OMG girlfriend. Follow your heart. This is your baby, your blood. I hate to say it, but pediatricians give horrible advice all the time. I don't know why they do it or why they think it's ok. It's not and it is our responsibility as mothers to take control and educate ourselves on things like feeding and sleeping and behavioral issues. It's overwhelming to me as a mother! You want to trust them and know you're getting the best information from them, am I right? Don't get me wrong, our pediatrician is wonderful and I love her to pieces. But after going through some early issues with my first son (breastfeeding issues), I started to realize that 1) she didn't have all the answers, and 2) some of the answers she was giving me were not correct (after doing my own research and witnessing my son's issues get resolved). It was at that point I realized I had to take all her information, guidance and advice with caution, and if it went against my instincts, I ignored it. Now I have a BIG 22lb baby who is 99% exclusively breast fed. At his 6 mo visit, she was adamant about him eating solids 3x a day. My first son loved food and I was excited to start baby no. 2 on solids. Well, after 6 wks of SLOWLY introducing just a couple of foods to him (not even cereal b/c I hate that stuff) I noticed he was getting more and more constipated and then he eventually stopped pooping altogether! (I had gone back to only breastmilk the week before). Poor kid went over 7 dys and I finally had to give him a suppository - horrible. He's had a couple issues since and 2 wks later we are slowly getting back to normal w/ him pretty much only on breast milk and prunes. Why am I telling you all this? Not sure! ;-) No, it's b/c I went in to the doc with him last week about a cold and we talked about his constipation issue and she said I should put him on Muralax or something like that and she said that some kids have to be on the stuff for a years. RED FLAG! First, foods before 12 mos are just an introduction to solids. Tastes, textures, etc. There is little to no nutritional need for it. Babies get that from breast milk and formula. So why would I force solids on my 8 mo old if he is obviously not ready to digest them correctly?!? And then load him up w/ medicine to fix the problem short term? At 22 lbs, he's surely getting enough milk! If he's still having digestive issues as an older child, I will def look into fixing the issue naturally, not w/ medicine!
The BEST book on sleeping issues, for me, was "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." This book was written by a mother of 4 , all of whom had different issues with sleep. She despises any CIO method and so she worked on ways to LOVINGLY teach her children to sleep. For me, I didn't even feel comfortable tackling the sleep issues with my first until he was 12 mos old. In my mind, I needed him to understand my words. That was important to me. So I waited and when the time came, I worked with my husband and he took over nighttime parenting. Of course I'm not suggesting that you should wait that long! It's whatever you need.
I just keep going back to thinking about how mothers in the beginning of time did it all. There were no strict feeding schedules in place, no cold CIO methods where each baby slept by himself in his/her own room - the family had a one-room hut for pete's sake. How do other mammals do it? The mothers are hands-on, 24-7. That's the kind of instinct you are feeling, and it's ok. The 2nd and 3rd generations before us took some weird twists and turns in their parenting styles, so I'm always cautious about advice from them ;-)
It sounds like your son was freaked out by the CIO experience. I tried it too and it was HORRIBLE, but as a new parent, it seems like that's what everyone tells you to do. I hope this post helped you a little, even though I didn't offer many suggestions. I will tell you that according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, sleeping through the night for an infant is only 5 hours in one stretch. And as your son gets older, he will become more curious about his surroundings (and you) and he'll prob go through different waking patterns. I also feel that boys develop slower than girls and tend to have more sleeping issues as a result.
Good luck. You are a very loving mother (as this post shows) and I know you will get through this.
Love, M.