a timer and use that as a prompt that it is potty time. Make it fun. Use lots of praise and either a fun activity or a small treat for a successful void. This can be done with both kids to get them ready. I would aslo suggest starting directly on the big potty. This way you don't have to try and transtion later.

I have another document i can send you by email if you like. you can email me at ____@____.com,

I wanted to ask you as well if you have heard of SARRC? They are the Southwest Autism Research & Resource Center located here in Arizona. They are a great resource. I went through their Jump Start program and got great information and successful ways to help my son. Here is their link for you to check them out. http://www.autismcenter.org/

I wish you success with your potty training!
If you need any support or other suggestions I am happy to help.

Autistic children often potty train later. I think it is important not to pressure or frustrate him because you are anxious to potty train him. Also, please stop comparing him to your younger son. He will nearly always lose in the comparison, but that doesn't make him any less special a child. Typical kids will do lots of things our children with special needs will not or can not.

Here are some helpful websites:
http://www.teacch.com/toilet.html
http://www.bbbautism.com/pdf/article_25_toilet_training.pdf

My daughter has moderate sensory issues and she daytime trained before she was 4, but didn't nighttime train until 8.