Son Hits His Head When He Does Not Get His Way!!!!!

Hi S.,

My oldest one started doing that when he was 17 months, he's now 2 1/2. He'll throw himself down and startng slamming his forehead off the floor, usually sevral times in a row. His temper tantrums are ridicolous. Ive been scared he'll cause damage,etc. I had tried time outs--they worked for a lil bit--and then id take things away FROM HIM. I try 2 remove him from the situation and get him 2 move unto something else. It seems like if i pay attention 2 my other one or i'm doing something is when it gets worse. he also does it if he gets frustrated with his toys. Ive talked 2 my dr, but he said kids go thru these stages. I too have tried 2 stop him but it doesnt always work. Ive been trying to let him do it without stopping him, i know it sounds mean, but usually, when he realizes im not dealing with him like that, he'll stop. It's like he want attention and he knows that i'll give him all the attention when he's doing it. I have a temper as does hes dad---he doesnt know him---so i dont understand why? I'm sorry. Wish there was more i can do to help you. (Also, my friends nephews do this, they're 2 and 4.) So you arent alone. Have you put balnkets or pillows down on the floor for him? Good luck.

I remember doing this when I was a kid, infact I continued to do it until I was 4 or 5. Hes not going to hurt his self and will eventually grow out of it. If he said that he did hurt his self he is just putting on a show to get attention. I wouldnt talk to any child therapist all it is going to do is just cost you money.

I am sorry that you are experiencing this. I know how it feels. when my daughter was about 1 1/2 till she was 3 yrs old yes it took a while before we finally figured it out. she would throw herself to the floor and slam her head up and down till her forehead was bright red. i used to think she was going to give herself brain damage but the dr assurred us that she will not hit her head hard enough to be too badly hurt. he told us to let her cry it out and walk away. to not give her the attention she wants. it was hard really hard but when we noticed her looking up to see if we were paying attention when we walked away we knew there was help in sight. it was sooo embarassing in the store but once they realize you are walking away and leaving them to deal with it themselves they realize it doesn't work..

My son has hit his head on the floor and other random things occasionally. He's never done it full force - he's always at least somewhat cautious about it and is watching for our reaction. Usually he'll give a pathetic pout and say his head hurts want it kissed. We try to ignore the behavior for the most part since it is obvious he's doing it for attention. If anything, we'll respond "no hitting. be gentle with owen." It's never been in situations when he's angry though.

If you have advice from a nurse that has witnessed or knows your child, I would follow her advice and talk with the ped. Modeling or helping him to use words in situation when he's angry can never hurt, but you are clearly upset by this behavior and that is usually enough to talk to the ped. They will either offer advice for how to deal with it or at least put you at ease about it if they don't feel it's an issue.

I had this problem with my daughter when she was your sons age. She also did head butting and when we took her to the doctor, she said that its normal bahavior for a frustrated toddler unable to communicate her wants to us. We also did the MRI/CAT scans (that was for me and my fear of permanent brain damage.) She was fine of course.

Though it may seem alarming, but banging the head, head butting — like biting or tantrums — is usually just another way toddlers show frustration or anger. Other times it's the result of roughhousing gone too far.

Kids tend to stop butting and banging their heads once they start speaking and can get your attention with their words instead of by force. Until then, to curb your son, try these things. We got these tips from her doctor.

Don't laugh, instead, let him know that it hurts him by saying "No, that is not allowed" very firmly whenever he does it. So he realizes his action won't grab your attention.

Distract him. Direct his attention somewhere else.

Help him communicate in other ways. When my daughter would bang her head on the floor, we made an obvious show of trying to figure out what it was that she wanted. "If she was near the fridge, I'd hold up different foods until she stopped. That helped."

Banish bad influences. TV and siblings' video games can be rife with violence, so make sure the entertainment in your toddler's line of vision is age appropriate. Also, avoid physical punishment, which only teaches him that aggression's an acceptable way to handle a problem.

It took us a while but she did eventually grow out of this behavior and it also encourages us to find a better way of communicating with her so that she would not have to feel this way anymore.

I hope this helps you some and good luck with your son.

I personally would talk with his pediatrician. And or make an appointment with a developmental ped.

Does your son seem to be hitting all the developmental milestones at the appropriate ages?

Also I would be careful how you respond to this behavior. When possible ignore this & try to get him to communicate with you.

Hello S.
I just want to tell you that I have a 2yr old daughter who does exactly the same as your son. When she doesn't get her way she will start screaming, biting whatever is near her and bangs her head against the wall, floor or on anything that it's near her. I spoke to her doctor about this and she told me that it is normal for children to do this. Most children at this age can't tell us what they want so when they don't get it this is how they express their frustration. When she does this I tried to redirect her and give her something else to do and at the same time I tell her "ouch that hurt." Or I tell her to show me what she wants. I also hold her and give her hugs and kisses to let her know that it is okay and that I love her. I hope everything works out good luck.

Hi S., Tempertantrums are for attention. I know it scares you to see him doing it, but it must not hurt him as much or he would stop.Dr. Kevin Lehman, who wrote the book How to get kids to mind without losing yours, say that without an audience kids will stop. If you can just leave the room,and maybe pretend to be doing something else, when he comes looking for you act like nothing happened. See if that works,Of course I have a cousin whose daughter used to do that back in the day before Dr. Spock and her doctor told her to keep a glass of water in the fridge. When the head banging started pour the cold water on her. Just took one time she stopped. Who knows?
J. W.

My son did the same thing when he was that age. He is 4 now.
He would hit his head when he didn't get his way. He outgrew that situation within a short time though. But anyhow, it bothered me cause I didn't want to see him get hurt. But when I mentioned this so the doctor, they told me that the first time he hurts himself doing this, he wouldn't do it anymore!

its just a phase my son did it too it it will take a few months but he will grow out of it especially if he sees it doesn't effect the decision you made

My son did this at this age. It was a phase that lasted 3-4 months or so. If your son seems to be able to communicate in some way, responds to you, is not out of control in other ways, etc., I would say this is probably a phase. You can move him to a safer area such as a carpeted room if or on a bed and watch him until he calms down. You may try just holding him firmly in your lap. Tell him calmly that its not OK for him to do that. Don't make a big deal of it. As his communication gets better this should go away. But if you sense something is wrong in other areas, pursue getting help. Good luck.

My son did this when he was around 1.5 and I was told to completely ignore it! That it is attention seeking behavior, it hurts and if he gets NO reaction he will stop. He did stop but it was hard no to react since he did it very hard bu t once he realized i t did noy get him so much as a look in his direction he stopped!