Potty Training Issues with 4 1/2 Year Old Girl

Updated on May 02, 2008
D.P. asks from Saint Paul, MN
9 answers

I'm having potty training issues with my 4-year-old daughter. She was done training during the day when she was about 3, but within the last couple of months, she has regressed. She was having 2-3 accidents per day, so I have had to put her back in training pants. Most days she comes home from daycare with a small amount of pee in her training pants. She tells me that she can't 'feel' when she has to go to the bathroom until it gets really bad. She then sometimes doesn't get to the toilet in time. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm getting exasperated because I have to get her trained so that she can attend kindergarten next fall and I'm worried she won't be ready. She's developmentally more advanced than her peers at daycare in all areas of learning (we were told this by her teacher), so I know that it's not that she's not smart enough to figure it out. At this point, I've not even started training her at night because of the problems I'm having with her during the day. We've tried rewards and also the opposite (taking away favorite toys, privledges, etc.) and neither has had any effect. Any help or guidance would be appreciated!

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So What Happened?

Just wanted to give a BIG thank you to everyone who responded to my posting. I'm taking my daughter in to see her pediatrician first thing on Monday morning. I'll be armed with all your responses to ensure that she gets tested for all the things you gals mentioned. I'll keep you posted on what I find out, and thanks again!!! :)

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M.T.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

Is the small amount of pee maybe from not wiping well? My daughter is fully pt and she still ends up with wet undies from not letting herself drip enough and then she also just doesn't seem to wipe well enough. Drives me batty.
Hopefully it's nothing serious. GL

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D.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Any chance she is constipated? That turned out to be an issue with one of mine. He got his "signals" mixed up.

Has there been a major change in her life? (New home, new daycare, new sibling) Kids often try to find things that they can control in order to deal with things they can't control.

I just realized how old this post was, hopefully it is no longer an issue:)

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C.

answers from Minneapolis on

my brother and I had a physical problem that caused bed wetting and frequent sudden needs to urinate....The exit-hole called Urethra, where urine passes from the body, was too small...So we had to push to urinate. This caused muscules to build up, and diminish the size of the bladder. The Dr surgically enlarged the Urethra, no further problems.

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R.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would talk to the Doctor about that because if she can't tell whether she can't go to the bathroom or not, then something must be wrong. Have her checked out because I don't think she can go to school not potty trained. I don't know how the schools system is now regarding that.

Also talk to her and see what's going on. Maybe their's a reason to why she's scared to use the bathroom. You might want to use other kids as a helping tool to help her go to the bathroom. Like for instance, tell her that when she uses the bathroom on herself, she won't be able to continue to play outside because her clothes are all wet or messing and also tell her that when she uses the bathroom on herself, it makes her stink. At this point little girls should be worried about smelling bad.

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K.

answers from Green Bay on

I have a niece that had to be tested for the exact same thing. Sometimes the urethra can be too large or too small causing problems for the little ones. She had to go through very extensive testing and it was scary for her. The M.D. placed her on a medication for about a year or so. She did "grow" and the disfunctional body part grew somewhat fixing itself.

K.

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A.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think the biggest indicator that it is probably a medical problem is when she told you that she cant feel when she needs to go. I would definately take her into her doctor to find out what is happening in her little body. My younger brother had a very similar issue when he was about 5, he was fully potty trained but then started bed wetting and having accidents. I would make an appointment as soon as possible so that you can at least find out what is going on and get back on track with training her at night.
Best of luck to you.

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S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi D.,
I dont know much about this situation but, i will tell you that i do daycare for one family. The oldest girl is 5 and goes to kindergarden. The little girl since i have been watching her has had accidents everyday. I had talk to the mother and she said she has taken her to the clinic and they say nothing is wrong with her. They told her to change her diet. No caffine or chocolate ect....Well she started having accidents in school. The nurse calling and the mom told them i have taken her and they say nothing is wrong with her urine tests ect...Well just this last Friday she took the little girl to the emergency room for some reason. Anyways they ran urine tests here to find out she has really high protein in her urine. They put her meds and she has not had an accident yet. The mom told me" all the issues i have had in and out of the clinic nothing was wrong everything comes back normal and here the emergency room finds this. Point of my story is have her urine checked. I dont know if this is the issue cuz i thought this little girl was just lazy when mom kept telling me that everything cames back normal. It may/maynot be this but, if she has been potty trained and done good before, then there maybe medical issues there. I hope this is an idea or helps a little. Cause it sounds like it might be a same situation. I have had this girl since 41/2 yrs old also. It started slow 1 or 2 accidents a day. Then it became 3 or 4. Then you know there is just something wrong. Then she was having these issues in school also, then you really know there are medical issues.
have her checked and if they say no nothing is wrong, i would push for answers.
S.

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M.L.

answers from Green Bay on

My daughter was potty trained at the usual age. She did fine for months and then suddenly it seemed she was having accidents. She was well aware of "when to go". We brought her to a Urologist who did an ultrasound, etc. Suggestions were: retraining, timed voiding, wearing diapers again and retrying later. We were sent home to decide. One thing not talked about but was in the info packet was food triggers of the bladder...I decided to start there first. I was very surprised to find out that anything with citric acid was a trigger to her bladder. We avoided anything with citric acid and she was fine. It took years before she actually could have citric items without it causing accidents but at least we knew what was wrong.

M. :)

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My cousins daughter regressed just like this and it was because they were doing to much discipline with her (alot of spankings) and they had potty trained her to early at age 2 they forced it.

My own daughter was having alot of accidents about a year or so ago and I thought maybe she had a bladder infection or something going on took her to the doctor and they did a x-ray which seemed really weird to me at the time but it showed she was severely blocked up (constipated) and that was pushing on her bladder and the sole reason for her accidents. My daughter got a prescription laxative powder I put in her drinks and to help out with the constipation and now I just make sure she is going regularily and eating alot of fruit. Problem solved.

I would bring her to the pediatrician and just see if anything medical is a reason for this. Can't hurt and it's a little weird if she was fully potty trained and then starts to regress. Another things and this is a touchy subject but I've heard that kids that are sexually abused can have this sort of symptom too and I'm not implying anything just putting that out there.

I wish you luck! My daughter just started kindergarten and at orientation I was told that accidents happen alot in kindergarten and they even have extra clothes at the nurses office for this sort of problem. I know they can't handle a child that is having daily accidents but if an occasional accident happens it's nice to know.

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