I totally agree about open communication with parents and children and children and parents this is the secret.
My husband and I have known each other since we were 13.. We would talk on the phone, see each other at school.. His mom or my mom would drive and pick us up at the movies,. the mall whereever.
He would visit at our home, I would visit at his.
At about 15, we were on the phone and he said. "hold on,my dad says he wants to give me something. Then he got back on the phone and said, this is weird, he gave me a CASE of condoms!" (His father owned a drug store).. We both were wondering, why on earth his father would think he would need condoms? Of course now I totally think it was awesome, but also funny, it was so out of our minds o have sex, we were perplexed.
I even told my mom and she asked if I wanted Birth Control? I told her no way! She said, well if you ever decide to have sex, let me know so I can drive you to get some pills. It was not till a long time later, I went and got on Birth control, And yes I told my mother.
My mother was honest about family members (her age and older) that had gotten pregnant and then HAD to get married.. Many of them were not as educated or have great jobs. They were barely getting by and they were such young people. We talked about what it would be like if I got pregnant. How much it would cost, how all of my plans would totally be changed.
This is exactly what we did with our daughter. Total open communications. When we saw a pregnant teenager, we spoke about what her life would be like. What she would have to do to care for her child. How she would probably miss out on all of the fun things kids get to do in school.. Like sleep in on the weekends. Go to games, parties, trips..
Probably end up living with her parents a lot longer than first planned.
I used to also explain to our daughter that "school means Kinder until you graduate from college, then she may want to travel, find a great job, get an apartment and paint the walls any color she wants, decorate it the way she wants, Pick her own pet, have fun, shop.. then fall in love and maybe live together or get married.. She has a whole lifetime to then decide to have children. Having unprotected sex even once, can change all of the above or slow it down so much, that you never get a chance at the above."
I also explained that her dad and I had married young because we knew we loved each other, but we totally planned to wait to have a child till we felt we were ready in our marriage, our careers, and owning a home. That our daughter was totally planned and we had no regrets.
Asking kids what they want when they are older is a great way to start the conversation about if you want that, be aware of what can hold you back from those plans.. Unprotected sex even once is dangerous. It can affect your health and your entire life.