It is with a heavy heart that i share this news and plead for your help. My 40 year old sister has miscarried 4 times over the past year and 1/2. Most recently she became pregnant with twins (through IVF) and lost them both at 6 months gestation. They are both devastated. This happened 7 months ago. They are working with an adoption agency in San Fran. They have had no luck with getting a healthy baby. They have a wonderful Dear Birth Mother letter that i have and am willing to give out. If you know of any teenager or anyone else who finds themselves pregnant and unable to keep the baby, please let me know.The couple would make amazing parents. They have a very good income and live a great life in San Fransisco.
Adopting through foster care can be a faster process - there are a lot of misconceptions and mis-truthes about adopting through foster care, so research it before writing it off. Also, most birthmoms who make an adoption plan are in their 20s - not teenagers, so keep that in mind as far as where to look for a birthmom who is making an adoption plan.
If they are open to diversity in their family, they will find it easier to adopt in the US. One of my friends adopted a hispanic newborn in CA and she is a single parent. She used a web-based facilitator who is located in CA. If you google you will find it and she nagged the agency a lot. I am a member of a single mom's group and all the want to be moms are now moms - whether through IUI, IVF, donor embryos, surrogates, domestic adoption, fostering/adoption, international adoption. If they really want a child, they will succeed. Very best of luck.
I am sorry for your family's loss, and can only imagine how difficult this must be for your sister and her husband.
That being said, I find the criterion of "getting a healthy baby" somewhat disconcerting. Although one certainly hopes for the best in all situations, there is no guarantee that even a biological baby will be born healthy. Perhaps if your sister and BIL become more accepting, it will increase their chances of being adoptive parents.
I wish you and your family the best of luck.
Hello L.,
I do not know of anyone that is looking to place but, as a birth mother I can tell you that the adoption process is a long waiting game. I don't know how long that they have been with an agency but, just because they are with an agency doesn't mean instant results. Some couples have been with agencies for a couple of years with no results. There are other ways to attract prospective birth mothers. They can place ads in college newspapers and local papers using their "birthmother letter" and pass along the desire to adopt to friends. When a prospective birth mom makes contact, and there is a connection there for the birth mom, the couple can refer her to the agency that they are working with. Depending on the type support that agency offers the birth mother it would help her with counseling in the final decision and give her support after placement. I know that it feels like an urgent thing and the desire to be parents is so great. The reality is, adoption is a process tht moves at its own pace and patience is key and a must. Good luck! I hope they get their little miracle soon.
Hi L.,
I recommend having your sister and brother in law check out the website that I copied and pasted below. Even though she is working with an agency already, creating a profile on this website will give her more exposure.
http://www.parentprofiles.com/create/account/
Best of luck to your sister. I had infertility issues and I consider myself lucky because I was able to deliver twins with IVF at 30.5 wks gestation with a good ending. My heart goes out to women who try so hard to become pregnant and when they finally do the outcome is devasting like in your sister's case. Good luck to your sister on her journey to become a mom!
J.
How much they must appreciate you. I have a ten year old adopted son and exactly what you are doing is how we found his birthmom. Tell the world they are adopting. It is amazing how the connections sometimes come about. The best advice our lawyer ever gave us was, adoption is different than treatment. If you keep at it you WILL end up with a child, you don't know when but it WILL happen! And it does. I will keep my eyes and ears open for them.
I have no advice but just wanted to send best wishes to your sister and hope they find success in their pursuit for adoption.
Hi - I am so sorry for your sister and brother in law's loss. I am an adoptive parent to a wonderful and adorable 2 year old - I thought I would never get through the process. Keep the faith - It was a very short process for me and my husband - we used an agency in Skokie. If they would like more information or just like to talk about the process I would be more than happy to.
Please let me know.
