Something Wrong?

You MUST talk to him.

A real relationship is based upon open communication. And trust me, it feels SO much better to have everything out there in the open, instead of tiptoeing around trying to avoid topics that scare you.

Make a list of the things that are concerning you. Sit down and talk with him like a partner and friend. Start with "I feel like______" statements, and "I would like for us to start ____________."

Also...you need to talk marriage. He gave you a ring...when's the wedding? Or does he think "why buy the cow when I'm getting the milk for free?"

Regarding sex: Why do you think he's avoiding it? Is he depressed? Feeling unattractive? When's the last time you dressed up for him? When are you trying to initate sex? In the evening before bed, I've found, is often the worst time...have you tried the morning?

Marciela:

I'm sorry - if you are afraid of the answer - you can't ask the question and if you don't ask the question - you will be in limbo.

Be prepared for more excuses when you ask the question.
Be prepared to stand up for yourself.
Be prepared to tell him you deserve better and more.

So get your ducks in a row. Do you have the money to support yourself?
Do you have someplace to go or can you kick his butt to the curb?

You don't have to give him an ultimatum. You just need to communicate. You are afraid to communicate. That speaks VOLUMES about your relationship or lack thereof.

Tell yourself you deserve better. Get the conversation going. Ask if he would be willing to consider premarital counseling. If the answer is no. Then you have another answer. If he won't go - then get counseling for yourself as to why you would stay in a relationship that is not giving you what you want, need and deserve.

Good luck!

If you can't talk to him, why are you even with him? There is no intimacy, including communication. Where the heck is the relationship? Living with someone, does not equal being a partner, and a love. You are not married, and won't be anytime...ever...probably. So, what IS it that you are fighting for?

You are a roommate. Not a very regarded one, at that. If you don't start realizing you deserve better, you will be asking this question for years. You already have been.

Well you are going to have to talk to him. It may be that you guys could get counseling to help bring you back together. If you don't say anything it could get to the point where he has already given up.

Two people who cannot talk to each other, or if one is afraid of what the other will say, are already apart. You live together but don't have sex. You've spent 5 years with someone you can't talk to. You are waiting for him to bring up the word "marriage". Sorry to tell you - you don't have a relationship. You have a roommate. There's no "funny feeling" here - there are red flags everywhere. I'd say, get out, or get into counseling, or both. You have wasted 5 years with someone - not sure what other signals you are waiting for before you take some sort of action.

I'm sorry but it doesnt look good. If you want to try and salvage it you first need take care of yourself. Get out and do stuff on your own. Take a class, either at the local college or art/music/dance class. It will be easier with the security that you temporary have some one home. Stop pressuring about sex. Get yourself a makeover as well. . That means get a pedicure and a manacure. Get your eyebrows waxed. Get your haircut. Note though this is for you so you can feel better about yourself. Start going out in the evening and walk around the block or go to the local gym once a week for a work out. Basically you are getting yourself your own life. This will either wake him up, which all good for you. But if it doesn't then your going to have to buck up the courage and say directly do you want to discuss whats going on with us. If he blows your off or gives you excuses then that is an answer as well.

You already know the answer to this.
Good luck!

Please don't have a baby to force him into marrying you. THe pain of divorce, especially with a child, is much worse than breaking up now.

Glad you didn't start a family. Don't be afraid to ask point blank if he wants the ring back and call it a day. He might be afraid to say something as well. It would be foolish to go on and not be happy.

Just read your answers and all are something for you to take in and consider carefully and honestly. And yes you are in limbo as one post said - (I think it is wildone). Anyway, I feel for you, I know how this can be. It's tough - confusing, lonely and sad too.

Do you have a means of living alone or moving in with a friend or relative? If you do, you may want to simply break it off as hard as that is, and if he comes around perhaps it is meant to be with you two, if not you have not lost anything in the bigger picture, as you will then know who or what he really is concerning your relationship. Remember, all things are a matter of relationship and choice. Think about this statement. Think about what you want and need for your self, for your life, what do you intend your life to be now and later. Afterall you are creating your future by the things you do today.

It takes two to make a couple. If there aren't any reasons for his behavior, like, depression, lost of job, feeling pressured into marriage, etc. then what is the problem? Is there someone else?? Is this what you secretly fear? I suggest concentrating on yourself first through meditation, prayer, self help, changing your thinking/feeling before entering into a conversation that may be challenging for you as to your fears. Sounds like you're walking on egg shells - can't be good. He has to be willing and able to respond and join in on this relationship, or what do you really have?

Well, enough of this. Ask yourself in clear thinking, not fear. Fear makes us make mistakes. The only way (generally) to overcome fear is by heading straight into it and breaking it thus conquering it. Do not let fear control you.

I send you light and prayers for all good things.

If you can't talk about your relationship together, then you don't really have a relationship...you have an arrangement.