Sleep Advice for 3 Month Old

The best thing for all of you is to get him in his own room. Nice cozy bed he can call his own. It's quiet, he doesn't have to hear dad snore...j.k. I have twins and she has always slept better than him. Cole my boy still cries when he has to go to sleep. We call him the anti sleeperman. She was sleeping through the night at 31/2 months.7-7. Some babies just don't like to sleep as much as others. You are in a good place, the fact that Jacob only cries for 10-20. That is already a great start. I think you still have a little time before you should go rigid on him. While keeping to a schedual, there also needs to be the routine.dinner, bath, bed. It sooo helps. I also think one big transition at a time. Start with his own bedroom. I really feel that not to soon after he will fall into his own routine and you will have him sleeping through the night.
It's a lot to say but I have faith. Good luck and sleep tight every chance you can:)

...A.

3 months is way too young to let him CIO ..6 months is when its time..but i waited til 9 months..wish i had done it at 6 though.
i used to put my son in his stroller and push it back and forth on the porch to get him to sleep ..he was very difficult but i got him to sleep.. i also used to let him nap on me..i would put a firm pillow on my lap and nap him on my lap..then when he'd fall asleep i'd carry him on the pillow over to his bassinet..later on to his crib and carefully remove him from the pillow and lay him down ..it was a tough time! i also napped him on my lap while i sat at the computer. now he's 2 and i'm dealing w/ him not wanting to nap on some days at all.

Hi,

Sounds like you are doing a great job if he's only crying 10-20 min. I've heard of some babies who cry for 45 min. How heart wrenching. I think we were extremely fortunate with our little babe because she is a good sleeper BUT we did let her cry it out once we put her in her crib (around 13 weeks)... Fortunately, we only had to let her cio for 5-10 min. max. Not sure that I could've handled more? Also, it wasn't a "panic" cry, rather more of a fussy cry. It really is true... each night she cried a bit less. Now, she honestly goes down without even fussing. I think all babies should be given the chance to self soothe but I agree with many other moms... if they have to cry too long then they will associate negative feelings with bedtime. Lastly, I think our night time routine also helped with going to bed. Good luck.

Two books I found helpful on sleeping. My little girl is still not a great sleeper, but she does it and we sometimes let her cry herself to sleep. But sometimes, especially when they are that young, comfort is appropriate. So, for a routine that helps to incorporate sleeping, try the "Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. She uses a method called EASY, which stands for Eat Activity Sleep You-time. I do not follow it strictly, but it helps as a guideline. Then the other book is Happiest Baby on the Block, which talks about the Seven Ss for calming children. It says to Swaddle, put on the Side, Shush, Swinging, Sucking. I cannot remember all the Ss, but I used many of them together sometimes when I needed to calm my daughter and it helped a lot.

Anyway, the more information the better. He is only 3 months old, only one third as old as the time he spent inside you, being fed and rocked to sleep by you 24/7. So do not feel guilty about doing what you need to do. It will always be right for you and your baby and your baby will learn from you as you are from him!

Good luck and enjoy him!
T., mom to Olivia, 10 months

3 months is too early to let an infant cry it out. They say babies should be at least 6 months old, but some doctors recommend one year old. I don't believe in the CIO method, personally. As your baby gets older, he will be able to go to sleep in different ways, i.e. without rocking. Right now he is still tiny and needs those comforting methods. My son is 14 months old and used to need bouncing to go to sleep and would wake up the second he hit the crib mattress. Now he goes right to sleep in his crib after breastfeeding - he holds his blankee tight and rolls to his side and goes to sleep. The No Cry Sleep Solution is a good book as someone mentioned. There is also a book called The Sleep Lady Shuffle that some of my friends have used and loved it. Good luck! You don't have to let your precious one cry it out!

NO--DON'T MAKE HIM CRY IT OUT. By the way, the Ferber method is not about making kids cry it out--you go to them after certain intervals. I don't know anything else about the Ferber method, but I would guess that 3 months is still too young for it. I hear "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is an excellent book, though 3 months may be too young for any sort of sleep training (they learn to sleep through the night on their own, anyway).

i am not sure if you are nursing - my son did - but no matter what there are so many reasons for what it could be - growth spurt, comfort, teething, getting ready to reach a milestone or just met one. there's a great website called www.kellymom.com that is full of helpful info. i also pulled this article from my pediatrician's website - he is one of the few male lactation consultants and is so helpful when it comes to nursing as he really knows his info!! many pediatricians do not!! in your case - whether or not you are nursing - only you know your baby. EVERY baby is dif't - so what holds true for one will not for another. some babies need to eat more often, some need more comfort and reassurance. my son is about to be 4 years old - i never did cio, i always fed him on demand - and he is now a healthy, confident and wonderful little boy. so stick with your instinct and don't worry what others say your baby should be doing.

here's a great article about what happens when a baby cries
www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html

hang in there - this will pass and your baby will move on to another routine!! my son never took a bottle so i can completely relate to being tired - but i don't regret one minute of attending to his needs no matter what time it was!
J.

from http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/bf/growspu.asp
Growth Spurts

By Cheryl Taylor, CBE

If there is a rule that would help moms survive growth spurts with a smile, it would have to be, "Don't Watch The Clock!" Don't watch the clock for how long baby has been nursing. Don't watch the clock for how long it's been since baby last wanted to nurse. Don't watch the clock for how many times you've been awakened that night to nurse.

Growth spurts happen. They happen with all nursing dyads. Some babies protest more about them and others seem to sail through them with the greatest of ease. Some books will tell you they happen at so many weeks or months. They may tend to, but the truth is, they can happen anytime.

Signs of a Growth Spurt

Baby is nursing often or almost nonstop
A baby who was previously sleeping through the night is now waking to nurse several times
Baby will latch and unlatch, fussing in between
These signs are all signals to the mom's body to "MAKE MORE MILK NOW!" Our bodies listen very well if we will merely respond to the baby's needs. The extra suckling will stimulate your body to make more milk.

Often Observed After a Growth Spurt

Baby sleeps extra for a day or two
Mom is a bit fuller than usual for a day or so
Baby calms down at the breast
You may see an increase in wettings with the increased supply baby is drinking
Growth spurts seem to throw new moms for a loop. Just when they thought they were beginning to understand their baby's signals, they abruptly changed. The frequent requests to nurse can be confusing as well as the frequency with which growth spurts happen within the first few months. The key is purely and simply to go with the flow (pun intended!) If you respond to your baby's signals to nurse during a growth spurt and do not interfere with them in any manner, your body will quickly respond and increase supply. Typically it happens within 24 to 48 hours. Sometimes growth spurts seem to drag on for a week. This would be a good time to make sure you're drinking plenty water.

Don't allow a growth spurt to rob you of your confidence in nursing. Instead, allow it to instill confidence in your ability to read your baby's cues. Your confidence will be further rewarded as your supply increases and your baby settles back down into a happy breastfeeding baby again, with a smart mommy who knew that sometimes baby really does know best and our job is to listen.

i would not do the ferber method. i think even weissbluth advocates not letting a little one cry it out before 6 months. cry it out can create a world of problems and negative associations to sleep, the crib, etc. especially since a baby that young doesnt understand temporary separation. if you are looking for middle of the road approach on sleep, my advice would be to pick up "the baby whisperer solves all your problems" by tracy hogg & melinda blau. i did when my LO was 4 months old and not sleeping well, and it has helped me immensely. i was able to get her to sleep without nursing and to sleep on her own without CIO. that's all i really wanted! i still feed her whenever she cues me day or night, but she came up with her own eating routine. she still needs encouragement here and there but she has come leaps and bounds (watch, i'll have a terrible day or night now!) today is the first day we're transitioning her to her crib in the next room from her co-sleeper, too, so i hear ya. there is also "the no cry sleep solution" which has a lot of good ideas as well. good luck.

I think he might be a little young still before it is supposed to be a good time for sleep training. I highly recommend a book called "The sleep easy solution", by Jennifer Waldburger & Jill Spivack of Sleepy Planet. I know Jill and she's wonderful. They also have a website, www.sleepyplanet.com
You should check out the book and if you realy need to you can do an over the phone sleep consultation. Hang in there, Good luck!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't ferberize a 12 week old baby. It's not right. If you need further advice that it's not right read the first few pages of the book "Addicted To Unhappiness" This is a great time in your life to spend cuddling, lulling, singing, shushing, and otherwise comforting your baby. He should be swaddled very tightly still and comforted for as long as it takes. I promise he WILL learn to sleep on his own but it is way tooooo soon. My daughter didn't go down on her own until 9 months, until then she fell asleep on the breast, every nap and every night. I went sleep deprived for a long time but trust me you will get some sanity back in your life. Think of him, his little eyes, his feeling when he is left alone. You are all he knows and all he wants. He is too young to be left alone. Period.

congrats S., you are closer than u think. My second just turned 13 weeks. He's not thru the night yet, but on his way WITHOUT crying it out. The method you might try can be found in "Surviving and Thriving During Your Baby's First Year" which you can get on amazon or at www.babygroupvideo.com. Donna Holloran, an amazing babygroup leader moderates it w/real moms and you hear the suggestions and the problems these mom face. they go over the most common questions/concerns of all new parents. Best of all, its on DVD! so you can watch while you feed unlike a book which good luck finding the time to read.

that said -- I believe in the room. I'm a light sleeper too and we have taught both our sons to love their rooms and cribs. the sooner you do this the better -- babies thrive on ROUTINES so try and set it up asap. My son now does all but one nap and night sleep in his crib. (The other is in the stroller during a daily walk). Establish a consistent, calming night routine w/bath, etc. spend time in his room together and then try and put him down drowsy, but awake. Try patting/shushing him to help him settle. do it for a minute and then let him fuss it out for a few minutes. try this a few times -- yes, it's hard. but after the third time he should go down. I only let 5 minutes max btwn pat/shushs at first. at 3 months this is a fine amount and you wil be teaching your child to soothe himself which is an important skill. if you put him down before he's exhausted, just tired, you will have a better chance of achieving sleep. Once they get to exhausted, they are so riled up, it's much harder to achieve sleep. as for your husband vs. you, babies thrive on routine, so it may be you for awhile -- i know this is tough -- i do the nights, but my husband helps out at other times. good luck -- you can get there w/o Ferber!