Rewards for Grades

My kids aren't in school yet, but when I taught 3rd grade, one of my student's mom had the best idea. She gave each of her children money for improvement or consistency on their report card and this money was saved and went towards the book fair in the spring. However much they earned, they got to spend on what they wanted. I thought it was a good idea because it taught them to save and gave them a goal to work towards.

When I was a kid I got my choice of $20 or a trip to Showbiz Pizza (now Chuck E Cheese) when I got all A's. I thought it was a great incentive.

The problem with rewarding for grades is that you have two children who may be completely different when it comes to school and grades. My oldest (8th grade) has never had to work hard for her grades, A honor roll was a given every six weeks (it has since become a greater challange, thankfully!)
My younger dgtr (4th grade) is dyslexic and has done a fantastic job overcoming her disability to achieve in the classroom, but for her "achievement" is most frequently in the B range. If I were to only award her A's, it would greatly diminish her hard work and efforts she had to put into reading and spelling just to PASS language arts. She does not receive any special treatment for her dyslexia (per our request) so she works HARD and deserves to be praised.

I was the oldest in our family and breezed through school. My parents paid us for grades, so when report cards were handed out I collected up to 100 dollars by high school while my sister only got about 20. As a result, she hated school and barely graduated. That was only a part of what resulted in a great deal of sibling rivalry (we've thankfully overcome). You don't want to set your beautiful children up for that kind of relationship.

Hopefully, your dgtr will be A honor roll material just like your son. Just don't start something now you can't easily back out of in the future. Make it a celebration of how wonderful your whole family is doing, including yours and your husbands small victories! It will instill family pride and a sense of how everyone does their very best because that is what your family values and celebrates.

I didn't mean to sound preachy, our report cards just came out yesterday, so this is fresh on my mind and in my heart.
Just to brag, 4th grader made an A in reading this 6 weeks! But, sister made an 89 in math, we celebrate anyway!

As a teacher for the past 6 years, I found that students who received rewards for grades only made good grades for that reason (extrinsic reward as the previous poster stated). Some parents say, "well at least they're doing well." That's right, but I taught secondary, and by this time students started losing interest more and more (especially when it was monetary and they became old enough to get jobs. Then, they could make money their own way).

If a student isn't motivated intrinsically (by him or herself), then there will always have to be a reward in order for him or her to do a good job on something. . . they will always expect something. This carries on through college and the workplace.

The best reward, coming from a parent and teacher, is praise for doing those good things and making good grades. Praising the positive things has gotten lost over the years as more and more parents feel they have to give rewards. Then they have to start making the rewards bigger and bigger as they get older. Praise goes a long way. Good luck in your search, and make a BIG BIG deal about all those As your son made. Make sure you brag about him to others while he can hear you, so he'll know how proud you are of him.

I must be the minority - we don't reward grades - I feel like kids have to want them for the intrinsic reward of doing well - otherwise there is the long term problem of keeping them motiviated from outside sources. I just don't think it is a good idea. We obviously offer our praise, we love our kids and are very proud of them. We have one child who is a highest achiever - she is consistently at the very top of her class (6th grade) - with an average of 100 in all her classes - she is self-motivated to accomplish good grades for herself. My 4th grader is a straight A student - but he is less concerned about achieving them.

We have never offered rewards of any kind - however I have lots of friends that do. I am not judging any one else's choice - this is just my belief.

Praise directed at effort is much more effective than praise directed at a particular skill or general intellectual ability. Read more about The Uses and Abuses of Praise: http://www.justaskbaby.com/blogs/professor-elkind/the-use...

i reward my nieces for good behavior weeks with a cheap toy and when they get their report card will take them out to a fun place. this time, also for my oldest boy, if the grades are good, the treat is to see the chihuahua movie that they so desperately want to see, complete with popcorn and a drink. they get good grades because they want them. i just put the carrot in front of them!

poor thing..a simple question and so many want to give their opinion of what you are doing. go figure.

my son is 5. i would treat him to an inexpensive toy, chuck e cheese or incredible pizza, movie day, go to see his cousins (or friend, whoever), picnic, he gets to choose where we go for dinner. endless possibilites. just depends on what excites him. hooray for his grades!

Dear H.:

I would like to see you reward your son's good habits and hard work rather than grades. If your son puts in the effort, his grades will reflect it. That way your son won't get discouraged when the going gets tough. If he steps up and works harder, he will still be rewarded - even if he doesn't get that "A" while attended Harvard Law School. ;)
Jen

I would take him somewhere special, a place that he likes to go that you don't go to that often. Then he will know that Mom & Dad are very proud of him!

Never food!!!!
I like an educational outing. Museum, zoo, play, weekend trip, 3d show at the science place, nature hunt, camping, etc..... Bring along a study book/guide to go with it. Show them that education is everywhere.

We didn't eat out much when I was little, so we'd go out and I got to pick the place.

I take my children to Half Price Books for a reward for good grades.

When our son was in the 3rd grade he really wanted a fish tank. So as a reward we started off first with the fish tank and then each time he brought home his report card he would get a new fish for every "A". Of course HE had to take care of the fish, ect.

D.
SAHM of two: 18 and 5.

I see no problem rewarding his grades. I wish my parents would have done it with me more as a child to give me something to look foward to for earning those grades.
My daughter is in first grade and every Friday we let her pick out a dollar toy at a Dollar Store if she did great all week long.
I know my child and I know how hard she's working and I feel she deserves a small reward for good grades or for her hard working efforts in school. She did so good yesterday in subtraction she got to sign the principals good book at school which was a BIG deal so we let her pick out some stickers when we went to the store and she was so excited!
It keeps them motivated throughout the week to get that reward when the week is over.
It's pretty much like how the teachers do it in their class, they reward the good kids behavior at the end of the week by doing a treasure box.
I would take your son to one of his favorite stores and depending on your budget, let him pick out something special. Or if you already know something he really likes, then have it waiting for him when he gets home from school.
Rewarding good grades is a GREAT thing to do and will only encourage him to keep up the good work!
Take care and I'm happy your little boy is doing so good in school!!

We usually take our DD(2nd Grade) out to eat, her choice, or we go somewhere and she picks out a "toy." We make sure that she knows how proud we are of her and that there are rewards for hard work.

What does he like? What will make him want to work even harder?

For me, it was MONEY! I loved to have my own money and buy my own stuff from a VERY early age so my parents gave me money for grades -- all the way through high school.

With my son, who's only in Kindergarten now, it will be extra computer time (we LOVE NickJr.com) or TV time if he does well in school.

With my BFF's son it would be letting him have a friend over.

Just find what will work best for your son. There really isn't a right or wrong answer so don't let anyone tell you there is. IMHO