My 3 year old son has been potty trained since late December/early January. He has not worn a diaper since December. We were still waking him at night to go so he wasn't going all night without potty. Recently (past couple of weeks) he is having accidents at night (EVERY night) and even during the day. It is getting very frustrating to go from no accidents to daily ones. just now he stood in the middle of the room and peed his pants without trying to get to the bathroom!
I understand that boys are slower to potty train and that it was great he trained so quickly and so young but why would he go backwards now? Any advice for getting through this and going back to the no accident days will be great appreciated. :)
Usually, they will regress because of an illness or a big change in the household or routine.
I resent that statement that you understand boys are slower to potty train. my son was done with diapers just after his second birthday. I set the expectation and he met the challenge. Every child is different, its not gender biased.
3 may seem big, but really it isn't. Many MANY children regress in potty training. It could be due to any number of reasons. Anything upsetting can cause this. (what is upsetting to them is totally different from what is upsetting to them)
The best advise anyone can give you is to not get upset or frustrated with your child. If he senses this, it may make the situation worse. Take it one day at a time. It's almost like retraining them.
going backwards is EXTREMELY common, although also extremely frustrating! it's not deliberate or defiant, it's just being a little fella. personally i would put him back in diapers (which is in itself sufficient motivation to get most of 'em over the hump.) i would be very careful not to classify it pejoratively ie say 'since you're being a baby again we have to treat you like a baby and put diapers on you', don't infuse it with shame, just practicality. if you have the fortitude to deal with accidents with no diapers, better yet, just grit your teeth and remain cheerful and philosophical about it. it will pass, and quickly (although it might not seem quick while you're dealing with it.)
good luck!
khairete
S.
I'll agree with Kathleen. When he does what you want, reward positively. Be very excited and more animated than you probably have been lately about any success that he has - and don't get too bent out of shape for accidents that you have had.
One other suggestion - if you ask him if he is dry - then, assuming that he is - when he responds with a 'yes' it gives you another opportunity to celebrate. :) (Otherwise there can be few times to celebrate.)
We did this with mine, when she started not to care, and it seemed to refocus her attention that we expected her to still care about staying dry. This too shall pass... Really... Even if currently it is a bit annoying! :) Best Wishes
(Oh, and I would stay out of diapers. While it is a short term solution, you really don't want him going back, and the message that sometimes it is OK to not run to the potty, is not one that you want to reinforce. It took my daughter a bit over a year to find the idea of being put back in diapers to be a negative, not just something that was OK. She also had a baby brother by that point, and did not want to be the 'baby'.)
Good luck! Have patience. :)
Potty training during the night is difficult. Some children don't accomplish it until they are 7 years old. My daughter didn't get through the night until she was 4. My son is 3 and isn't soaking through a diaper in the past month but is still wet. Put a pull up on him and stop getting him up at night. Put a little potty in his room he can use if he feels the urge at night and let nature take its course. My daughter used to regress like that at various times for various reasons. One time she was mad at my mother and stood in the room and peed. Sometimes it was for attention and sometimes it was because she just forgot she had to go, sometimes she was just stressed for some reason. We would make her clean it up and remind her that big girls used the potty (my mom yelled at her, but I wasn't home for that one). For my son, if he starts on this, we go back to rewards for a while.
My son did the same thing. It turned out he had a bowel impaction that had reduced sensation. Urinary tract infections can have the same symptoms. It would be worth a trip to the pediatrician to rule out a physical cause.
Good Day,
Mom, be sure to keep encouraging him to use the potty and big hugs when he does! Try pull ups for a bit, but if you continue to encourage and reward his efforts, he will be back on the potty in no time! If that doesn't help, start a reward type program! Some children think it is just too much effort and start getting lazy about it, so offer him a reward when he does go correctly! Even if it is just his favorite cookie! Encourage him any way you can! He'll be just fine with a little more time! he is at the correct age to do this! Good luck and I hope everything works out real soon! May God guide & bless you both!
Truly,
Kathy
Though frustrating, what you are describing is extremely common, and not only with kids who train early, though it seems more likely to happen with early trainers. There are two main ways of addressing it.
1. Muscle through, and deal with the accidental and not-so-accidental messes. Reward and punish, make charts, etc. This could mean many cleanups over many more weeks or months, and the child becoming tense or resentful about the whole process.
2. Accept that training is complicated for the child, both physically and emotionally. A lifetime commitment to using the potty can suddenly loom large and seem pretty daunting. Allow the child to go back to diapers/pullups. Allow him to consider the pros and cons of being in diapers vs. big-boy pants. Kids given this freedom very frequently choose to use the potty after another week to few months, because it dawns on them that getting diapers changed is still a bother that takes them away from their preferred activities.
Kids want to train when they are ready, just as they want to walk and talk when they're ready. Pushing doesn't make it happen faster.
Your son's nighttime accidents may simply be beyond his control if they happen when he's deeply asleep. Overnight training happens later at night for some kids, especially boys. The bladder and nervous system need to be fully mature for training to be for keeps (and even then, an occasional wet bed happens for lots of kids).
