I am in need of suggestions and advice on explaining and preparing my soon to be 4 yr old for adding a baby to the family.
He has been my whole world since he was born. He gets all of my time. I have no doubt that I have enough love for 2 but I worry this could be traumatic for him. He is a very smart loving little boy. The only thing I have told him so far is that I have a baby growing in my tummy and he's going to be a big brother. He truly seems excited now but he might not be when it gets here.
I am also worrying that he will worry about me when I have to stay in the hospital. I plan on giving him a tour of the hospital prior to the birth so he will know where I am, doing a sibling class offered by the hospital and getting some Big Brother books to read to him.
Any other suggestions or ideas? I just started my 2nd trimester.
Relax... that is the best advice I can give you. He will be fine! Just make sure he is part of taking care of the baby and that you make time for just him when the baby comes.
Good luck!
We got our son a big brother gift. The big brother shirts my mom got him got him a lot of attention from the nurses. We decided on a toddler camera and told him it would be his job to help get pictures of his new baby sister. Our goal was to keep him occupied while everyone oohhed and ahhed over the baby. It worked like a charm. He was busy and felt like a big boy. The pictures are funny though because he took photos of everything besides the baby...my iv, the trash cans, tile floors, etc. He was a month shy of being three when his sister was born.
I also let him help get the nursery ready. I picked three burp cloths I liked and let him choose the ones we would buy. That sort of thing. I let him put the diapers in the basket, etc. He helped clean it too (he used baby wipes while I used Chlorox wipes).
I breast fed and would let him sit in the recliner with us. He could use the boppy to rest his head while his sister ate. He would "pet: her legs and we would read or watch tv together.
As for books, we loved McDuff and the Baby. It's about a dog that has to deal with a new addition. It was great because it made for some terrific talks about the time a baby takes. Since we talked about the dog it seemed easier for him to "get it".
And no matter what happened the first few weeks, I tucked him in at night. We would read, cuddle, tickle and play. With a new baby it meant that some nights he went to bed a little later than usual, but I think our time spent together far outweighed keeping a schedule. I wanted him to know that I still had time for just me and him.
I anticipated a lot of issues with the new baby. Like you, he was our world. The transition went very smoothly. There were days where he was cranky and out of sorts and days where he wanted to be cuddled and carried like the baby. But for the most part it went really well. She is 14 months and he just turned 4 and they get along famously!
I would just continue to talk about the baby with him. Does he go to a daycare? Maybe you could walk him by the window of the infant room and explain that his new sibling will be little like them and go to the infant room while he's in the big boy room, etc.
Talk about how he can help with the baby, and eventually play together.
I think all of your plans you mentioned are a great idea!
My son was 3.5 when my daughter was born. And, one of the best things we did was take some of the new "baby-talk" out of all the conversations. Instead of talking about the getting ready for the new baby, we talked about what we did to get ready for him.
"When I was pregnant with you, I had these burp cloths all ready for you in your dresser."
"Here's a picture of what I looked like when you were in my tummy."
"We set up this crib for you, and Daddy had such a hard time putting it together."
Best of luck! My kids do fight, but are really good friends. Great spacing!
