Son Crying Before Bed

Have you tried waiting to do the ferber method until he is a little older? Maybe he is not quite ready for it. Try a routine for right now and cuddle with him for now.

The book by Dr. Wiesbluth "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" helped us out. You might try putting him to sleep a little earlier. I know it sounds crazy but maybe he is over tired and therefore not falling asleep well.

Breastfed babies can be very different! My daughter always fell asleep while nursing, especially during the bedtime feeding. I think it's totally fine at this age to nurse them and let them fall asleep--it's so comforting to them. I always called it a "Milk coma" because they are so satisfied after eating they just zonk out! Don't worry that he will always need to nurse to fall asleep. They'll outgrow it with time. What you can try is to gently have your son open his eyes when you put him in his crib. That way the last thing he sees is the crib and not your boob and will associate sleep with crib! That is often hard when they are so young, but you can try as he gets older to do this. Don't worry about trying any methods right now--probably too young and will drive you crazy. Plus, those methods aren't helpful when it comes to teething and everything else that is soon going to happen. Just respond to what your baby needs and he'll be happy! I was the same way--trying too early to get my little one to sleep trough the night and we just wound up being miserable. Then I just let it go and in due time, it worked out! good luck!

Hi H.,

I think that you are putting him down to bed a little, too late, and he might be overstimulated. When my son was at that age (he's 6 months now), we started his bed time routine about an hour, maybe hour and a half after his last nap, which would be around 5:30 or 6:00. We would lie on the bed, cuddle, and get his bath ready, then bath, jammies, cuddle, then nurse, and then put down. I was nursing him to sleep, and then I stopped right around that age. If you think he might be missing a feeding, you could try a dreamfeed. You pick him up sleeping (kind of scary!) around 10:00, and put a bottle or breast to him, feed, and then put him back down. Tracy Hogg outlines this in her GREAT book, "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer."
After following our routine, my son never fusses now before his bedtime, and has been sleeping through the night for about two months now. Thanks!! A.

It is normal for little ones to have a "fussy period" during the day/night. : ) Mine did this too. I always comforted them. At this age crying is not for manipulation. It is b/c they have a need. He may not feel well or may just need to feel your closeness. Think of how long he was in the womb hearing your heart beat, your voice, knowing your smell. This period of time (in his life) is so short and next year at this time you will have a whole new set of things to be concerned w/ (like learning how to walk :))

Personally, I always comforted my babies when they cried like that and they did outgrow it. Everyone has always made comments about how happy my babies were compared to the other babies in the (church) nursery. When they know you are going to tend to their needs, you create a confident person. i think letting him cry for 2 hours is way too long. he is only a few months old! He probably goes to sleep out of pure exhaustion! Some babies like to lay on your chest and this can comfort them too. (They are rt on your familiar heart beat.)

Blessings,
M.
Mom to 5 Wonderful Kids
www.4MyChildrenSake.com

Try the comforting without picking him up. Let him know that you're there, but that you won't give in. Then he'll learn that it's okay. And maybe, just maybe he's getting tired earlier than that. I read something recently that said you should start putting them to bed before they usually start fighting it. I, too, had a fighter and he's 3 now. Leaving him to cry and checking up on him was a very good change on my part. Start as early as possible too. Good luck!

My son started going through that around that age. I finally was at wits end trying to rock him to sleep and put him in his crib, and he went to sleep.

I made sure to "trick" his crib. The Ocean Wonders has been a lifesaver as well as some of his favorite toys and books. He has always been a sleep fighter, but usually goes down better when I would just put him in his crib. I have to make sure he has a silky blanket to chew on.

Good luck!!

He's still little and probably just want to be held and comforted after a long day. My 7 month old son does the same thing, he is fine during the day but nights he wants me right there all the time.

I think he's still too little to have him cry it out and it work. What's wrong with nursing him to sleep for right now? Sounds like he just wants the comfort of Mama being there. You can always use a pacifier later if he'll take it if he has to suck to sleep.

H.,

He is 3.5 months! Feed him, bath him, then rock him to sleep. Maybe he needs more interaction and less naps during the day so that he is tired at 7:30/8pm.

My son used to fight and fight at our 8 oclock bedtime, we started watching for signs he was tired...like a yawn, or rubbing his eyes and would go put him down and he'd go to sleep so easily and stay asleep. I felt bad putting him down at 6:30 but that's what his body needed. Then of course I felt bad for making him fight me for so long....LOL Glad you asked early :-)

I feel your frustration!
My little girl was the same exact way. We bought an air purifier for her room use more like a noise maker and we play classical music for her. It took about 2 weeks of the screaming and crying. It was so hard to not go in there, but you just have to stand your gurad. Now, this may be something as well. My little girl couldn't have milk right before bed. She was fine in the day, but at night she would get gas cramps really really bad. I put her on Soy formula, because I was breast feeding as well and it was like night and day. I would try the music and a noise maker for his room use this everynight create a routine. My husband gets lazy and "forgets" to turn on the purifier and my daughter will stay awake until i turn it on.
anyway, hope this helps

At 3.5 months, I wouldn't worry about nursing him to sleep.

We have a little rocking chair for him. I would buckle him in and rock him for about ten mins. If after ten min he wasnt asleep or about there I would figure out what else was " wrong" a dirty diaper or a feeding. If he calmed down when I picked him up then thats what he needed a little bit of love. Most every time he would fall asleep in his rocker. Which i could then secure with a bar and it wouldnt rock any more. He is a big baby now so I dont use his rocker anymore but feed him right before bed and he sleeps through the night. Your son might need some more food before bedtime.

I just wanted to let you know we found a book by Dr. Weisbluth
very helpful- we didn't put my DD in her own bed til around 5 months and this book helped us do it- I kept it around through year two- it has studies on children's sleep habits and development! Fascinating! I too was afraid the breast at bed would be addicting, so we tried to nurse an hour or so before bedtime and keep her awake- but that didn't work- so we just kept on bedtime nursing. But I would try to get her "off" before the COMA hit her- so she herself could nod off to sleep not fall asleep with a nip in her mouth! :-) We followed the book's reccomendations and she sometimes puts herself to bed now. Though we quickly follow her with story and nite nite prayers... and yes abou 2xs a week she still asks for and gets Mommy's milk. I doubt there is truly any left in there at 1-2 sessions a wekk now. She is only on for about 3 minutes (soothing) then she crawls off my lap and into her bed.
BTW- we cold turkey cut her off of the pacifier about 6 months ago- she had it for every sleep (nap and nite) since we brought her home from the hospital. But at 2 days old we found it to be the only thing to soothe her to sleep!

I wish you all the best!

K.
SA TX

He is young but the best thing to try since he does better later would be for now a later bedtime. Does he do two naps during the day? At his age the best is a morning and an afternoon nap. I think if you postponed bedtime yes he would be crabby but that is not uncommon. Evening fussy baby is very common. Most likely you are just putting him down too soon. Postpone until 8:30 or 9 and nurse right before putting him down even if he just ate an hour before. Maybe he will just need a little snack! The little delay will make it easier for you to settle him down if he does scream when you first lay him down. It would likely not last anywhere near as long as it is now lasting. 27 years experience here,pediatric nurse, mom, and foster mom to many. I think I have seen it all over the years!!

I believe that babies sometimes need to cry out their frustrations of the day, it helps them wind down. I may have the unpopular opinion, but that's just what I believe with my 2 kids, who are now excellent sleepers of 12 hours a night. :)

I had the same problem w/ my daughter at that age. She was old enough to recognize the "bedtime" routine and to protest, and she also was using me for a binky. I decided that letting her cry was not an option at that age, but I did work hard to get her to use a real binky instead of my breast and that provided a great deal of relief for both of us. And was especially good as I dried up at 4 months and couldn't be a binky anymore.
Rather that using anyone's method to train her to sleep or self soothe I just tried to keep us all comfortable and happy, and she has been a very good sleeper since about 6 months. Maybe you just need to let him stay up for those 2 extra hours and then put him to bed. Good luck!