Sleepless Nights with My Toddler

Take her to bed with you. You both will get a full night's sleep.

My son has been sleeping with me since birth. We both wake up refreshed.

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Hi M.,
I also have an almost 17 month (next week) little girl. Although you may not see the teeth coming in... they could be moving below the surface which is painful. My daughter has 6 of her teeth coming in right now, Some of which are 15 month molars. Needless to say she hasn't been her usual "happy" self. It is usually around this age that molars start popping up. This may be the reason she is waking during the night. Just a suggestion... you may want to try to give her motrin before she goes to bed (with a light snack in her tummy) and see if she is any better. If she is, then you know it's her teeth. Also, I've never rocked my daughter to sleep, always put her straight in her crib and let her fall asleep on her own. This also has taught her that if she wakes at night, she can put herself back to sleep without me. It took abut 1-2 weeks of "Ferberization" (crying it out) to acheive at 10 months but it has been amazing once it took effect. I was so tired the first 10 months of her life and now I get a solid 8-9 hours of sleep!!!! Just a suggestion to make your life easier...take it or leave it. Good luck and hang in there... it's not an easy task! M.

Hi M., It's hard to know what the issues are sometimes, and I'm not sure what to tell you since i don't know what the rest of your daughter's sleep schedule is, but I do know that with all 7 of my kids, any sleep issue i ever encountered was answered in the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It walks you through the process, step by step, of training your child to settle themselves to sleep and back to sleep when they awake. This book saved my sanity, repeatedly. At 16 months, it shouldn't be a hunger issue, though. Unless she's sick/teething, she should be able to sleep through the night. Maybe she just needs help learning to settle herself back down without you. Sometimes, too, it seems like kids just go through stages of needing a little extra attention, so it could just be that, too. Good luck.

Oh sleepless nights are so frustrating. My daughter went through a phase of waking around 18 months that lasted about 6 weeks. I thought I had a newborn again. Then one day she started talking a lot and settled back to her normal sleep schedule.

Various things interrupt sleep from time to time, teething, coming down with something, new food or additives in foods. Also look at your schedule, is it suddenly busier or different, is there a new caregiver or changes at daycare? She might just need a little more security from you right now during these night wakings. She is still a baby.

In all likelihood it's a normal phase and when she gets through whatever it is she will go back to normal no matter what you do about it now.

I wonder if, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, too much is then going on? A child of 16 months certainly doesn't need to eat during the night - even if she's hungry one night, she will make up for it the next day. If she is soaked through, then you need to change her, but otherwise I wouldn't. All that stimulation just brings her into a heightened state of wakening and she just isn't going back to sleep. The rocking is comforting but then you have to put her down, and it's taking at least a half hour out of your own night's sleep. Our pedi just told us to pat our son's back and say "You're ok. TIme for sleep" or whatever phrases we chose, but to say the same thing (very little but very calming and comforting) every night. She told us not to pick him up or feed him no matter what, and not to linger in the room. She said then to keep lengthening the time before we went back in. Start at 10 minutes then go to 20, then 30 and so on. It took 3 or 4 nights before he figured out that there was no point in crying since he wasn't going to get out of the crib, and then he was able to put himself back to sleep. We never had another problem unless, of course, he was sick. I think you have to choose a method and stick with it. Not sure what you and your husband are arguing about but I think you need to get on the same page. And you definitely need to take care of yourself by getting some sleep, and your daughter needs a good night's sleep as well. If you have some time over the long T-giving weekend when you don't have to go to work, try to use it to resolve this situation - that's how we did it. We just prepared ourselves for 4 nights of hell, and got through it. That way we kept the frustration out of our voices when we went in to our son at night, because we knew it was for everyone's benefit. And we knew it would be short-lived.

Good luck.

I agree with a trip to the pediatrician just to rule out anything like ear infection, all my kids have super sensitive ears and any ear pain (even if its some fluid) makes it difficult for them to lie down, so therefore, no sleep. I like the Dr. Ferber book if you're looking to find a book. It has a lot of the physiology behind sleep explained and how sleeping habits are formed, etc. I think around this time with mine I may have turned off the monitor and let them cry too, once the medical stuff has been ruled out. An unhealthy mom is much worse (in my opinion) than a baby made to cry at night. (and for me, loss of that much sleep always made me get sick). Good luck and get some rest this weekend.

I feel for you, its a hard age. Not much sleep its very frustrating. I know its a small help that it will get better. But has your daugther been put on cereal yet? sometimes babies need a bit more substance in there food at night. I never could let my daughter cry it through. It wasnt in me. But try the extra food if she is on cereal already it might fill her up a bit more before bed.

After ruling out any physical cause (ear infection, teething), you have to decide how you want to approach it.

If you want a cry it out program, previous posts have recommended Ferber and Weisbluth who are both all about cry it out, in my opinion.

I am not a fan of cry it out and haven't done it, although if she cries in the middle of the night I do give it 2-4 min to make sure she's really crying snd not adjusting herself. Our optimal solution is to have someone besides Mom go in, talk to her, change her if need be, and put her back in crib and leave. If I go in it's much more difficult, she wants me to stay. So if possible I send my husband as he can get in and out. Also, I've heard that giving her water in her bottle will help break her of this eating in the middle of the night.

If you haven't read the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg you could check it out. She suggests never crying it out but building a secure relationship for her by always responding. but you don't necessarily pick her up - you sooth her & lay her back in the crib. I've spent quite a bit of time laying beside the crib until she falls asleep but i'd rather do that than have her cry and it goes in spurts - most nights she sleeps fine. Who knows what disturbs them - too cold, too hot, wet, teething, ears, bad dreams, it's impossible for them to articulate.

best of luck to you a you find hat works for you.

At this age she's started catching on to the idea that you come in to spend time with her when she wakes up in the night. I believe that young toddlers need to learn how to fall back asleep without mom or it will only continue. Think of yourself- you probably wake up in the night but you know how to get back to sleep. Kids don't know how to do that without practice. She definitely doesn't need to be eating in the night, so the first thing I'd do is gradually reduce the amount in the bottle until her body no longer needs food. This will help reduce the wet diaper problems too.

My daughter went through a time around 8 months where her sleep started getting worse and she would wake every 2 hours all night, so my husband and I realized we needed to do something. I totally recommend the Ferber method. It is not a total cry-it-out method where you just let your baby cry. You start slow, with like 2 minutes of crying, and then go in and comfort your child by rubbing her back and then leave. You then let her cry another 2 minutes and continue the cycle until she falls asleep. It can be a while the first night. The second night you increase the time you let her cry to about 5 minutes. For most people, this process only takes a few nights and then your child will sleep MUCH better, if not all night. It teaches the child that when they wake up at night (which everyone does) they know how to fall asleep by themselves. My daughter didn’t know how to go back to sleep without a parent there, and now she does. I have several friends who used this method and their children sleep all night, for about 11-12 hours straight. I've recently done it with my 7 month old son and he now sleeps all night too and he is much happier during the day as a result.

I agree, even though she doesn't seem to be in pain, she might be uncomfortable. You also might want to consider getting her checked for an ear infection. Try some Motrin and see if the situation improves. Good luck!

Hi M. - you didn't mention your daugther's nap schedule. Is she down to one nap a day? If so, maybe her afternoon nap is running too late - past 3 or 3:30 could impact her ability to sleep through the night. If she still takes 2 naps, then it's probably time to go to one nap. I agree with others that it could be a growth spurt or some kind of adjustment phase, or even teething that is disrupting her sleep. Good luck, and hopefully it will pass soon.

she may be teething!

Both my sons went through this at the 15-18 month age range. I started off by going in to check. Then eventually I let them cry it out.

It is a stage. Then they learned if I cry mom will come in. I don't know why they do this at this age. Dreams, teething, seperation? But eventually letting them cry it out for a few nights nipped it in the bud.

Its worth trying Motrin or Tylenol before bed in case it is teething or an ear infection. My daughter's first ear infection was a lot like this, she was fine during the day but kept waking up at night crying. We had no idea what it was. It hurts more when they lie down, so sleeping upright in your arms is easier for them. She didn't have any cold symptoms or anything either. We took her to the doctor and got antibiotics and she was fine within a few days.

Good luck!

I didn't read the responses yet, but here is my two cents....try to eliminate any night feedings. A 16 month old doesn't need to eat during the night (unless there is some medical issue). That is a habit you may need to break cold turkey. That said, I definitely recall a few periods of my daughter having really bad nights probably around 16 months. It was frustrating. I usually assumed it was teething related. So if a quick hug and putting her back down didn't work, I would change her diaper (just in case) and give her some motrin. Unless she is crying hysterically, don't get into rocking her. It is most likely a phase, it stinks now, but it will pass (fingers crossed). Good luck.

Babies magic tea is a good and natural way to soothe sleepless children.