Scared 3 Year Old

Something must have frightened him. I wouldn't make a big deal, that will only scare him worse. Just be supportive eventually he will probably overcome or forget his fear.

Hi S.,

Your son is probably just becoming more aware of the world and it's scary side. This is very normal. Little kids have great imaginations and it sometimes makes normal things very scary.

L.

Hi S.,
It's weird the noises that kids find scary--my son used to freak out at the sound of our ice maker! I would definitely limit tv--my 5 year old son is leery of anything that even hints at being scary or violent.
Also, when he hears a noise, say "what was that? I think it was just the xyz turning on" or "that was just a big truck going past"
He's probably just paying more attention to what's going on around him--even the news on the tv in the background can freak kids out.
It's probably just a phase he's going through. I would try to ask him what he is afraid of and explain what the noises are. Show him cause and effect examples.
If it's a "scared of the dark" issue, go into his room with him and show him--you can even use a flashlight--that the same stuff is in his room when it is light or dark.
Is he sleeping ok in his room at night?

This may sound really cruel but my 4 yr old was still using binky so i put a little hot sauce on it.broke him real quick. Do not use alot just a dab.

similarly to what the others have said, I feel that he's going through two normal developmental phases. Like my 3year old, he sounds very imaginative and that combined with the knowledge he's acquiring about the world is making him feel uncertain right now. It's kinds hard but I would sugest a good balance between acknowledging his feelings of fear as real but trying not to dwell on them too much. AND if you find a good way of doing this let me know ;-) My son sometimes goes through not wanting to be in his room alone, he sees all sorts of things in the shadows. We sometimes end up letting one of our dogs sleep with him. Of course, sometimes he doesn't want the dog option, saying "chloe bothers me when I'm trying to sleep." Good luck!

Hi S.. I'm a grandmom who watches my 2 granddaughters fairly often. The youngest (20 months) is very bright and articulate for her age. Lately she keeps using the phrase "that doesn't scare me" as if reassuring herself. I've noticed a couple of the educational children's show (Noggin for one) addresses being scared of things. Observing a recent show, it occurred to me the message about why not to be afraid seems very subtle for even our 3 1/2 year old. They were picking up on the "scarey" parts, but not hearing the the full message. Much of what I've read relative to how children learn, is that it comes from conversation, explanation and hands on activity, and not "educational" TV, video, etc. These young ones are being bombarded with amounts of information that leaves my head spinning. I think we have to be very clear about what they are hearing, thinking, and processing.
God bless, Grandmom

Is it possible he could have peeked without you knowing at a scary movie? We used to sit at the top of the stairs when I was a kid and peek at the TV my parents were watching. Luckily it was never anything bad. Occasionally we'd get caught.
Also imagintive kids do seem to get scared more.
Think aobut some of the places you have been where there may be scary things there you may not be aware of for example the video store. Usually there are horror movies in with the new realease and some right at their level. That could put an image in his mind. Video game covers are another.
Also my children are not allowed to be in the same room as someone watching regualer TV. Why? Becuase the commercials are sometimes atrocious. There are commercials for other TV shows that show violence or scary situations. It is suprising how many people dont even realize that. Even sometimes between sports games there are adverts that are inappropriate.
My MIL was once watching TV with my kids in the room. The show was not bad but an ad for another TV show in ther commercial break showed a man with a knife up to someones neck. I had walked into the room just at that time to witness that and could see the shock on my childrens faces. My MIL never batted an eyelid. She was so used to it it didnt occur to her that my then 6 and 4 yr old would be scared. I quickly shephered them out of the room nad promised myself there would be no adult TV around my kids.
So scary things get in in subtle ways. Double check the magazines in your house. Children are very innocent and we unfortunaltely as a society have gotten used to some of the images we are exposed to which are scary for kids.

I can tell from your message, and from my own personal experience, that this must be a trying time for your son, and for you and your husband. Since this fear seems to be a new phenomenon, you might want to inquire of your babysitter, or preschool teachers about some new, perhaps frightening experience he has had recently. It could have come from listening to a book which frightened him. We do not experience profound fear in a vacuum. If it is not a sitter with whom you inquire, perhaps you may inquire from a family member who might have been alone with him during some frightening experience. In my own experience, and in my professional life, I have learned that children share personal thoughts or fears at unexpected moments; in the bathtub, with seemingly nothing to prompt it, driving in the car, etc. The sentence might begin: Mommy ...... and then you have some idea of the event. Or of course, it might be Daddy ..... and your husband will have an idea. Treat whatever you find out in a calm, mannerly, everyday tone, so as not to make the "sharing" something extaordinary.

In the meantime, give him all the support and love that he needs, perhaps more than on a usual basis.

From a mama/nana who just recently joined you.

Our 3 almost 4 year old son has been going through something similar. Not quite as severe. We recently got an alarm system on the house. I told him that the alarm man was installing monster alarms on his windows. That seems to have helped a lot.

I'm not telling you to go out and buy an alarm system. I'm suggesting you go the cheaper make believe way. Sit down with your son and make a monster (or whatever he is afraid of) alarm system. You can use old metal toys or beads to make a windchime type of alarm that will make noise if someone or thing was to try to come in his window. You could use toilet paper rolls and decorate them like cameras and set them up in his room and other areas of the house and tell him they are cameras to watch for special things regular people can't see or lasers to take care of any monsters that get by the window alarms. You might be surprised how much it helps. My thought is make believe alarms systems are great for taking care of make believe fears.

Of course, if I were you I would also try to talk to my son about his fears to find out what exactly is scaring him. The make believe alarms only work on make believe fears. ;)

Good luck. I hope this helps.

Did something happen to him while he was alone? Something had to of scared the wits out of him. Have you asked him? Sounds like you need to slowly show him there is nothing to be afraid of. Make sure you are strong for him, and that no one tries to be funny about scaring him just to get a laugh.

Has anything in his normal routine changed? We are experiencing the same issue with our 3 1/2 yr old son and the Dr. seems to think it is from me being off work on maternity leave with him (and our new baby) for 7 weeks and then going back to work?

Good luck with everything!

I think this is perfectly normal. My girl, now 5, is just coming out of it. When she insisted, and when possible, I would go with her. Sometimes I stood nearby and encouraged her to go the rest of the way alone. I told her I'm always here and God is with her and we would not let anything happen.