Sleeping Nightmare....

Welcome to motherhood. This at the moment is simply her sleeping pattern. Remember she's only been on this earth for three months and you can't expect her to know that at night mama needs sleep.

Hopefully you will choose not to be frustrated with this and simply be happy to have a healthy baby. The less frustrated you are when she wakes up in the middle of the night I'd imagine the less she'll wake up so often and want to stay awake. No matter what words you use with a child this age all they know is what you are feeling...

Good luck,
C.

I have to say, I agree with Kim. I slept with my little guy in the co-sleeper until he was 6 months. At 3 months they do need to eat whenever they're hungry and it is easier for them (and you) to sleep when they are right there with you. I know it means it's harder to teach them to sleep alone later, but I think it's easiest all around. They still need you so much at 3 months. I felt like I was already having to let him go so early as it was, enjoy the time together, it's precious and doesn't last long.

Good luck!

nurse her more. if she wakes up hungry nurse her. breastmilk is digested in an hour and a half. an every 2 hour schedule does not allow for growth or comfort nursing. i am nursing my 5th and sometimes they just need a quick nurse to fall asleep. there is nothing wrong with nursing when they want it. you are her comfort and she wants you. i totally disagree with the other posts about supplementing especially with evaporated milk. There is no nutritional value in that. It is cow's milk boiled to death, and then canned. I have read more stuff about the myth if you make your baby's tummy full they will sleep through the night. Babies are different that adults as are their sleep patterns. A baby sleeping through the night is only 4-5 hours because they have such an immature nervous system. They nurse alot when they are growing. Breast milk is always better. No formula company has ever come close. The reason formula fed babies are full longer is because it has more fat, which breastmilk has but not the extra. Follow your baby and what she needs. I sleep with my babies and nurse when they want it. I wake up refreshed and I have a well fed baby who never cries at night. Hope you can find what works for you both

Not all babies are created the same, their sleep patterns are unique unto them. Sounds like she wants to be snuggled and held? Maybe she's not getting enough to eat when she does nurse, are you letting her nurse completely? Keep her awake until you've emptied out, not just until she's comforted. And at 3 months, there's a growth spurt, you may feel like Elsie the Cow, but she may need the additional feedings. Some babies don't like being overheated, that will wake them, or not let them find that deep sleep cycle. Dress her lighter, don't swaddle per se, but just cover her, or use a blanket sleeper so she can kick and move. 5-6 times a night? What time do you put her down?

Life is inconvienent, especially when you're juggling a toddler and a newborn. This time is really short in the big picture of things. It will fly by before you know it and you'll have some angst that it did. Give your kids the time they need when they need it. Even at this early age your baby is developing a sense of trust with you, knowing she can count on you to be there. She can't talk or tell you what she needs right now, but her waking and crying are her communication tools. You're not going to spoil her any more than your husband spoils you by answering your questions, doing things with and for you.

Hi there, A. -

I'm just going to quickly agree with the majority of the other moms here who encouraged you to bring your baby to your room/bed so that you can nurse her without having to interrupt your sleep cycles as much. Co-sleeping allows you to nurse the baby in the side-lying position. Once you and baby have gotten used to this position (which shouldn't take more than a few nights at this age), you should be able to just latch her on and drift back to sleep. When I had my first baby sleeping in her own room away from us, I was such a zombie the next day and never felt fully rested. Co-sleeping has been a life-saver for me and my babies (and my husband gets a better nights sleep too!). And don't worry about "spoiling" or creating a "bad habit". It is a good habit for your child to know that you will take care of her needs throughout the day AND night. Babies are reassurred by your physical closeness and responsiveness in tangible ways. Just as when we gradually wean our child from nursing or from pacifier use, we can gradually wean them from our beds when we feel we/they are ready.

Lastly, I want to counter a couple of the other moms who suggested scheduled feedings and the book "Babywise". This is a dangerous book written by a man who has been proven wrong by many, many healthcare professionals (and by the Bible itself!). Anyone who understands the way breastfeeding works by "demand/supply" will agree that scheduled feedings work against the nursing relationship and frequently leads to early weaning (typically by 6 months of age) and failure to thrive. Babywise does not address any of this. The author just tells you that nursing on a schedule will magically help your child sleep "through the night" and then he throws in all this antiquated/out of date advice to use punitive baby-management techniques to train them that their needs will only be met when mommy or daddy decides it's necessary. Not only that, but the author has been disciplined by the religious leaders in the churches he has attended for not being willing to provide the documentation that would demonstrate the proof for the effectiveness of his program. For more information, see: http://www.ezzo.info/

Blessings to you and your baby!
J.

This is not a nightmare! It is absolutely normal for her to wake up and need you at night! Please sleep with her and nurse her as often as she wants - all you have to do is roll over to nurse and roll back to sleep. You will both get much more sleep that way, and she will grow up feeling secure and loved. Isn't that what you want? She needs to feel your body too (not a swaddling blanket), smell you, and hear your voice and your heartbeat. She needs to know you are always there for her, day and night. She will of course eventually sleep longer stretches as she grows. I slept with mine till they were about four years old, we slept great, and now they are very happy, secure, loving adults who sleep with their children, and we all feel very connected. Please don't believe the people who say the way to raise an independent child is to force them into early independence - it doesn't work that way (of course they can become "independent" - but at great cost to their mental health).

This is completely normal for a 3 month old baby! Please do not watch a clock to decide when to feed her. Listen to your baby and feed her when she is hungry. Her stomach is tiny still and can only hold so much at a time.

It is hard for a baby to sleep alone. She misses the sound of your heart from in the womb. She will find her rhythm in her own time. Some kids do not sleep through the night until they are two. Try having her sleep next to you. Babies sometimes sleep longer when they can feel your breathing and heartbeat, it is a comfort and helps to regulate their own breathing and heartbeat. Perhaps you expect too much from a 3 month old. Be patient.

Your daughter is probably one of those common babies who needs to be close to you more, she's only 3 months old! Why is she in another room? No wonder she is upset. Keeping her on a feeding schedule can also make her upset. Some babies need to nurse evey 15 mins to half an hour. You're on her scedule, not the other way around. Try bringing her in to bed with you, you'll be amazed how much better everyone will sleep, expecially her. She had been so close to you for 9 months & to be put in another room, I think you can understand why she is upset. Please read some of Dr. Sear's books, especially on sleeping, he's great. She may be experiencing anxiety being so far from you & at such an important time in her life, it's important that she is closer to you. Good luck & go get some good sleep.

My grandchildren slept best at that age when they were buckled into their car seat which sat in their crib. I think at first we swaddled them too. They slept in their car seat for several months. When they weren't swaddled any more we tucked blankets around them outside the harness.

They both had GERD; grandson more than granddaughter. Granddaughter also had asthma.
I think that they slept better because their heads were elevated. We tried elevating their mattress but they always slid down to the bottom.

Hi A.,
I know this is a difficult time, you are tired and so is your family. I'm going to throw my hat in with the other mamas and say it's likely a growth spurt.
Babies at this age don't know the difference between want and need, so if she's hungry, feed the little one. If you can, try to co-sleep (either move her crib into your room or bed share, whatever feels right) you can have the opportunity to get her feeding before she really starts to get upset. There will be less likelihood of her waking up the rest of the house. And if you do bed-share, you will quickly perfect the side-lying nursing position which might allow you to sleep through some of her feeds.
Good luck!

HI there A.,
I would like to let you know the #1 secret to keeping and helping my three little boys at one time or another asleep. That secret is Classical music. I received a CD from the hospital when I had my first son in 2001 and ever since then I have always played it on full repeat throughout the night and during nap times. I have found that not only does it keep them asleep longer but it helps them to get to sleep also. I still use this method today and with all the children in my care. In fact, I have also seen in all three of my boys that it has indeed helped with their IQ's. They all enjoy having the music play. Plus, it's a great routine to have to give them the Que that it's time for sleep. I hope that this helps you in finding some relief with your little one.

It was about this time that we actually unswaddled our crib-sleeping son. He kept busting out of every swaddle we put him in and we viewed that as a swaddle failure not that he wanted some freedom. Once we stopped swaddling him he started sleeping longer stretches of time and eventually through the night.
You might check with your local La Leche group for more suggestions.

Babies have growth spurts @ 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 3 months & 6 months. You need to nurse her more often during this time to get your milk supply up to meet her demands. You will find that for a couple of days during a growth spurt you are nursing all the time and then things will go back to normal once your milk supply has caught up with her. It does only take a hour and 1/2 to digest breast milk so she will be hungry before 2 hours. I am a total believer in the nursing on demand because babies also use it for comfort not just nutition. I have breastfed 5 babies and just stopped nursing my last 10 days ago when she turned 3.

A.

I am with you on having more scheduled feedings and baby sleeping in their own room, we did that with our son and it worked great for our family. My son had some rough nights when he was fussing throughout the night and I gave him Mylicon, it worked great to calm his gassy stomach. Had I just fed him thinking he was hungry I would have put more food over the gas which would have made him more uncomfortable. Crying definately doesn't mean hunger. Another thing she could be having is reflux which can be very painful, she may need to sleep with her upper body elevated to help that. My son slept in his bouncer seat for a few weeks and that helped him sleep better through the night. Good luck.

Why won't you feed her more than every two hours? Perhaps that is the problem she is not getting enough at the times she nurses. While you don't want to encourage snacking..perhaps you should try longer nursing periods. Yes, it takes more time but if she is hurrying she might be swallowing a lot of air and its just making her gassy. She may just be colicy or her teeth might be starting. I suggest the white noise, as well as a local classical music station on low. My kids still listen to classical music at night and have since they were infants.

She probably needs to nurse more often..don't watch a clock..you are never supposed to make a baby wait for their next meal...unless directed by a dr for health reason...they digest breastmilk much more quickly than formula...I have a 6 month old girl...she slept with me till 3 1/2 months and would take her naps in the crib during the day around 4 months she started refusing the breast so I switched her completely to formula and now I get a good 10-12 hours of sleep...YES she sleeps that long...and in the crib...and when she wakes in the morning she is a happy giggly baby who doesn't even cry when she wakes up...never really did...maybe I just got lucky!
I wish you the best of luck...if you can also nap during the day when the baby does..it helps!

This is common. Some don't sleep long at all until 6 to 9 months. She is used to hearing your heart beating in her ear 24/7. Now she does not have that.

While I don't stand behind co-sleeping long term I did do it until month sixth in order to nurse while I slept otherwise I was haggard all the time. Both babies transitioned to crib easily (you can keep a bassinet next to your bed to help with this part), but other than that you can't put her on a sleep schedule yet. She just doesn't know how - she's used to how noisy your uterus is and the silence is a lot to try to cope with. She's also used to the sway of your body and the sound of your heartbeat. With a bassinet or pack n play nearby you can bring her over and put her right back once she nods off. I am trying to get myself prepped for this stage and I gotta tell ya I am a bit nervous myself!

I'm sorry you're going through this - it is a very tough time! It's hard for me to remember that time because it was such a blur since I was so sleep deprived - but I feel for you! Sleep deprivation makes everything harder.

What worked for us was to have my son sleep in our room until about 6 months. He slept in a bassinet and later a pack n play next to the bed. It made it easier to get him for feedings and occasionally he slept in the bed with us as well (but I was really nervous about that - I wouldn't be as nervous now). My friends have a co-sleeper and I think I would use one of those if I were to do it over again). We swaddled my son for a VERY long time as he wouldn't sleep otherwise - but some babies do better unswaddled or swaddled with their arms free, etc. Try to see if another way works for your baby. Also, I think the pediatric society recommends sleeping in the same room with your baby for the first 6 months to help reduce the risk of SIDS.

I also support feeding on demand but don't think it's awful to supplement with formula if you're not getting any sleep (or you could pump a bottle and have your husband take over one feeding so you could get more than 2 hours of sleep).

I would recommend the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" - it's a bit repetitive but the tips really helped us. This too shall pass!

Just two quick comments:

1) I couldn't agree more with Jannet H. as well as most of the other advice that recommends nursing more and using a co-sleeper. Nursing on demand and co-sleeping are the best things I ever did.

2) Marda P suggested using a car seat. Please please, don't let your baby sleep in a car seat. Their muscles are not strong enough to support their head in this position for sleeping until they are much older. Babies have died sleeping in car seats. I know some mothers swear by it for getting their babies to sleep, but it really isn't safe. If your baby is sleeping in a car seat they need to be supervised by an adult.

Here is a link with some more info if your interested.
http://babyproducts.about.com/b/2009/02/06/babys-death-le...

I think it is time to unswaddle her and feed her. She is 3 months, and no longer a newborn. If she is hungry she needs to eat, regardless of the time. It is hard, I know, and if you want her to sleep longer between nursings, formula fills their tummies for longer. Otherwise, nurse her whenever she asks.

She also needs to move around a little now. Get her a cozy blanket sleeper; she won't need blankets if she has an undershirt and sleeper.

The good news is: no stage lasts forever! No matter how hard this seems, eventually it will become a distant memory!

I'm assuming you would not have written if this was a growth spurt.

I also did scheduled feedings starting from the first week every 2 hours, extending to every 4 hours by 4 months. (using the book "Babywise") This method worked wonderfully for both my children so that they slept through the night by 10 weeks and took their daily naps most of the time without protest. It was just the normal thing they always did. HOWEVER a very important rule of scheduled feedings is to make sure they are getting enough to eat when they are nursing. Sucking for five minutes and then falling asleep will not fill them sufficiently to last until the next feeding. They need to suck (on average) 20 minutes per side -- this requires working to keep them awake and drinking.

Also probably around the age of your child we put them down with a pacifier -- there is a way to swaddle so it will stay in -- and then when they started sucking their thumb we encouraged that. This helps satisfy their desire for the soothing of sucking that is not related to actually being hungry.

I did not feel constant babywearing was necessary. I was a sahm, so I felt confident that my baby was getting enough affection and interaction in the normal course of nursing and otherwise caring for your baby. So I deliberately gave them time apart from me includling play time and sleep time so as to encourage their independence. They are, after all, OUTSIDE the womb. I think this makes for a much more contented baby and, eventually, child.

Hi A. B. First off make sure she is dressed warm use one of those t-shirts that snap between the legs (onesies)under her pajamas,or night gown, have socks on her,for one idea,second try putting a blanket under her sheet to stop any cold air coming through,have a bumper guard around the crib,one more idea would be to maybe find a soft sounding clock that sounds soft like your heart beat when its ticking, now last but not least, lol, you could try giving her one inch of carnation evaporated can milk with one teaspoon dark carol syrup and mix it in her bottle with warm water to make a half bottle of milk, its good for her,and will warm the tummy in between your nursing time. I have three grown boys who then kept me up till my mom told me what to do and my babys doctor okay'd it very happy and wisely. take care sleep tonight,

Sounds like it's probably a growth spurt, if she is that hungry. Prior to 6 months, it's not a good idea to try to train their eating habits. She needs the food, and your milk at night has a higher fat content, so it will actually help get her through the growth spurt faster and more happily, and the higher fat content will eventually help her sleep longer. If she's getting so worked up in the night from her hunger, it's probably just feeding the poor sleep in general.

Best wishes,
Colleen

A., I may get some criticism for this because it isn't the most PC of approaches but we realized when our daughter was about 2 onths old that she was napping really well in her swing but not sleeping well in her bassinette at night. So we started putting our daughter in the swing for the night! It was the BEST thing we ever did - she started sleeping from 8:30 PM until 7:00 AM every night. And she still does! It is a dream come true.

We keep her in her swaddle in there and make certain she feels snug and secure. And we use the white noise machine at its least disruptive setting (the most boring some would say but it is working)! The other thing we do is "top her off" with a feeding right before she goes down for the night - even if she'd just fed a half hour before. That way her little tummy isn't what wakes her. They do say that smaller babies have a harder time going any length without food (and I don't know how big your daughter is) but our baby is actually in the bottom 5% and now taking 8 ounces in every 3.5 to 4 hours during the day, so I know she's getting enough food...

We got the idea from the Happiest Baby book... we loved that book. A neighbor actually gave us the DVD and we started there because it was all we had time for! As for the swing, we started her at a high speed a little at first and a little at a time, every three or four days, we've slowed it down. We now, two months later have her at the very slowest speed and, after a few days just in the swing but without any rocking at all, we're planning on moving her to her crib.

I'm certain others have found ways that work for them and their babies but this worked for us. We aren't co-sleeping people - we are newlywed and we like the few hours we get together every night! And she still takes good naps during the day but we are all sleeping at night.

Remember YOU are the only one who knows what works for your family and your baby. Experiment until you find what works for you and yours - but I'd suggest giving each experiment a few days before you abandon it. Some babies seem to have a tougher time adjusting to change at all... Good luck, A.!

We swaddled my daughter, and she slept through the night from about 2 months. At 4 months, she just started waking up every 30-45 minutes. I tried everything - feeding her, giving her pacifier back, rocking her, etc. Finally I unswaddled her and she slept all night. I agree that some babies need to be fed during the night, but at 3 months, I would doubt she needs to eat 5-6 times per night. I'd try taking the swaddle off.