Smoking Question

Yep, impolite on her part not to ask first. I think I would have said, "Would you mind if I roll my window all the way down? I used to smoke way back when and now the smell of it makes me violently ill." :)

I think it was very rude of her to not ask or at least warn that she was going to try to give you cancer on the way to the job site.

I would have politely said "I really don't mean to be rude, but would you mind waiting until we park to smoke that? Second hand smoke kills me". You don't have to share with her how literally you mean that statement.

I would just consider it a lesson learned. You won't ever make the mistake of going in her car again. The only thing that you really could have done was roll the window down all the way and stick your head out like a dog :) Maybe she would get the hint then!

First of all, you were on a work outing so she should have been more professional in my opinion. But definitely she should have asked if it was ok to smoke. Common decency says to ask the other party and if they say it's not ok, then go to the sidewalk and smoke there before coming back to the car. I personally feel she was out of line. Congrats on being smoke free for 10 years!!!!

She was completely rude and should have asked you before lighting up. If you need to drive in the future, tell her very politely "I'm sorry but I'm not a smoker, so I"ll take my own car and meet you there".

I still smoke, and I do not smoke, even in my own car (pre kiddo), unless the other person is a smoker (my son does not go in gpa's truck so I occasionally take it so I can smoke in that one when I am by myslef). I think it is rude of me to expect someone else to endure my habit if they do not partake. If we are talking about taking my car (one that can be smoked in) I warn people, first that the car is smoked in and confirm they will not be bothered. Should I forget to do that and someone in my car says, "hey, is there any way you can hold off on that?" or something like that (be polite) I will put it out. I have even gone into someone's home where they smoked in it (I did not know before hand) with my son and they lit up in front of my son. I politely asked if we could see the back yard to hint "not ok," she was older and even smoked in the house around her own grandkids and no one thought it was bad/wrong ... well to say MOST of our visit was OUTSIDE, and kept short. I did not drive and could not control the situation too much.

I always tell the smoker, I'm sorry, but I'm alergic to tobacco smoke as soon as they get the cigarette out. I've never had any smoker not put it right out and have never had "hurt feelings" by a smoker over that.

You didn't say anything at the time, so forget about it.

Good luck to you and yours.

Yep, impolite for her do do it without asking. She probably wanted to take her car so she COULD smoke. I probably would have asked her to stop or take me back in a nice non-confrontational way.

.

i quit 3 years ago and now when i am around it i feel like garbage the next day. I guess i used to feel like garbage all the time and didnt realize it because it was my reality.

you WERE in her car though, and since no one can smoke anywhere else now i understand it.

She should have warned you she smokes in her car, that said it is her car and some people would see it as her right to smoke. BUT I think she should have said something like " do you mind if I smoke" to that you could have said " I would rather you didnt" Honestly I smoke- outside- not in my house not in my car, and not around my kids before I had kids and i was young I smoked in my cars but if I did have someone in my car I would always tell them that I smoked before they got in the car.

When she started to light the second one, I would have very politely said, "I know this is your car, and I'm sorry if this comes across as rude, but cigarette smoke really gets to me. Do you mind holding off till you drop me off?" You don't have to make it judgmental or anything about her. I think most people are decent enough not to take offense at something like that, especially if they're new at a job and looking to make a good impression.

Well, now you'll know in the future to ask someone if they smoke before you agree to ride with them.

In the future - I would let the driver know you are a non-smoker now and it bothers you....just because you USED to smoke doesn't mean you still like the smell of it.

If, in the future, you had to go some where with THIS person again and it's practical to drive yourself - then do...just state that you have errands to run afterwards and it makes more sense - you don't need to tell her you were offended by her smoke...it was and is HER car...kinda like my house, my rules...

You don't have to dig her - but you can be politically correct (YIKES!!!! Me saying being PC!! SCARY!!) and non-confrontational...most smokers I know are considerate smokers....my husband doesn't smoke in my car...if we're on a long road trip - he will ask before he lights up...this is how it's been for ANY smoker I've been with - girlfriends and man-friends!!

GOOD LUCK!

You would have been within your rights to ask her to refrain because you're allergic to cigarette smoke. Just because it was her car doesn't mean she had the right to light up during work hours on the way to a work site with you.

The next time, though, you'll know to take separate cars. If the subject comes up you can tell her that you prefer driving. There's nothing you can do or say about yesterday's incident and I would just leave things alone in regard to that.

A lot of my family smokes. They all smoke in their cars. I know that if inride with them, I have to deal with the smoke. I hate it. They all know I don't smoke, but they don't care. They think that since it's their car, they can smoke. I suppose that's true. I would have rolled down my window and said something about how you haven't smoked in so long and it was making you feel ill. I wouldn't ride with her again unless she agrees to not smoke.

I smoke in my car, but when I have passengers, I ask if it will bother them before I light up. My husband is asthmatic, so if he's with me, I definitely don't light up in the car. I don't light up if I have children in the car. It would have been nice of her to ask if it bothered you beforehand.
I would not ask someone else not to smoke in their own vehicle, but that's me. I figure it's their car, and if I don't like the conditions, then it's on me to find another ride.

I would ask her to not smoke with you in the car. Tell her you quit but still fight the cravings occasionally (I'm sure it's true) and that being around cigarette smoke makes it worse. Yes, it's her car. But it's your lungs!

I value my health more than any job, so knowing me, I probably would have nicely asked her not to smoke or to take me back to my car. I would never agree to ride with her again.

i'm a smoker, yup bad i know. but if i'm training someone & they have to ride w/me, i always ask first & make it NO BIG DEAL if they don't want me to. just b/c it's my car i never assume it's cool to smoke b/c i wouldn't want them to do that to me. she should've asked or something

When I smoked, I *never* smoked in my car if there was a passenger without asking first. That is very rude. As an ex-smoker, I try to be considerate of other smokers, but I am not above asking (even my own mother) to not smoke too close to me. I may, on occasion plead being especially sensitive as a by-product of quitting. Usually, I don't even have to get that far. As soon as I start to voice an objection, the cigarette is usually extinguished with no hurt feelings.

It is your air, no matter who's car that air happens to be in. You have a responsibility to your lungs to speak up.

It may be her CAR, but she doesn't own YOUR AIR. It was very inconsiderate of her to not ask if you minded It's just rude. Rarely I have had to ask people not to smoke around me. I tell them it makes me sick (since it does). Or, often I'm pregnant or have little ones, and I absolutely refuse to be around someone smoking openly like that.

Sorry that happened - and way to go on quitting smoking!