Sleeping in Our Bed Still.....

Hi M.,
I have a 3 1/2 year old still sleeping in my bed. I was worried about it for a while but now I realize that she won't want to be there forever and is starting to talk about sleeping in her own bed without us because she is a big girl...hasn't happened yet, but it is on her mind. So, I wish I had great advice for transitioning her out but I think that she may just transition herself out. Good luck to you.

There's a good book called "the No Cry Sleep Solution" that lays several choices out very well. Good luck!

Every parent has different ways of putting their children to sleep. One friend co-sleeped with her children. She would have them fall asleep in their bed and when they were asleep she would get back up and finish her day(bedtime was 7:30pm). At 6 her daughter sleeps in her own bed on her own.

I put my daughter to sleep in her crib. I rocked her, read books and had a wonderful lullaby CD playing. She went to bed drowsy, but on her own. Crying did happen, but it was short lived. She's almost 6 and does well in her own bed. When we go on vacation or have guests stay. It is hard to get back into a routine bedtime schedule. So, sleeping with mom, dad or grandma does still happen on occasion. But we go back to the regular reading and music. Taking a bath before bed really helps to calm things down. Good luck.

Actually it is wild and unusual that the 8 month old sleeps alone and totally normal that the 2 year old wants to be with you. Think about it....do you rather sleep alone or with some one. Most people rather not sleep alone, this includes small children.

They DO eventually wean from sleeping with you everynight. I have a 2year old who sleeps with us every night, but she is nursing through the night so needs to be there....if she was not I would get little done in the daylight hours as she would have to make up for then.

I also have an almost 11 year old who still especially when his dad is gone comes into our room and either sleeps on the floor or at the end of the bed. He usually sleeps alone ok if I read to him @ night to help him go to bed. My 8 year old daughter also can sleep alone, but usually needs stories too. I read to one of them @ a time to get them to sleep, or if I am getting them to bed too late I have one go into the other's room and sleep on a fold up futon and read to them both.

If I need a little time with out a child in the bed with me ( almost all of us do) I just nurse her while reading to her sibling and leave her with them until she wakes for her next nursing and then bring her to bed with me.

They do wean off of sleeping with you and they still will likely want to still sleep with you on occasion even after they are much older if you allow it. They seem to want to when their dad is on business trips they feel safer, and when we travel.

Let your little girl wean from it naturally and when you need time on your own help her go to sleep in her own room. I think if we keep our beds open to our kids they will not end up in some one else's until they are really old enough and in a comitted relationship, but if we do not as they get older they may crave that closeness and find it in less safe places.

Hi there. My daughter is soon to be three. She still sometimes sleeps with us but also has her own bed and has no problems sleeping in it. We hung some special decorations above her bed so that when so looks up she sees them, in her case she has the mobile i made her when she was a babe and a giant butterfly. Then we tried to make bed time fun. Try to make her laugh a lot in the prep phase (try to put her diaper on her head or pretend I don't know how her jammies go on, any thing that cracks her up but doesn't wind her up). Then we read her to sleep with her in her own space. So us beside the bed in a chair and her with her stuffed animal in bed. We read longer stories that may be a bit beyond her comprehension in soothing rythmn and don't let her get distracted by pictures. After a while I didn't need to do any of it anymore. She puts on her own jammies and puts her self in bed. There was never any issue with the scenario so now it is the natural routine. Hope it helps!

I honestly wish I could give the perfect answer that will peacefully transition your daughter from your bed into hers, but I don't believe it exists. I moved all three of our children into their own beds at six months because I figured it would be an easier transition before they got mobile. I really believe that if you're not ready, able or willing to stand firm and make her sleep in her own bed, she'll be in your bed for several years to come. (And your younger daughter will be joining you as soon as she's old enough to figure out where big sister sleeps. Maybe you could by a bigger bed to accommodate all of you until she decides she's ready? Or maybe you could start sleeping in your daughter's room? This might peak her curiousity enough that she won't get upset and will join you. When she falls asleep, you can go an hop into your own bed. I know a number of other moms have posted questions about this in recent months - maybe some of their responses would be more helpful?

That is a tough one. My two and a half year old still sleeps with us. I keep trying to move him but something comes up and I put it off. If it does not bother you then I would not worry about it. There is noetting himthing wrong with him sleeping with you but if you want him to move to his own bed then there are somethings you can try. I am still working on different ideas I have gotten.
Sometimes i have him fall alseep on me an then put him in his bed. he will end up back in our bed in the am. I have also tried putting him in his bed and letting him watch a movie until he falls asleep. I have never left him alone to go to sleep on his own. I have hear getting them a new big boy bed or new sheets and blankets help???
Like I said I am trying myself. It were jsut up to me I would have him in my bed forever but my husband is getting tired of it!
Good luck!
Lisa

Good job on the co-sleeping!! I bet she is a happy, secure child! That is awesome that she goes to sleep so loved every night. Is she excited about being a "Big Girl"? Have you tried making the going out and picking out her own "Big Girl" bed a big deal? Sometimes that works. And you can tell her that she can put it in your room for now if that will make her feel better at first and when she feels ready, she can move into her "Big Girl" room. They make those really cool little foam couches that fold out into beds as well. My niece loved her so much, my brother just put that in their room, and she moved from the bed onto that. She liked being able to pull it out every night into a bed. So those are my suggestions. I have heard people have experience with the mattress in their room, or letting them pick out their 'big kid' bed. I am going to try putting a mattress next to ours on the same level for a while (she still nurses quite few times during the night), and slowly moving it away as she starts sleeping through the night.
I gotta go put my little girl (14 months) to sleep in our bed. Helps me go to bed "early" too. We love co-sleeping, and my daughter is so happy for it!!

Yes, my 2 year old is still in our bed with no signs of moving out, and I suspect she will still be there when the new baby arrives in July! In fact, she tells me that the baby will sleep right between us so we can all cuddle together. Aw, how could I ask her to move out after that!

Most of the two year olds we play with are still in their parents beds for most or all of the night. So first of all, don't worry about it- it's pretty normal and just fine to "parent" her to sleep still. Just think about how fast this time will go and how much you'll miss it when she's a teenager and you ave no idea where she is at night! :)

Anyway, what I have heard from people who have made this transition- some ideas were to start the bedtime routine in her own bed, then gradually put her to bed in there. I'm imagining I might end up sleeping in my daughter's bed when the time comes and then gradually weaning myself out of HER bed instead of the other way around. Not really sure yet though, so not much help, just wanted to give you some support! And good for you for not letting her cry it out- that would really break her trust in you. Good luck!

Good. Go with your gut and don't let her cry it out. Our daughter (almost three) is transitioning to her own bed. We co-slept with her and when I got pregnant with my second (due in a few days) we got our daughter her own bed and made it an "exciting" thing. My husband will lie with her and read her books and get her to sleep. But we welcome her in to our bed when she needs to come back. It's a process, a transition, not a cold turkey thing. Most of the time she sleeps through until early morning and then crawls in bed with us for another hour or so of sleep. Occasionally she wakes in the middle of the night and comes in with us. This has worked for us and she doesn't seem to feel abandoned or ousted from our bed. Keep working on it and don't expect change to happen too fast. Oh, and screen time (Television or videos) too close to bed can tend to wind up a child, even if the content is relaxed. Try sticking with just books or telling stories. Also, considering that she has a new sibling (8 months is still new!) she may just need that extra alone time with you as a security measure. Let her have it when she needs it, she will get her needs met, then feel confident to move on. Remember, until they are three, their needs and their wants are the SAME THING. You can't spoil a child by tending to the growth of their spirit... spoiling means leaving something on a shelf to rot. Good luck!

My daughter sleeps in our bed still. She is 4. We have traveled quite a bit and moved at a crucial time, so I understand why. When she was only 2 and a half, I too did not want her to cry all night, but did it anyway She had a crib tent, so I knew that she was safe. She cried for 2 to 3 nights tops and then it was over. Then we changed the environment, we moved and she got an "inspiriational" big girl bed. The sleeping in her own bed changed forever. Once she turned 3 and was not afraid to walk around to find me, it wouldn't matter what tactic I chose, I couldn't keep her in her bed. Now the only solution that I know of is to lock the doorr. I feel unsafe with locking any doors in case of an emergency so now I let my 4 year old sleep with me. She will grow out of it, but now it is on her terms. I don't really mind it, but if you want your daughter to sleep on her own, now is the time.Although horrible to listen to, the crying does not do any damage and sets boundaries. Your baby will still love you in the AM. Good luck.

You have such a sweet nightly ritual, what kid would want to lose that? :)

BUT>>>If you need to make a change, it's easy. Maybe not easy, but simple. Just change WHERE to routine happens. I did the same thing with my daughter, we had to get her in her own room. We did the nightly routine: went potty, brushed the teeth, got a drink of water, read the book, turned off the lights, sang a song, cuddled for another silent minute....or two...or twenty...:) Every few nights, I'd cut down the time of waiting until I left the room - always saying something before I left,"Goodnight, I love you, see you in the morning" even if I thought she was asleep. (Sometimes, we still hear things when we are asleep) So she would, on some level, know I was going to not be there when she opened her eyes. After a few months, she was used to the routine, and slowly accepted that I was going to leave the room before she actually fell asleep. It's worked for us. Now she's 5 and has been very good at bedtime for the past couple of years - still same routine, but less time - no fuss! I think the routine helped give her the understanding of what comes next and what is expected - no negotiations. Whatever you do at this stage will help set the stage for her future sleeping habits. Be patient :)

Something else - if your daughter has a real hard time with you leeaving the room when she's still awake, I read where you can do that gradually by first laying with her until she's settled, then sit on the end of her bed for a few more minutes. When she gets comfortable without you right next to her, it will be easier to let her fall asleep on her own. Do you play music in her room? I found that was very helpful. She has an "aquarium" that shuts off after 15 minutes or so. She's had it since her crib days. Now it's in her bed, leaning against her wall near her pillow. She loves that thing.

I could never bear the "let them cry themselves to sleep" thing, either. I know it's common advice, but I like to think my kids and I are uncommon ;D

My 3 year old still sleeps with us about 1/2 the time. What we did was to talk up getting her a "big girl bed" for about a month or so. We let her pick out the bedding and all the accesories. One of us would lay down with her in her bed until she goes to sleep. And then praise her for any length of time that she slept there by herself. Eventually it got to be longer and longer that she would sleep in her own bed. Now she won't go down in her bed by herself yet, but she is sleeping most of the night in there before she comes down the hall to us, and sometimes she will sleep there all night. We just keep praising her, and hope that eventually she will stay there.
good luck!

Try putting a bed on the floor next to yours. Once she gets used to sleeping in her own bed, then try putting it in another room. Small steps.

My son used to do this. I even tried sleeping with him in his bed to show him it was ok. Then I decided a room "makeover" was the answer. He got to choose the paint, the bedding, the border wall paper, everything that was inexpensive. We didn't change the carpet, but we did by him a new mattess and box spring from an outlet store. He was so thrilled by his new room he started sleeping in it by his choice. I would sit in on his bed till he went to sleep. It still took a week of him waking up and coming to us, but we would talk in the morning and he had to sleep on the floor in our room. Since then, he has slept in his room. Good Luck. Every child is different so I wish you the best!

Hi M., Have you tried laying with her and doing all of those things in her bed till she falls asleep? I used to stand next to my granddaughter's bed(my husband and I are raising her) and hold her hand until she fell asleep. She just wanted to feel one of us there. Eventually she was able to ga to sleep with just her stories and a kiss. Good Luck, Gramma Chrissy

You just gotta bite thew bullet and let her cry it out! She and you will be so much happier in the end. You can still have your singing/reading/snuggle time before she goes to bed, and maybe you can even lie down with her for a little bit in her own bed, but I think it is time to give her and you some space. The longer you wait the harder it will be! Is there a way for you to be in a room where the door is open and it is a connecting room, so you can see her? It is hard at the beginning, but it is something that I think is so important for her development and growth. And you will be okay.

I can totally understand not wanting to let her cry it out, but we all have to learn self soothing techniques. even if it's little by little, children need to learn to be on their own. your marriage shouldn't be put on the back burner for your children. when your children are raised and grown, who's left? you and your spouse!! i'm sure you are a fantastic mother. just keep in mind that if a child learns to fall asleep with you singing to them or whatever, then when they wake up in the middle of the night, they don't know how to get themselves back to sleep. having a bedtime routine is awesome. sing songs, read a book, take a bath, snuggle for a bit. but then let them know it's time to go to sleep and that mommy and daddy will sleep in the mommy and daddy bed and that they are going to sleep in the big kid bed. eventually your child will need to learn how to get themselves back to sleep. my niece refused to go to bed for quite some time and my brother and sister-in-law had to put her in her room and let her cry it out. she is getting much better now and accepts that she has to go to bed on her own. like i said, you can do it step by step, but in the end, parents need to be working themselves out of a job! you owe it to your husband to have your own bed! but the fact that you don't want her to be alone means you are a good mamma because you care about how she feels!

You could try and rock her to sleep in a chair. and put her to bed that way. we have to do that with our almost three year old. when we moved he took to sleeping in his own bed own room and we started the you fall asleep in bed but i wasnt working becasue he would take longer and longer to go to sleep. So now we rock him and then just carry him to his bed. if she isnt ok with being in another room yet set up a matress on the floor and move her there and then gradually move her to her own room. This is where we are at in transition with our youngest. she may not take to it right away but soon enough she will. have a prize for her when she finally does sleep in her room all by herself!! that will help getting her motivated! it wont be easy but it will work!!

Try making a bed for her on the floor beside your bed. She is still next to you but not sleeping with you. She is still a baby herself and since you have an 8 month old that takes up most of your day time then this is a good chance for the 2 year old to get your attention. The little one is asleep and and she gets all of mommy's attention.

Do you put her in her bed and sing her to sleep and then she comes into your bed? If not then try that. If she comes to your bed then show her the bed you made just for her by your bed and tell her that she can sleep there if she is afraid.

Otherwise, I don't think her sleeping with you is such a big deal, unless no one is getting any sleep.

You're either going to have to wait for her to be ready to sleep in her own bed. Or there's going to be some crying involved. We recently kicked our 12 month old out of our bed. He just wasn't safe in it anymore, he squirmed and moved around so much we were afraid he was going to fall out. Maybe start by getting her to nap in her own bed. Then move the night time singing routine into her room. You don't have to let her 'cry it out' just be firm. Go in and reassure her that she is alright, but keep her in her bed. It will be really hard at first, lots of visits to her bed room, but as long as you are consistent and don't let her back in your bed once you have started the process she will be fine and you'll get through it.

I know as mothers none of us like to hear our little ones cry. None of us want them to feel any kind of hurt feelings and none of us want to feel like we are responsible for those hurt feelings. But I also think that it is important to look at our life and their life realisticly. When children are born, they are like a clean chalkboard, just ready for us to start inscribing our teachings in their hearts (whether good or bad). And I think that sometimes we are so concerned with trying to keep them from feeling sad that we actually (unintentionally) make their growing up process harder. Eventually someone is going to hurt our childrens feelings. Someone who doesn't care about them half as much as we do. And they are going to have no idea how to handle it. The longer you wait to let your child cry something out, the harder it is going to be on them in their future. I know you don't want to, but if I were you, I would put my child in their bed, let them cry for 10 min, go in to let them know that I am still there but that it is very important that they learn how to go to bed like a big boy/girl so that they can grow up big and strong. Let them know that sometimes mommies have to do hard things because it's best for their children. Then leave and if the crying continues wait 15 min this time and repeat the process with 5 min increments each time. You can even start a sticker chart so each morning she can wake up a put a sticker on her chart for sleeping through the whole night by herself. After two weeks of stickers, take her out and buy her a small toy as a reward and maybe a bigger one after a month. The first three nights will be tough, but I can guarantee you that within one week..... two tops, if you stick to your plan it will be completly normal for them. And when they are all grown up, it will have been in no way emotionally scaring for them at all. Trust me, I had to go through something similar to this when both my boys (1 year apart) had to quit taking the binky at night. The sticker chart worked great for me! I wish you the best !

M.,
Yep, my almost 3 year old either starts out sleeping with us and we put her to bed, or she starts out in her bed and then crawls in bed with us around 2AM. So, in order for both my husband and I to get some sleep, we put her sleeping bag on the floor next to our bed. She sleeps through the night and so do we. She says that she is scared of the dark, doesn't seem to be a problem in our room though.

Hi M.,
Have you tried getting her her own bed and putting in your room and sleeping with her there until she falls asleep? This may take up alot of space, but if your not into letting her cry, your in for a long, very difficult proscess. Perhapes you could intergrate a "reward" type system, using outings or small privliges for sleeping in she own bed several night a week. What ever you do, give it a try for at least two weeks before giving up to try something else, and be consistent.
Good luck to you and God bless. A.

The way I got my one year old out of our bed... We went to target and let him pick out a toddler bed (sponge Bob) And put it right next to ours it took a few weeks for him to really get want to sleep there. But now its wonderful!! Good Luck i know how it is!!

Well, I just read your post. You said you "are not into letting her cry" and you "you are not into letting her be alone", sounds like you should not change a thing, keep her in bed with you. If you are really wanting to change this situation, you need to give a little. It is not going to hurt or scar your daughter. You have a family unit, you (wife), your husband, and your daughter. A very healthy situation for your family would be to have you and your husband in YOUR bed and your daughter in HER bed. Your daughter needs her own space and you and your husband need your space. The bedroom is a place where you and your husband can lay together (I'm not just talkin sex), and discuss the entire day, concerns you may be having, fun times. It is a wonderful time to be together with no interuptions or having to be careful of what you say,, a very intimate time for you and your husband. You don't have to give up singing to your daughter, telling her stories or holding her to sleep just because she is going to sleep in her own bed. Go do all that and then walk away,,,, have a timer and go in every hour for now and kiss her and tell her you are "coming to see how she is doing" and "I'll be back in a little bit". You may not even notice this, but ALL of you are surely not getting the sleep you could. All of you would sleep much better if you had your daughter in her own bed. I used to sit in a little chair next to my daughters bed and read or sing to her till she fell asleep then I would check on her periodically, then there is the closeness and connection you can give her but not "together in bed". Giving your daughter her own bed does not mean you love her any less. Truly, truly, the longer you wait, the harder it is going to be! I hope you can do this for you, your husband and your daughter :) good luck! :) ps, tending to the spirit of your child means, letting your child grow. By puting your child to sleep every night, you are not allowing your child to teach herself how to go to sleep. Something that may become very difficult to deal with later.

Here's a schedule that might help you. Just take 1 step every one or 2 nights and don't back track. See how this works.
Step 1. Child Sleeps on mat or sleeping bag in your room (no getting into your bed,be firm)Still read stories sing songs.Purhaps make a goal of something to do together tomorrow.(my daughter enjoys bedtime prayers.)
Step 2. Put child in own bed and sit in chair next to bed as long as you are comfortable.
Step 3. Move Chair 1/2 way to bedroom door.
Step 4. Move Chair Just inside bedroom door.
Step 5. Move chair just out side bedroom door.
Step 6. No chair child sleeps alone but still continues to get bedtime stories.
Hope this helps.

Well i had this problem for awhile as well. Maybe you could try getting the child involved in decorating there "Big Kid" Room. Have a big kid bed that they pick out, have them pick the theme. Get them as involved as possible so they get excited to sleep in it. Have them pick out there own nightlight too so its something special for them and it makes it so the room is not toatally dark! That what worked for us. We used the same method for potty training, i had my daughter pick out her first pair of big girl pantys and we hung them above the toilet until she could go in the big potty for a week straight then she got her special pantys!! :) Hope this helps a little bit! Take Care

So funny you wrote this. Our three year old still sleeps with us! Our three month old sleeps in a cosleeper next to the bed and Amelia with us. She has her own twin bed and when she naps she sleeps there, and she plays in her bed everyday. There have been nights where she wants to sleep in her own bed but ends up with us.

I suggested something to my husband a while ago, but he said he likes knowing where she is at all times, that she's okay. I admit too, it is nice to snuggle her. I slept with my sister and grandma until I was four and I remember feeling very secure my whole childhood life because of that and several other reasons.

People have their reasons for children sleeping on their own, but for us this just works. Before you know it, they'll be grown up and not so cuddly anymore!

My daughter is fiercely independent and has trained/weaned herself in all aspects when she was ready, I don't force much on her because I know she will rebel. Additionally, she acknowledges when she's tired, gets herself ready for bed, and puts herself to sleep, it just happens to be in our bed!

Hi M.! Ok here's the deal, I had my first, a girl, when I was 27, I rocked her and held her, and spoiled her rotten. Then when she was 17 months old I had my 2nd daughter. Here is where it doesn't matter what your "into"! That child will not be nice to your new child, and as they get older, if you don't take care of it now, you will have 2 kids in bed with you, or one trying to hurt the other one all the time. I'm serious, she needs to understand that it is not normal for her to still be sleeping with you. Your younger daughter will be much more independent, the older one will see to that! Make a routine, do the whole bath, and toothbrush thing, last drink of water; and then, in HER bed, create a story time that includes your younger child. Read together, say your prayers (if you do that) put the young one down, and kiss her good night! You need to understand what the whole crying thing is about, CONTROL, gain it or lose it! Let her go shopping with you to pick out her "bed stuff". Has she ever spent the night any where else? You can use that as an analogy, and if she hasn't, it's high time she did. This is a nightmare in the making, and you will have to bite the bit on this for all your benifits!!! And as a post note, how does your husband feel about all this, he must hate it, think about your marriage, it can fall apart if you don't have some time alone together! Hope this helps, good luck. R.

Hi M.,
Do you sing to her and hold her in her bed? I have two boys and they liked to sleep with us when they were little. I would read to them and sing to them in their beds, and then sneek out. Sometimes in the middle of the night they would sneek into our bed, but not all the time.Your daughter might feel the stress of sharing your love with the baby, and is reassured when she gets her bedtime with the two of you. It won't last forever so enjoy it while it lasts. If you don't enjoy it, be stern with her and let her know that she needs to sleep in her own bed, and can only sleep with you once or twice a week, or when she has bad dreams. I think she's old enough to negotiate with. Good luck.

Hey my name is D. and I had a little boy I knew who was like that and his mom let him sleep in her bed. If fit is your bed make her her own right next to your make it special and then week by week move it a little closer to the door let her help you decide where is will go next but don't let it get closer to the bed. Then it will be slowly moved out. and hey your free LOL but if its you laying in her bed then start with staying just next to her bed sit in a rocking chair or on a pillow then week by week slowly move out of the room and remember it's hard but don't climb back in that be and remember to congrateulate you child every morning and do something special the day after you move either yourself further out or the bed. Oh and one more thing Keep the doors open so that they can know that you will hear them if anything happens but becareful how mch you go in mine will try anything to keep me in the room with them and they are 5 and 3 so best of luck hey my trick is that i will only come in 3 times they always stop at 2 just incase they will really need me LOL and best of luck.

You know when I first got married thirty years ago my mother ( what a fine women she was and one who raised 9 children) told me, when you have children that it was okay to have them sleep in the bed as long as it was only with one of you. Meaning, of course when dad had to take a trip or mom had something happen that she had to leave, things like that. I followed that and never had a problem with my sons and separation, nightmares, any of that other stuff. I must admit they probably were totally filled with love and affection since I was able to stay at home and take care of them. I now have grand children and their parents do the same thing, they are 3 yrs, and 19 months, and they go in their own bed and don't bother to get up all night at all, I noticed their parents started this when they were young, never nursing in the bed, always on a chair and putting them in their own place.
Although it is cuddly and cute and fun to have a young one want to be close, it can also play a big factor on a marriage. Parents need that alone time with each other. Sometimes moms don't see that, might explain in part, relationships that don't hold out, who knows.

Hi M.! I'm a mom of 4. I had twin boys first...they had trouble sleeping on their own from the beginning...and looking back, some of the issues were real but most were definitely parent made. They didn't fall asleep on their own or sleep through the night until they were almost 3. They had us jumping through all sorts of hoops. But, it started out so small or us being so tired that we didn't realize how much we were setting ourselves and them up for failure. My next baby was a girl. A dream baby whoe slept by herself through the night from at least 2 months on. My last baby, also a girl, has tendencies that seem closer to my boys, but I know I don't want to relive the past. At this point, if you really want to solve the problem, you need to accept the fact that your daughter will more than likely not be happy about the changes you make. You have to be tough!! It seems to me that what started out as a nice good bedtime routine has evolved into a bedtime ordeal. (It happened to us too, so believe me, I understand.) I also know from hard experience that once you've gone too far in the indulging there really isn't a graceful or non-unhappy way out of it. I would suggest:
1. Make her room a happy & cozy place to be.
2. Maybe take 3-5 days of playing with her there, reading stories with her in bed during the day, talk to her about it being her very own special place to sleep soon...things like that.
3. Pick a day and put her to bed in her own room, following your usual bedtime routine of coarse. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET HER BACK IN YOUR BED AT NIGHT after you've chosen your start day. This will only let her manipulate you!
She will probably cry...you will need to reassure and remain firm many times. But it will work.
The other thing we do, is allow our kids to come in with us in the morning. We tell them as long as it's light outside, you can come snuggle with us. (Our now 8 year old twins, set their alarm to allow snuggle time before everyone needs to get ready. Our 5 year old straggles in a little later and eventually our baby will join it too! Be strong. (You have a good example that it can be done in your 8 month old :))

We just moved out 2 1/2 year old out of our bed before the new baby come. He was used to sleeping in our bed, so we thought it was going to be a really big deal to get him to sleep on his own... plus I would nap with him durning the day.
We made a big deal out of his "new" bed, specail bedding that we got him. The first night it was fine... we were in awww
He said one time that he didn't want to stay there and we said this is your big boy bed, and he stayed in there. Sleep all night too.
Then next night was bad! He cried for awhile, and I am not a big fan of the cry it out either.. so my husband took to sleeping with him in the twin bed... He would stay in there with im until he was asleep, sometimes he would wake up and my husband would have to go back and sleep with him until he was asleep agian.
It took awhile but now he sleeps on his own, altho, he still most of the times needs someone to lay with him util he is asleep, but he now sleeps all night in there.
My husband is a big cuddler, and so is son, so I am sure it will not take as long as with us...
We also put up fun things on his wall too, trains and space stuff...

It will take sometime, but soon they will be in there own beds..

try doing those things that make her bedtime routine, in her bed. People don't usually like to leave what they like to try something new, so making bedtime fun AND familiar in her bed might help. GIve it time too.

Someone mentioned this, try singing her to sleep in her bed. It may take awhile, you may even want to read to her if she likes that also. Additionally, she may wake up and come to your bed side. Take her back to her bed and rub her back or sing to her (or both) until she falls asleep. It helps if you have a bedtime routine. 20 minutes before bedtime let Madelyn know that it will be story/singing time soon, do so again ten minutes later and again five minutes later. Like others have mentioned, don't stress about it too much, baby steps.

P.S. The room makeover is a really good idea also. It worked for my daughter who slept with me until recently and she is now four. Best of luck! Jesus loves you!

Children need to learn to sooth themselves. As a society I am seeing families using TV, and kids in the bed as their way of learning to sooth themselves. "Kids are so smart" that they can cry and get to stay in bed with parents, they will continue it and do whatever they have to do to keep it being their routine.
Realizing that crying is not pleasant, by this time of life, your child is old enought and smart enough to get you to doing anything they want by crying.
The best thing you can do it make being in their room and in their bed fun. Have enjoyable things for them to sleep with, and music to relax with. Have routine, book, song, hugging and then it's good night in their own bed. When the children were real small, I would pretend to lay my head down on their bed but would say, "When the timer goes off, mommy has to go"
It will take a least 30 to 90 days to break this habit of sleeping with the folks, but your relationship will be happier for it.
The parents bed needs to be a parent bed. Made for privacy and personal adult time, not for kid time.
I have raised five children and have been married for over twnety years.. It's worked for us! Good Luck!