My 4 month old daughter's father left me when I was six months pregnant. We was living together at the time. It was told threw a mutual friend he is now engaged to get married. I never confirmed fully with him but he did admit to being in a relationship. He broke my heart. He gives me money for the baby's daycare every week nothing more or less. He asks to have her over night one time out of the week but it is difficult for me to even conversate with him. I was there for him through all his ups and downs the moment I need him the most he leaves. I am trying to look at the bright side that at least he is available to ask for assistance (whether he agrees/or not). My oldest daughter's father moved away to florida and went MIA for 3 yrs. With me allowing the baby to go spend that time with him I feel like I am a surrogate mother to him and his fiancee, when I wasn't given the choice to do so. I know time heals all wombs but time is of the essence. It hurts now! I don't want any involvement with him at all don't want to know he even exists. How can i just seperate my feelings from my daughter's quality time with her father at this age when I have to be the one to get her dress and tell him how she is doing?
Thank you all for your comments!! It is greatly appreciated. I believe that it is too soon now to have him around. I don't mind when she is older about 2 yrs +. She is not going to recall him being around now anyway. So I called him and told him. He said he will wait until I come around in regards to spending the night with him and he will still come by saturday morning to bring the money order and see her. But even that I can't deal with, he could send the check in the mail. I did not have a baby to keep him in my life. He made the decision to leave me. In reality he left her also because he is not there on a daily basis. His once a week visits wasn't making a difference either. (picking her up at 7pm and dropping her off by 8 am). Having us work around his availability. I can't pick and choose when I want to watch her! It works better this way.
I know how you feel i was with my kids father for 6 years and then i found him with a close friend if mine, shortly after that he got a married women pregnant. I hated him then and I still do, but you have to put your difference aside and let him be a father. at least he is there for his baby. oh and trust me f@#* the girl friend she will never be a mom to your baby, your her mother.
Hi, J., its a hard long journey, but you'll overcome it in time to come, I know you love your daughter very much, so the little interaction with the dad is a sacrifice you'll have to make, you don't want to alienate the child from her father.
Cut your losses, accept what he can give, and be happy that you never maried him...that would hurt even more.
In the mean time, let the focus be you and yours. Eff everybody else, lol...
Hi J., i deal with babydaddy problems, my daughter is 11 and just 1 year ago her father started seeing her. He hurt me really bad and i was in no hurry to see him ever again. But in the back of my mind i knew eventually he was going to want to see her and she was going to want to see him. I held grudges against him for a long time. But because i saw the way my daughter smiles everytime he picks her up. I put my anger and my grugdes aside because i was happy that my daughter was happy and that she is spending quality time with her father.
Girl i feel you! It is hard but i must give you some advice what goes around comes around .. I know it don;t make sence now but it will in time and don't wait for it to happen to him it will it always does. I went through being left alone to raise my daughetr and i didn't want her father to see her either. As a mother i was protecting her. My daughter is now 13 and i thank god i gave him hell to see her and believe me she don't blame me for any thing like people would always tell me she would. You do wahat you feel is right .
