Rude Mamapedia Moms?

I sometimes come off as rude, mainly cause I think I am a know it all. I dont know it all, but I try to sound like I do...lol. I try not to be rude, but I know my sense of humor and dark side occasionally will creep into an answer.

If you sound and post intelligently I will answer in like, if the post sounds ridiculous, troll like, or flaming.. I answer rudely or flippantly. If it is something I am passionate about, I do try to be as tactful as possible, though I honestly think its the reader who will find something rude, rather than the poster actually being rude. We can not put eye rolls, sighs, shrugs, tension, smirks, giggles, and the thousands of other things in there that gives off the true intention of the posters meanings. I didnt think what you posted, or the replies were all that bad.

I've noticed increasing rudeness over the last year or so. I feel if you can't respond to someone's question with sensitivity and respect, don't bother responding. And don't give unsolicited advice about things that weren't asked in the question. I once asked a question about my daughter and was astounded at the rudeness and boldness of people. I had people telling me my daughter is a brat among other things. I would NEVER call someone's child a name.

I realize I might come across as rude sometimes because I am honest and blunt.

One thing I do for certain.... before I click "post" I re-read my answer. If I could not or would not say those exact words to the person who posted the question, then I delete my response.

I don't believe in hiding behind a screen to be mean and call people out. There are a couple on here who do that.

That said, if you post a controversial question, you will get a lot of different opinions and some won't be the answers you are looking for.

"I realize everyone is entitled to their own opinion but"...

You can't add 'but'. You either accept and respect differing points of view and opinions or you don't.

You can't ask a controversial question and not accept the good with the bad.

Just because someone is blunt or isn't telling you what you want to hear or seeings things from another point of view, doesn't make them rude, or wrong.

Pointing fingers to blame a bad guy is wrong.

Be the bigger person and brush your shoulders off ;)

I read your post and the answers...I didn't really see where anyone was name calling (I could have missed it) or rude.

I think it's all in how we read the responses and our emotional link to the subject.

On this note...and this is meant to be for everyone not just you...but the post about this particular subject are getting old and tiresome to read. Seems we spend more time bickering about what is rude and what is mean and who and why, when and blah blah blah...than we do actually getting answers to issues, questions, concerns. I for one and sick of it.

Ignore the crazies!
Take what you need and ignore the rest.

Mom:

How is this helping anything? This is like what the trolls do - come on ask drama filled questions (NO! Yours was NOT drama but it was political) and then don't like what people say so you make another post about how mean people are.

This is an open board. We have ALL sorts of people on here - not one of us has had the EXACT same experience. When you read something you don't like - it will be with a negative attitude and you will put your spin of "cattiness" on it. When it's something that supports you and you like it - then you put a smile on your face and are happy!

The stuff you don't like? Take it as constructive criticism or don't take it at all. But doing a post like this doesn't make you any better.

Well, I enjoyed your thread very much. I saw that some answers were getting a little testy but to me that's what my father calls "a good discussion." :)

ADDED: I want to say, too, threads like your one on Fracking are what I *like* to see on Mamapedia. I come to this site for the deep emotional discussions and the fascinating spread of different views on controversial stuff. The run of the mill "what's the best brand of diapers" stuff is great too and i turn here for that too. But the real discussions are what I really value about these moms. :)

Well speaking of rude, I suppose you will think me rude at this moment. I just went and read through the entire Fracking thread. What a waste of my time. I'm not saying that the info isn't useful. But your premise that people were rude to you was a waste, if that's the thread you were talking about?

These kinds of posts where moms are on here griping and complaining about peoples answers really reminds me of the whining my 3-4 year old daycare kids do when they don't get their way. I don't have much time when I get on here, sometimes 3 minutes to read and write and I'll come back later for another 2-5 minutes when time allows. So I don't want to waste my time.

Is there a respectful way for me to ask people (not just you) to just stop worrying about every little perceived disagreeable comment and to stop griping about it on here taking up question space?

I come across as "harsh" on here. But also at the same time, I get a ton of flowers for those same harsh answers. If you have been on here for 10 years, then you should be very familiar with the variety of people on here and the levels of answers you get on the same question. I get frustrated with the moms who feel "obligated" to do things they don't want to do, also the ones that play games with their husbands, I just don't "get" them and my responses usually come across pretty stong. Its just my opinion and how I say it. I don't candy coat on here and I don't in real life. And someone said that we must be "unhappy" because of our responses and have terrible kids. Uh no, that isn't the case at all and in fact its probably the opposite. I'm very happy in my life and have typical kids...good days and bad days, just like everyone else. I'm the first to admit that I *could* be nicer in my responses and I'm honestly *trying* too! But really, we are all different and we all need to understand that. I have gotten something from all of the responses I have gotten and some of them were harsh, maybe "payback" for my harsh answers to them! Lol! But really, who cares. If you get some good advice from what you asked, thats the point, and ignore the rest. =)

You posted a political question what exactly did you think would happen? Yes, hydraulic fracturing is very political at the moment and there is a lot of false information running around about it.

I posted for fun doesn't fracking sound like a great pseudo swear word and got an earful. I can't even imagine, well I guess I could look at your answers, what would have happened if I actually had posted an opinion on it.

I've noticed a couple of people, as soon as I see their name, know it's very likely their response will be less than tactful. I have to assume they're pretty unhappy and perhaps stupid people so I just take everything they say with grain of salt. It seems they almost always have to take the offensive. Just ignore them.

I read your last question and all your answers. To me it looks like 3 (2 still posted 1 the poster deleted her answer already) people answered in a way that could be considered 'rude'...to me 3 out of 18 isn't all that bad and not worth worrying about, ya know?

We can not control others. They have the right to be jerks, if they so choose and there is not a lot we can do about it. I don't even let it bother me anymore. We are not all perfect and you just never know who is having what kind of a day and who is just always snarky! I try really hard not to judge others b/c I know that I am not anywhere near perfect and the fact that I have been on this site for almost 6 years *guarantees* the fact that I have probably been 'that' rude person at one point or another :(

So since I know I have been the rude one to somebody on here, at some point in time...I want to tell you: I am sorry! I am LAME and I know it! If I could take it back I would!

~Hope that makes you feel a little better or at least makes you smile? Just a little? :)

IMO, The good FAR out-weighs the bad on this site!

I agree with OneandDone . . . don't sweat it. There are some real gems here, with great advice - and then there are the rudies. And then some of us just have bad days sometimes.

Keep on keeping on!

Sometimes I will read some moms' responses and think how rude that was. However, as some responses i believe are just plain ignorant - other times I really think that it's hard to read what exactly people mean - especially without knowing them personally and how they communicate. I think about my daily work interactions - and i have people that i communicate with daily on email and it's wonderful - but there are others that seem to come across rude, harsh or just plain dumb in emails - and those people, i usually chose to interact with via phone - and use email as follow-up to our conversation for documenation.

Try not to take things personally, I have found responses to my emails that I wanted to scream - but 90% of questions i ask - i find very helpful, so i don't let the 10% discourage me.

i agree with u i asked a question the other day and got great responces ..except one i couldnt believe what i read i was soooo pissed off .. a little while later i was like who cares i dont know this b*tch why should i let her ruiin all the good answers i got

I bet you found my answer rude BUT I HAD ZERO INTENTION of causing offense. Now we all know where intention leads but I would like to point that out. I was trying mistakenly to make light and it fell short. Ok, fine. But just for the record I wasn't trying to make you or anyone else feel stupid.

When you come to this site or any other asking the opinions of others, just take their input with a grain of salt. Whether the critism is in agreement for your position or against.

Sometimes I think some of the moms that come to this site are too thin skinned but I'm thick skinned and I realize that people have different opinions and experiences than I do.

I tend to just let it be whatever it is and don't take it personally. I don't know anyone here personally so why be offended when I don't know the intention of the person commenting. Sometime people are matter of fact and sometimes they are actually trying to be rude but don't sweat it. It's not that serious but again I am thick skinned.

I saw your question and thought it was going to be "how do you feel when someone says Frack instead of Fu$%?" Boy was I surprised when I, yet again, had no idea what someone was talking about.
I have noticed that there are two people on here that as soon as I see their name I KNOW they are going to be rude. They are blatant and downright mean. I just ignore them. Although I see that they get flowers and then I think that some people are rude and mean, but on the down low. lol
L.

I think because people are anonymous online, they don't always take responsibility for what they say. If you were talking face to face with these people, they would be more forgiving. Just let the bad stuff roll off your back. There is a lot of good advice from the more rational people.

You post a controversial question, esp politica, religous or environmental you will get a controversial answer.

I just read through the responses you got.
I saw that a few people didn't agree with you, and some suggested you didn't have all the facts, but rude? I didn't see anything rude.
Maybe the one that was deleted WAS rude, but since she deleted it I can't say.
This site is just like real life, not everyone will agree with you, and not everyone will be warm and fuzzy. We all have different styles, personalities and opinions, and I think mamapedia does a decent job removing nasty/hurtful posts and responses.

this board is like the real world. some are rude, some are compassionate, and some are aloof. can't change people in real life so why try here? i remember your post about freaking but i didn't know what it was so i didn't reply. i won't go back to read who was rude to you, but please don't sweat the little things.

"So since I know I have been the rude one to somebody on here, at some point in time...I want to tell you: I am sorry! I am LAME and I know it! If I could take it back I would!" <----Yeah, that. :)

I agree with one poster below. People are rude because this is anonymous, and they are cowards. Most likely they would never tell you to your face that you can't spell, or your grammar is bad.
the only rude comment I saw to your fracking question was someone pointing out that you spelled chemical wrong. And you did about 7 times! lol, I would maybe point that out in real life!
There are two people on mamapedia who are particularly rude and abrasive, most everyone else is nice, I have had great advice over the years.

Sorry your experiencing this! I love this website, some of the responses that people leave can at time's be a bit harsh but nothing worth taking personal, I just tend to ignore all negativity.... At time's I myself might disagree but won't comment only because sometimes when you respond to a question it doesnt sound the same as verbally speaking it, kind'a like a text where you might take it the wrong way...

oh you asked about fracking.. i had no idea what it was so i didnt answer. there are just rude people out in the world. i always try to be sympathetic to questions on here. but there are some i take a stronger tone with.