Screaming Wakeups for 2 1/2 Year Old

My son does that occasionally, mostly when he's overtired in general. (And yes, he does have night terrors, and those are worse when he's overtired too) Could you adjust her sleep schedule and see if that helps?

At 2 and 1/2 she is way old enough to be taught not to do things with enforcement. Is she really waking up screaming, like in pain or from a nightmare, or does she wake up and decide to scream? If she is deciding to scream, CIO is ignoring and allowing tantrums, not self soothing like for babies.

My 2 year old son had to learn to wake up quietly in the mornings because his baby sister sleeps in the same room. He gets up, tiptoes out, comes to get us. We taught him with a few warnings not to be loud, which was all it took since we are consistent with discipline at other times, we never needed to enforce. But you may need to teach her with enforcement. In the morning, treat it like a rule and start to give her a consequence if she refuses to "not scream" after a calm warning. She will soon learn that when she doesn't scream, she has a happy fabulous morning, and if she does, she gets a negative consequence. Believe me, she'll choose to not get the consequence. If you're ONLY positive and nice about it all the time, she'll do it as long as she wants to.

During the night, I would make sure she is eating and exercising enough all day to prevent her waking, and don't let her scream then either. If you dont' want to discipline her in the middle of the night, then sit with her and do whatever, but don't let her wake the neighbors, she needs to learn it's not OK. If you start enforcing in the morning, maybe it will clue her in at night too.

This is tough - you might ask your pediatrician for other ways to help her, but as far as I know, it's night terrors. My son had them, though not as frequently, and he was not really awake. Sometimes he didn't recognize me at all, then would come for comfort. You can't always get them back down right away, though you can comfort them when they calm enough to let you. He doesn't really have them anymore (he'll be 3 next month), just very occassionally.

Their brains are changing a lot at this point, their imagination is waking up. I think they're starting to REALLY dream. Imagine if you had never really dreamed before, and then suddenly - there they are - we'd freak out!

If you're embarrassed and worried re. the neighbors, be honest - she's having night terrors, and they'll go away, but you don't know when exactly. If they've been parents, they'll understand.

I have a small nightlight in my sons room, he sleeps on a twin size mattress and I keep a toddler mattress next to it, so I can lie with him till he calms down. And it's comfortable enough that I can fall asleep if I need to :)

Is she really awake?

My son had night terrors at that age...he wasn't awake, so it is worse for you. I held him because he would thrash around if I didn't. Does she seem well rested and/or not remember waking up? They are very common.

If she is awake, I don't think you can "coach" het...there are kiddos who just wake up screaming. Remember, at this age they are learning so much about trust and security. Respond and you will teach her that people are reliable and safe. Let her cry it out and she will learn that they are not there for you.

That is a lesson that can be learned later in life when she has the emotional tools to self soothe, but right now, she needs mom and dad.

I was exhausted with my first. He woke every 2 hours til he was 2 and wakes crying 2 times a night. My second has been sleeping 9 hours since he was 4 weeks old. Different kiddos, different needs.

How about throwing a mattress on your floor...is she in a big girl bed yet? And let her sleep there for a while to give you more sleep. And trade off...one night, you drag her in to the other room over your shoulder and the next night your husband does. I found that most of the time not saying anything to my son, just putting him over my shoulder and either bringing him to our bed (we do believe in co-sleeping, but it will give you more sleep no matter what your beliefs) or going pee and then putting him back in bed worked.

Good luck.

My almost 2yo has similar episodes. She will wake up screaming in the night and some mornings. This has been going on for at least 9 mos. I did ask my peditrician and she gave me advice which I follow: Sometimes she isn't awake and she cannot be consoled so CIO is the only way it works for her. The way I judge is if she is laying down and crying/screaming I leave her. If she is sitting up, I go and tend to her usually offer her water or a hug with reassurance and then put her back down.

I have noticed they are not a frequent as she is getting older.

As for the mornings, I think you can explain to her that she doesn't need to cry for you, but maybe calling your name instead. I know my daughter, if I don't hear her talking or waking up, will get antsy and either start to whine or call for me to get up and start her day.

The terrors are scary for baby and parents! Good luck.

What does the doctor say? She may have an underlying condition?...

I can second Megan T regarding the morning screams. My son used to wake up hollering; it was an awful way to be awakened in the morning. When he was about 18 months and getting better at using words, we told him to call for us in the morning. "You don't need to holler, you can just say 'Mommy"". After a few days, it took, and now every morning, he just says over and over "Mommy, Daddy, Otto" (yes, that's the dog) until we get down to him. And then we go in and say, "Good morning; I heard you calling." Good luck!

I'd agree with Wendy that you should consider the possibility of Night Terrors. If she doesn't remember the episode or complain about a bad dream, chances are, it's night terrors. Both of my kids have had episodes of them (our daughter as young as 6 months). It should resolve itself, but if it's a consistent problem as it seems from your question, I'd recommend calling the pediatrician just to be sure there isn't something else going on.

If you're concerned about the neighbors, I'd mention to them that you are working to resolve the issue. But, I'm guessing that most of those old row houses have brick walls between them helping to muffle almost all of the sound.

I wouldn't use the Crying it Out method until you know what's causing this to happen.

Here's some information on sleep disorders in pediatric patients:
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/presch...

Hi, B.:

Do not let your babycry it out. Baby's need comfort from caretaker's to fee safe in their environment.

Does your baby have gas?

Spend time with your baby to nurture her. contact the International Association of Infant Massage and learn some ways to manage her stress.

Good luck. Keep the faith. It is a struggle for you all, but it will pay off in the long run to be nurturing and loving during this stressful time.

You are good parents and very loving and kind. It takes courage to ask for help. Give yourself credit for seeking help.
Good luck. D.

I agree with what everyone else said. It sounds like night terrors, or maybe if not that severe, nightmares.

Do you really want to teach her (if it's just nightmares that she'll remember) that you won't comfort her and be there when something scary wakes her up? I woudn't think so.

If it's night terrors, chances are she won't remember waking up but I'd still try to comfort her and at least be in her room until she calms down and goes back to sleep.

That being said, I've never been a huge fan of CIO.

As far as screaming in the morning, does she wake up and starts screaming for you? Does she wake up in a dark room? When you go and get her in the morning, explain to her that when she wakes up, she can yell for you but doesn't have to scream. She's probably screaming because if you are doing CIO, she thinks she needs to scream in order for you to hear her (if she thinks you are ignoring her).

I think earplugs would be a nice/comical way to explain to the neighbors what is going on. Chances are if they have kids they have been through what you have or at least know of someone else who has...

Good luck!