My daughter just started preschool and has been invited to her first class birthday party. Yay! My husband has to work on the day of the birthday party so I can't leave my younger daughter home with him. So my question is this: what is the protocol for a younger sibling at a birthday party? I was thinking about emailing the birthday girl's mom to ask if siblings are welcome or if I should plan to get a babysitter for her. Is that rude to even ask? Is there some sort of expectation to not bring siblings to a birthday party? Being a new parent to the preschool world, I want to make sure I don't offend. I guess I'm worried that the mom will feel backed into a corner by my question and she might say it is ok to bring my other daughter even if she would prefer I not. Thoughts? Thanks!
Thanks for your helpful responses, mamas! Quick update on what happened: I did not end up bringing my younger daughter to the party for 2 reasons: 1) As one mama suggested, it was a nice opportunity for me to get to know the other parents at the party (rather than chasing my toddler around), and 2) my younger daughter had been feeling under-the-weather for several days so I didn't want to risk her getting other kids sick.
HOWEVER, I think it is important to mention that there were MANY younger/older siblings at the party. The host parents were completely welcoming to siblings coming along to the party. I guess I should note that my daughter's preschool is an amazingly welcoming and nurturing community. Everyone values the family as a whole and is eager to support and include everyone.
Thanks again for your responses!
If the invitation did not specify "& family" or siblings welcome, I would at least try to get someone to watch the younger child.
It depends on the party... if it's something where they have to pay "per child" and your younger child is old enough to want to participate then I would suggest either offering to pay for your little one or finding a sitter. If it's not that type of party, then call ahead and ask the mother if it is alright with her if your younger child stays. Let her know that you do not expect a goodie bag or treats for the little one and that you'll bring something for her.
It's not rude. We just had my son's party in May and having been to so many preschool parties over the year with siblings coming (some announced, some not announced), we put "siblings and parents welcome" on the invite. It was easier that way.
If siblings are allowed it SHOULD say it on the invitation. My son has only attended 1 classmate's party so far, but when the mom handed me the invitation she said, "I forgot to write it on there, but feel free to bring J & A too." I didn't, because I know that my oldest is a handful, but it was nice to have the offer.
I'd just email her, so she has time to think of a response if she was not anticipating having siblings come.
Very polite of you to ask this....
IMO: if it's at a place where the mom is paying "per child", I would try to get a sitter.. If it's a house party or park, email the mom and ask if it's okay to bring your younger daughter..
I wouldn't worry about contacting the other mom. I had to do this many a time as I'm a single mom. I would simply contact the Mom and ask if she wanted the parents to stay or not. If she did, I asked if it would be alright to bring my younger daughter, offering to keep her out of the way and not to expect anything. I never got a negative response and in fact, many times, the moms included my younger daughter in the party.
If the party was at place where you have to pay per head, generally I could find an area to hang out with my younger daughter so there was no extra expense incurred by the partygiver.
Chances are that every family has had this happen and everyone I've ever had to deal with has been super nice about it. When I was the partygiver, I just expected that there would be siblings and factored them into my planning.
Im sure if you email her she will not find a problem with it. We have had it happen here also where people have brought thier younger ones. I have never seen a problem with it, I understand.
Plus your going to watching the little one, its not like your dropping off both children and leaving.
Most have thought about it ahead of time of what to say either way when asked. With my oldest son I would call and tell them he can come if I can bring his younger brother. Most parents of young kids expect that. I don't think it's rude at all to ask they will proablby appricate it cause if they say yes they know a better count.
I think it is generally assumed that the party is just for the child that is invited. That being said, we all find ourselves in situations where we can't just bring one child. I have, on occasion, e mailed the host parent to ask if I can bring a younger sibling with me. I always offer to pay for my young one and promise to keep her out of the way of the party. I have never received a bad response and often see a few other young siblings at the party as well due to similar situations. Every time this has happened (which isn't often), the host has included my young one in the party and told me not to pay anything and that it is totally fine. I think, as someone said, if everyone brings a sibling it could turn into a very big party, but in a rare circumstance, I don't think anybody would mind. Good luck!
Siblings are not allowed otherwise a 8 child party could turn into a 16 child party and that isn't fair to the host or birthday kid, not to mention potential age discrepancies. So you will need to find care for your other child. You can rsvp no and simply state your child cannot make it because you don't have a sitter and leave it at that. If the mom offers for u to bring other child then u can decide to accept but plan on ur other child bringing a gift as well.
It is best to find an alternative for your younger one. Many preschoolers have slightly younger or older siblings, so the party size could double quickly if everyone brought their siblings. Sometimes the birthday parents will invite particular siblings because they are the age of their other children, or your families are good friends. If not, it's better not to ask. Enjoy the party with your preschooler!
If the party is being held during the weekday (during the day) most people know that finding childcare for siblings would be a challenge. If it's in the evening or on a weekend, just ask the mom. I'm sure she won't be offended. I had to do this one and just offered to pay for my older child.
How old is your daughter? Are YOU expected to stay? Perhaps the other mother will have enough help that your being there won't be mandatory? If she has other children I am sure she will understand -- we threw a party for our daughter last year (3 y.o. bday party) and I told the parents they didn't have to stay as we were going to have plenty of adult supervision with grandparents and close friends. I don't think it's rude to ask anything as long it's done with the expectation that you will abide with whatever she requests.
Well maybe you could just drop your older daughter off at the party and hang out with your younger daughter and then pick her up. I get that maybe you want to meet other moms, etc., but I'm sure it would be acceptable to do a drop off wouldn't it? I just had my daughter's 4th b-day party and although I didn't invite any of her classmates, I did give the others the option of staying or leaving.
If you want to stay, I'd probably go ahead and find a sitter for the younger daughter. Since it's the first party, I'd just focus on socializing with the other moms and then seeing what the protocol was this time around.
Have fun!
I've had this come up when planning parties for my own kids. I would highly recommend asking the mom "is it ok if I bring my young daughter along? I'll bring her own food (or pay for it) and she won't play or anything."
In reality, the party is for the birthday kid and his/her friends. So, as long as you make as little an impact as possible on the party, the birthday mom won't likely have an issue.
