What are some of your top struggles as a mother? As a wife with kids? I will be teaching/sharing at a mom's club and would appreciate your inputs.
I had a great time at the moms' clubs, sharing what moms struggled with. We narrowed it down to fear, of not balancing it all, of our kids getting hurt, of not being there enough, the fear list was endless. We talked about how to cope with fear by having faith. The moms had a great time sharing their struggles. We also had fun learning how to cook a Thai dish after, by a chef. It was a great time of bonding and relaxation. Thanks everyone for your input!
Hi L.,
Well, honestly, as a homeschooling mom also, I have a difficult time switching from teacher/mom to wife/lover.
Date nights really help, as do a yearly weekend getaway, but the daily switch is difficult.
Interesting topic! For me, one of my top struggles is dealing with my own "guilt". It's almost like I feel guilty for not being "the perfect super-mom". I feel bad for not having time to do the dishes, I feel bad for not playing with my daughter while I DO do the dishes, I feel bad when I take 20 minutes to myself while my daughter naps instead of doing housework, I feel bad for staying home all day with my daughter because she didn't get to interact with other kids that day, I feel bad when I have to leave my daughter with a sitter, I feel bad for my husband when I have to leave our daughter with him for a few hours because I feel like "he works hard all day and now he has to "work" at night too, taking care of her - that's suppose to be "my job"." and the list goes on! These are all things that go through my head on an every week basis. I AM getting better, and my husband is great at reassuring me that NO ONE is perfect and can "do it all". He tells me that our daughter is smart, good tempered, and generally happy - so I must be doing SOMETHING right! And as for taking time to myself - it gets easier! My husband reminds me constantly that I DO work hard every day, and deserve a break once in a while. Thank God he is so great! It helps me not be so "crazy" about wanting to be "perfect". It's still definitely a struggle though. As mothers, I think a lot of us feel like our kids are soo great they deserve so much more than we could ever offer them, but truthfully, all they need/want is our unconditional love. That is # 1 in importance.
Organization. Knowing how to organize my house, my time, my finances, my priorties has always been a struggle for me. This wasn't the case when I worked but that was more structured time and I got compensate for all that work with a paycheck, annual bonuses and a heavy dose of praise every once in a while. Now that I'm a SAHM, I have so much more unstructured time on my hands that I've always felt a little bit lost and procrastination has really been a foe of mine. I'm either a "do everything at once" or "do nothing" type of gal. I'd really like to learn how to pace myself better and be more efficient.
Sophie A hit the nail on the head for me. Along with each beautiful baby, I also gave birth to a big ball of guilt. Guilt for not being super woman. Since my kids are 7 and 4, I've learned to accept being "good enough". Others mentioned balance, and that's still something I'm learning to do. Being a stay at home writer, my work life is constantly interrupted by my home life. Also striking a balance between kids' activities and time at home.... it can get tough sometimes. Good luck with your talk!
Being on 24/7, with no lunch break, no quiting time after 5:00 pm, no sick days, no vacation etc. You are in constant demand. I think what is most difficult is when you are a SAHM, and you think that once your husband is home, you will recieve help. Well that is rarely the case, thus causing stress in the marriage because expectations are not being met.For me, i just need to reamin thankful for my children and the oppurtunity to stay home. Once i remember that and quit complaining... i am ready for duty!
Just being the default "Cinderella" of the ENTIRE home... and then "remembering" amongst ALL the things we Moms do 24/7... that we ALSO have to be a "Cinderella of the Ball" and 'remember' that Hubby has needs too. (wink). And, that Hubby gets lost it the shuffle too. Tending to a marriage and relationship is even MORE important once you have kids. And it adds to the MULTITUDE of things we have to "prioritize" because everything is a priority once you have kids= stress!
And yes, Mom's do NOT have any time off or holidays or anything. And as a SAHM, it's not like I get a "salary" for it. As my Hubby says... I do it all and am his 'rock.'
Now when in the world do we go and get our pedicures! I'm still trying to get mine! LOL
Such a big topic -- as a mom -- the hardest issue is probably sleep -- theirs and thus mine.. and they go in cycles, so knowing what to do at each stage is difficult. Typically a rested child is a happy child -- but they have to 'learn' how to sleep by themselves, a big struggle (with my 2nd anyway)
As a wife and full-time-work-from-home mom -- very difficult as it sometimes seems that you're doing 'everything', even if your husband helps out, it never quite seems enough so you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders,and it seems that you're never quite doing anything 'right'or not doing enough -- work, being a mom, attention to husband and house, etc.
best of luck!
Never having enough alone time. While I loved my kids, when they where little it felt like they invaded every moment of my day. I guess that is balanced by now by the fact that as teen's they never want to spend time with me.
I'm a SAHM and my top struggle is housework. I'm by no means a neat-freak but I like having a nice-smelling, organized home. I just can't seem to keep my house consistently clean. A common sight around my house is piles of day-old dishes and carpet stains. I find it diificult to balance quality time with my family and friends and get all my damn chores done. It's usually the chores that get das boot. I figure it's always gonna be there. And it's such monotonous, boring work. My top struggle with being married with kids are our differing opinions.
I think it is very good that you are going to be speaking on this topic. Best of luck to you with your presentation. I believe organizational skills is one of the biggest struggles, especially how to get rid of clutter in the house. Also, having time for myself and not feeling like I have to do it all to keep the house running. I would say another thing that is worrisome at times is how to encourage interaction between my husband who works all day, and the children. My husband comes home and wants downtime, but at times we have trouble finding a balance. Hope you get some good ideas here.
#1 what happened to MY life?
Balancing the demands of a career with the time and attention my daughter needs & deserves...all while remembering to take care of myself!
