Scatter Brained 7 Year Old Girl!!!!

Aren't scatter brained girls so frustrating! I have a 9 year old who is just the same. She drives my husband absolutely crazy. Being much more laid back I take it in stride. She has always been scatter brained (like my sister). What we ended up doing is at first we would stand with her and make certain that she had everything. We then started making it her responsibility to make certain that everything was together. It was a process. We started with listing everything she needed and as she would have them over time we shortened the list we would verbally go through (i.e. do you ahve your homework, gloves, hat, coat etc. to do you have everything you need?). We also started having her repeat back what we told her to do. It helps with memory as well as making certain that she actually heard what we told her. Over time (we have been working on this for 4 years but the time will vary by child) we have started redirecting her. She is now to the point that she may scatter but simply asking her what she is supposed to be doing will get her to redirect. it is so frustrating but it does seem to work (my folks used this on my sister too). Biggest thing, don't get mad or angry. Part of her behaviour is just being a kid. We all can get distracted at times. The cheerleading is actually a good idea as she will have to learn to focus and get her things together in order to remember the cheers. Also, make certain you set boundries as to what you will "clean up" for your child. One thing I finally ended up doing with my own daughter is stop bringing this she forgot to school etc for her. I took the stance that it is her responsibility to remember these items and if she gets a poor grade or can't go on a field trip etc it is not my problem. By placing responsibility on you child to keep track of things especially for outings and activities she will have no choice but to start forcing herself to remember. I can tell you that in the year that I starting placing responsibility on my daughter to remember her own stuff she has really gotten so much better. I am not getting phone calls at home to bring this or that anymore and I made her teachers and coaches aware that I would not bring things if she forgets them. My daughter no long walks out hte door without her homework or projects and is always certain to bring any costumes or items needed on her own. I do still ask the "Do you have everything?" question and she now can list off what she needed and is bringing.

Good luck and hope this helps.

I just read about an interesting approach to homework at the end of the school day. You have 3 bins set up. Immediately after walking in the door your daughter would empty her backpack into the first bin...everything. Then the 2nd bin has a snack for her. She can go watch tv, play, anything while she finishes her snack. Then when snack is finished she goes back to the 1st bin and sorts out her homework. She puts it in order that she would like to finish it and then places it in the 3rd bin. Then she sorts through the rest of the things in the 1st bin, throwing away trash, giving you permission slips and so on. Then everything that is left goes back in the backpack. Then she goes back to the 3rd bin and as she finishes the work she puts it back in the backpack. I haven't actually tried the method because I do not have children that age but it sounds like a good approach. Hope this helps!

Develop a structured schedule for her. At first you will have be tough until she gets used to the schedule. A sticker chart is a good idea just hit the important highlights. Update the chart as needed to reflect any changes that come up. Approach it as a project you are doing together! Good Luck

Sounds very frustrating...I would recommend having her tested with a psychologist,(not a psychiatrist), could be ADD, Auditory Processing Disorder, Memory problems, or simply genetics playing a role. You do not need a referral to get an appointment with a psychologist. Good Luck.

How do you respond when she goes off track? There needs to be an effort on both your part and hers in making sure that she knows she needs to focus on what she's doing instead of letting herself get distracted.

You may want to try giving her some supplements like b6, Omega-3s, and gingko to help her focus. There's also an herbal formula that comes in a kid's syrup. It's developed for people with ADD, so it's made to help with focus and clarity. Here's a link for it: http://www.herbalfitness.com/focus1.shtml

Have you had your daughter tested for ADD? My younger brother, who is now 15-yrs.-old, sounds exactly like your daughter. He's smart, fun, athletic, great guy. He started having problems at school when he was little....(1st-2nd grade)....simply because he couldn't stay focused. Didn't finish classroom assignments, lost books, lost homework, didn't know what his homework assignments were supposed to be, etc., etc., etc. My heart has gone out to him over the years because his grades effected his self esteem. Finally, when he was about 9 or 10-yrs.-old, my folks had him tested. He was diagnosed ADD and started meds., etc. The meds made a huge difference.

Your little girl may be simply scatter brained. BUT...she could have a disorder for which treatment could really affect her life and self-esteem. You may want to consider it. Good luck!

HI. YOU MAY NOT WANT TO HEAR THIS BUT THAT IS ALL SIGNS OF ADD/ADHD. ADD IS THE ATTENTION PART. IF SHE IS NOT IMPULSIVE, IT WOULDN'T BE ADHD, BUT FORGETTING THINGS, NOT FINISHING TASK, NOT DOING WELL IN SCHOOL AND UNORGANIZED ARE SIGNS OF ADD. MY 8 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS ALSO JUST LIKE YOURS EXCEPT SHE IS IMPULSIVE, TEMPERMENTAL, AND AGGRESIVE WHICH IS THE ADHD. TONI MAKES FRIENDS EXTREMELY EASY, SHE IS VERY LOVABLE, EAGER TO PLEASE, FORGETFUL, UNORGANIZED, THE LIST GOES ON. ANYWAY SHE WAS TESTED AND IT IS NOW A HUGE TURN AROUND. SHE IS USUALLY ORGANIZED(SOMETIMES THE NORMAL FORGETFULNESS DOES HAPPEN), GRADES WENT FROM FAILING TO A'S AND B'S, FINISHES TASK, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY SHE IS STILL HERSELF. YOU MAY WANT TO TALK TO HER DOCTOR, BECAUSE I TOO DID NOT THINK IT WAS, BUT SURE ENOUGH SHE HAS IT. WHAT HAPPENS WITH ADD/ADHD IS THAT WHEN TRYING TO PERFORM A TASK INSTEAD OF GOING FROM POINT A TO POINT B, IT GOES A THEN PIT STOPS C-Z THEN VENTORS BACK TO B. BY THE TIME IT ARRIVES WHERE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO THEY ALREADY FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE DOING. THEY ARE VERY CURIOS AND WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING GOING ON IN THIER SURROUNDINGS. IT IS NOTHING YOU DONE IT JUST HAPPENS. SOME PEOPLE THINK ADD'ADHD DIAGNOSES IS A JOKE, OR JUST A CRUTCH, BUT BELIEVE ME IT IS REAL. ANY PARENT THAT HAS DEALT WITH KNOWS IT CAN BE HETIC AND STRESSFUL. MY DAUGHTER EVEN SAYS MOM I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER WHEN I TAKE IT. WELL IF YOU ARE LIKE I WAS, I COULDN'T DEAL WITH THE DIAGONSES. SO AFTER STARTING THE MEDS, SHE STARTED BLOOMING IN SCHOOL. I THOUGHT HOW DO I KNOW SHE IS NOT MATURING AND THAT IS WHY SHE IS DOING A COMPLETE TURN AROUND. SO I TOOK HER OFF THE MEDS WITHOUT THE SCHOOL OR DOCTOR KNOWING. WITHIN 4 DAYS I RECEIVED MULTIPLE NOTES DAILY FROM THE TEACHERS SAYING TONI CAN'T DO HER WORK, SHE STARTS THINGS AND IS NOT COMPLETEING IT, SHE NOT TAKING PART IN THE DISCUSSIONS ANYMORE, SHE RAISES HER HAND AND WHEN I CALL ON HER AHE FORGETS WHAT SHE IS SAYING OR CAN'T REMEMBER THE ANSWER, THE IMPULSIVENESS HAS RETURNED. SHE CAN'T STAY IN HER SEAT, SHE JERKING PAPERS FROM OUR HANDS, SEE IS THROWING THINGS, THAT CONTINUED FOR A WEEK, THEN I PUT HER BACK ON THE MEDS AND THEN NO MORE NOTES. THERE IS ONE NON-STIMULANT DRUG ON THE MARKET. IT IS STRATTERA. TONI DID WONDERFUL ON IT FOR ABOUT 3 YEARS BUT IT NO LONGER WORKS FOR HER AND NOW SHE IS ON CONCERTA. IT TAKES THE EDGE OFF. ANOTHER THING I WAS SCARED TO DEATH ABOUT WAS I DON'T WANT A DIFFERENT CHILD I WANT MY DAUGHTER THAT I GAVE BIRTH TO. I WANT HER JUST THE WAY SHE IS, THE LOVING, FRIENDLY BUBBLY LITTLE GIRL. THE TRUTH IS SHE IS STILL LIKE THAT. THE MEDS ARE TO CONTROL THE BAD STUFF, WHILE NOT CHANGING THE CHILD. I WAS TOLD IF AT ANY TIME SHE ACTS DIFFERENT, CALL THE DOC BECAUSE THE MEDS ARE TO STRONG OR NOT AGREEING WITH HER. SO THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE MUMMIES OUT OF OUR KIDS.
I HOPE THIS HELPED. IF MY DAUGHTER ACTIONS REMINDS YOU OF YOUR DAUGHTER PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE, YOUR DAUGHTER WILL THANK YOU. BUT THOSE ARE ALL CLASSIC SIGNS OF ADD.
PLEASE FEEL TO MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT MORE INFO ON MY DAUGHTER. OR IF YOU WANT SOME HELP TO DECIDE WHAT STEP TO DO FIRST.

My daughter is 8 and we went through that! She's doing much better, but it was as difficult for my husband and I not to loose our cool. I got to be very good friends with the school receptionst running over lunch money or mittens that were often left behind.
My daughter often got frustrated when she forgot things and I think that because it bothered her so much, that's why it was probably a bit easier to help her get on track. We did a lot of repeating to make sure she got the correct message, there was a lot lost when messages traveled from her ears to her head... I think that unless it's bothering her as much as it's bothering you, you might be in for a bit of a struggle. Maybe show her how much easier life can be when you get organized, or put a schedule together.
One thing that really helped my daughter was post-its. It was a nice suprise I hadn't thought of, but it was something she had started doing on her own! I would notice post-its she had left herself on her desk, on her dresser, sometimes on the bathroom mirror. She was starting to become more proficiant at writing and the post-it's had been a stocking stuffer. I was suprised that she had taken it opon herself to start leaving herself notes, but it worked! Maybe offer up that suggestion to your daughter.
Whatever plan you decide to go with, I would suggest tackling the issue together. If she's not keen on your plan of attack from the get go, life is going to be harder than it needs to be. Besides, you might be suprised in what your daughter comes up with!
Good luck!