Baby Not Sleeping in Crib

Why not let her continue cosleeping? I'm not judging, but is there really a reason that she needs to sleep in her crib?

I had the exact same problem with my first baby. He slept in our bed until he was about 8 or 9 months. Then when we put him in his crib he had a fit!

we used a variation on the "walking chair" routine. I would stay by his crib side, holding his hand while he fell asleep. Then after a week I sat by the bed waiting for him to nod off. Then I lay on the floor the week after that so he could still hear me but not see me. After that I started "excusing" myself. For a few minutes at a time, coming just to the doorway to check.

This was a long process, but I didn't like seeing him upset. So it worked for both of us.

With my second one, I tried a 5-minute rule. I would put him in his crib for 5 minutes and let him fuss, then I would come back and soothe him for 2. Then out for 7 and back for 2 then out for 10 and back for 2... leaving for a little longer each time. after about an hour of back-n-forth, he would fall asleep. And when he woke in the middle of the night, it was the same routine.

This took a week or so before he was able to sleep on his own.

Whatever method you use to get your little one to sleep depends on your personal parenting style.

Good luck to you, and know that you are not alone!

-B. M.-

you can start gradually moving her back into her room. You start by moving her out of your bed. set up a little sleeping area in your room on the floor. or in a play n pack crib. then start moving her further away. even if she is sleeping in the hallway for a bit she will learn. I have learned with all three of mine they will all eventually get into their own room some just easier then others. it could be too that if you just recently stopped nursing she is going through some separation with that even. i am sorry i dont have any other tips. good luck!!

Greetings!

I would ask that you listen to your daughter. This time may seem like it drags on but in retrospect it will be such a small amount of time that most of it will not be remembered - regardless of how challenging or how adorable things may be.

We have co-slept with two children and I do believe that we not only made the best decision for your children but for our family in general. It has brought us all closer together and we had very little difficulty transitioning our daughter to her own bed.

If you would like some literature that follows your daughters cues then look for Attachment Parenting. There are also attachment parenting web sites and meetings and support groups. It can be a bit challenging at first - especially broaching the subject with a partner!

One things that is certain - co-sleeping can enrich your relationship not only as a family but also with your husband. You may find yourself trying new things and exploring new parts of your relationship at the same time that you are building an unreplaceable bond with your daughter who is obviously trying to communicate what she would like with you!!!!!!! Listen to her!! Babies are so amazingly intune and intelligent! Love it and foster it...

Best of luck
L.

Just consistently put her back into her bed after she falls asleep, I have done this for all of my children. I let them fall asleep in my arms every night, until they are about 2 or 3. I then carry them to their room and put them to bed, but we go to bed ususlly when our youngest goes to bed too. So I simply wait until they fall asleep and carry them across the hall. I have never had my child upset or disoriented when they wake in their own bed. And put her down for naps in her own bed, then she will be more familiar with it. Be consistant. I think a lot of parents over think parenting and it becomes so much of a fight to get them to do things, you are the parent and you pick the battles. Good Luck!

Rock her to sleep. You probably nursed her and she went to sleep next to you in your bed. So, rock her in her room, give her a bottle, let her fall asleep then put her gently in her bed. Babies don't do cold turkey. Wrap her in a blanket, like you did when she was tinier. So she feels hugged. Do this before you rock her so you don't disturb her sleep trying to wrap her or by putting her in the crib. Crying so hard that she's throwing up isn't good for her or you. Does she have a problem taking naps in her crib? How do you get her to go down then? Be prepared for some middle of the night cries and trips to her room. If she woke up before, she had the security of your presence right there. That security blanket is gone. And 8 mo old babies are too young to be reasoned with. Their world is very black and white. So cuddle her, rock and let her fall back to sleep in your arms. She'll gradually become more secure in her crib and by herself. This is a growing adventure for all of you. Sweet dreams!!!

Hey, you have the right frame of mind and all you need is a little push towards the direction you are headed. You little girl is telling you she doesn't like it; but reality is change is happening. Puking because she is so mad, is actually common at this age - don't worry. We were like this with our first and he actually co slept with us until our second was born.....(in hind sight waaayyyy toooo long). It will take a week or two for the transition to stick - but be consistant and it will give you your bed back. There is ample time to cuddle and hold her aside from bed time especially since you are home.

Good Luck

Hi K.,
I didn't read all the responses either so I apologize if I am repeating.
I had the same issue, we co slept with our infant since she was 5 weeks old, so we could all sleep. It was not our original plan and it took quite awhile to transition her. She will transition have faith, it just takes time. Remember it took her 5 mos to enjoy the "habit" of sleeping with mom and dad and we can't expect them to adapt in just a few nights.
My suggestion (and what I read in books) is to start her out in the crib for naps, when it's daylight, shorter time etc. Also to put her in crib occasionally with toys so it's not a 'bad place'. Night time, dark, can be scary without mom/dad. I was very consistent with naps everyday and still let her co sleep at night with us (so I was getting to sleep at least some of the time!). Then when naps were going ok, we started the nighttime transition. I followed a consistent night time routine everynight. We did a bath, read books, did the bottle (or nursed up til 9.5 mos), and then put her to bed.
we also did the go back and check on her every 2-3 mins ( 5 mins was too long for me) until she fell asleep. I comforted her and it was just the constant reassurance that i was still there that helped her go to sleep.
Recently we started daycare and she is having a hard time at night again (13 mos old now). So I stay in her room in the chair, she is in the crib, and she can look up and see me there and be comforted while she falls asleep.
Most mamas will tell you whatever you start stay consistent babies will get it.
My little one would get so sick she would throw up too, that is why I went in every few minutes, I never wanted her to get to that point. It was not worth it, she was so upset and that made me feel horrible, they just don't understand it. I didn't want her to fall asleep from exhaustion I wanted her to fall asleep because she was comforted and felt safe.
Good luck, it will work, give her time:)
T.

I didn't read all the responses, but here is my opinion.

First, I would not allow her to fall asleep with me. She needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. Otherwise she will need you every time and that doesn't give you a lot of freedom.

You need to decide if you and DH want to cosleep or not. We do with all our kids for a certain amount of time. It's not for everyone and its totally your choice!

If you decide that you don't want to cosleep anymore then you can either put her in the crib in your room or in her own room. Are you still nursing? We always keep them in our room until I am done nursing or they are sleeping through the night.
Once you decide, you have to be consistant! She does get it and she does know how to get you to come and get what she wants! Babies are so smart!
I hate CIO! I think it's horrible for babies and mommies! Love the suggestion of starting the first night by the crib then slowly get further and futher away until you are out the door!
Also, controled crying. Start with going in every 5 mins for the first 20 mins and then make the time longer and longer. Both of these let baby know that you are still there and have not abandoned her.
Make sure you don't talk too much, turn on lights, nurse, or anything like that. She will learn that..

The throwing up..well really it seems bad but its not gonna hurt her. It'll be hard and you will be exhausted and want to give up, but don't! You will be so happy when she is sleeping happily in her crib!

Good luck!

ETA: Cosleeping is not a mistake! It can be good and healthy for all involved *if* its what everyone wants!

When I transitioned my sons from my bed to their crib I would let them cry for 5 minutes at a time, and then go in and comfort them without feeding them or picking them up. I would lay them down and rub there back/tummie and hum, sing, or talk softly until they calm down, and then leave. If they started to cry again I would wait another five minutes and repeat. They figured out that they were not going to get out of the crib and would go to sleep. In fact I never had to go back in more then once (but I started a little younger so it may take a few days, and it may get worse before it gets better)! Hang in there, it will be worth it in the end!

We waited until 2 for our daughter, and it is going to be a lot easier now than if you wait. Just stay consistent!! Another thing you might want to try is putting her in her crib other than to sleep and make it happy, fun music and her favorite toy. GOOD LUCK!!!

As a great gran, all my sympathy is with the baby (this isn't fair, but my heart turns to mush when babies cry!) It seems so mean, for mommies to want what they want for just so long (sleep with this angel in part because we don't want to let them go and in part because it's easier to just pop a booby in their mouths than to get out of bed three times a night to feed them), and then want baby to just casually take the change in stride. I had the same problem with mine, except that I just weaned her from the bed by letting her fall asleep in my arms at nap times and then putting her into the crib. I didn't think it was fair to make her ready to sleep in her crib just because I was suddenly ready for it. Sorry I don't have any advice for you ... I have less sympathy for mean old mommies than frightened babies who don't understand what they've done wrong. And I have two great-grandbabies who I have warned my granddaughters they're going to have the trouble you're having, and that their crabby old gran is going to glare at them for being mean to my babies.

She may think you have abandoned her and it's scarey. Go in once in awhile to say, mommy is still here and will come if you need, but you are staying in your crib. Give her a hug and lay her down. You may have to do this 10 times a night, but she will figure out that she is staying and calm down, if she knows you will come when she needs you. Don't pick her up! Just say, good night, and lay her back down. She won't stay there, but you are trying to recondition her to a new routine. It will take some time and consistancy.

I would suggest laying her down and then sit in a chair next to her bed, when she stands up to cry don't say anything or make eye contact just lay her back down. Repeat as needed. Once she stops trying to stand up then sit farther and farther away until you are out the door. This shows her you are there but that this is the new routine. It may take a week or so but soon she will recognize that bedtime is time to lay down.

You are the parent. It is upsetting to see your child get hysterical, but she will learn the routine. You and your husband will need to be of a like mind on whatever route you take. I realize lots of moms don't like the cry it out method, but it worked for me. My children are 8 and 6 years old now and they are well-adjusted kids that sleep in their own beds. They were not permanently tramatized. If you plan to 'cry it out', start it on a Friday, so you don't have to be at work the next day. Your child knows if she carries on long enough, you'll let her sleep with you. Be strong.