Should I Encourage My Daughter to Attend Her 1St Middle School Dance?

Updated on April 27, 2018
J.N. asks from Clarksburg, MD
11 answers

My daughter is a bit shy and my guess is that she won’t feel ready to go to her first middle school dance. I think it would best to allow her to feel comfortable with the idea and go whenever she feels ready, but I would appreciate inputs in this subject. Thanks!

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Let her know she can go if she wants to. If this is something they dress up for, tell her she would need to decide by x-date to leave time to get a dress/shoes or whatever if that's applicable. Otherwise, leave it in her hands.

3 moms found this helpful

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I encouraged my son to go to the FIRST middle school dance only because it was the first and it would be a new thing for EVERYBODY attending. It would have been much harder for him to choose to go later on after a couple more dances. I remember how it felt when you thought everybody knew the ropes but you. He went to the first one and really didn't enjoy himself so he didn't go to any more, but at least he tried and it was a level playing field for him, when he did go.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

My son is in high school and has not gone to any dances. My other son is in middle school and hasn't asked to go to any dances.
I, personally, would rather they didn't go! They have very active lives with soccer, school, friends and family. There really isn't a reason to go.
My opinion, which I have NEVER shared with them....and my husband believes completely differently than me....High school dances are a waste of money, put a lot of pressure on the kids, and are dumb. I can't imagine spending so much on a dress, limo, food, flowers...just seems like a waste to me.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

You can encourage her to go but really it's her choice. This is a social activity and should be totally optional.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Let her make her own decision on this.
In middle school kids start taking more control of their social life.
Everyone goes through an awkward stage at one time or another and sometimes you just don't feel like mingling - and that's fine.

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A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

yes, let her decide! And stop worrying about it, she hasn't even said she doesn't want to go yet, you're just guessing that she won't. slow down mama! :)

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J.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I think you should bring up the school dance, and ask her if any of her friends are going, if it sounds like fun, etc. Let her know that you will help her find something to wear if she decides she wants to go. Then let her decide.

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T.D.

answers from New York on

depends on the kids in her class. my sons class i would definitely encourage him to go to something like this.
my daughters class? not so much. i would ask her, and see if she wanted to go, and if not let it be.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I volunteered at all the middle school dances. My kids could be in the gym dancing or in the cafeteria with me. The teachers chaperoned the dance area and The parents handled the snacks.
So, I suggest you volunteer and make her go - “because I’ll be there helping and it would be weird if I’m there and you aren’t”. She gets the experience of the dance with you as a safety net.
Just my 2 cents...

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S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Does she have friends who are interested in going? I know most kids like showing up together.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i would for sure encourage her. offer to take her shopping, to get a manicure, maybe a professional makeup session. play up how fun it could be.

but ultimately it should be up to her. if she's just a little shy, some encouragement and help (even role playing so she's prepared to handle being asked to dance, and how to accept or decline, and some simple dance moves if she's not a dancer by inclination) will probably help tip her over.

if she's genuinely paralyzed with social terror at the prospect i wouldn't force it.

does she enjoy different sorts of social activities?
khairete
S.

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